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I know I’m probably going to catch some flack for this one, but I’ve decided I may need to exclude any men who claim they are men of God (affectionately known as MOG). You know the type who can quote the bible from Genesis to Revelation and every chapter in between. A man who is initially attractive because of his beliefs in a higher power, who is pretty well versed on explaining in laments terms how each of the writings in the bible apply to our daily lives, and how the good word provides the best examples of how we should live our lives.
This so-called man of God probably has a long standing history of attending church, more than likely the same place of worship as his parents. The most appealing part of this man is when he expresses his desires for marriage and raising a family. So why would I make such a statement? The problem with this type of man is that he is only a follower of all of the above when it is convenient. A convenient follower, a hypocrite.
To set the record straight, I am by no means a religious person and would probably fall into the category of “other”. I grew up dreading the thought of waking up early on Sunday mornings, using money I thought was best suited for the ice cream truck instead of some copper dish, trying to stay awake while the pastor preached the word and watching adults act like possessed puppies because they were “happy”.
As I became older and wiser (or so I think), I was able to determine what course in life I wanted and have a clear idea of what traits I wanted in a man. Saying all of this, I knew that the type of person I would be interested in (1) had to at least be a believer, (2) not be too eccentric or the worshiper of some radical faith and (3) would need to accept me how I am. Okay, enough about that, now, on to the fake MOG.
Recently, I’d encountered one of these perpetrators and within the first couple of conversations had my “ahhhhh, he’s one of those” moments when I noticed him saying “he thanked God for this or that”, or how he “prayed that be meet the type of woman who…”, and of course there were a couple of “the bible says….” phrases in there as well. After my experience with the ex-boyfriend known as Jekyll, my first reaction hearing these things was RUN!!! RUN!!! RUN!!!!! I didn’t. I mean come on; surely I can’t use my bad experiences with one person and apply them to someone else even though they have some eerie similarities, right? Besides, I had just met this man and needed to see if his words and actions matched what his faith supposedly prescribed.
I gave him a chance, and soon found out that this was indeed a great man of God, whose actions were noble and he always had nothing but the best interest of others in mind. I finally got it right, and could relax and look forward to growing the relationship.
Yeah right! This blog IS called my dating hangovers for a reason, and believe me, this man was the closest thing to the DEVIL I’ve yet to encounter. He was religious alright, but only when it was convenient as he tried to manipulate me or guilt trip me into doing something because we were together and in love. I soon learned that he was just like the rest who made it a point to constantly mention their honor and dedication to the lord; in fact, men like him are WORSE than those who are straightforward about the foul things they’re doing with their lives.
The realization of what a convenient man of God came to light (another “ahhhhh” moment). I figure these types of men are the ones I should never date because they share a common trait that is just straight up shitty. As long as they can pick and choose HOW they want to be viewed as religious believers, then it’s all good. For instance, I found there are several specific areas where this type of hypocrisy is noted most often:
Church – I can count on one hand how many times ANY of these MOG’s had actually attended church services while we were together. More often than not, the excuse was “I’m looking for a new church home” or “I only attended because it was my parent’s church, but it wasn’t really my style” and “let’s find one together”. Although I tell each and every one of these men at the onset that I am not a regular church attendee, I will expressed the desire to try something different in hopes that I might find one that I truly enjoyed. Still, nothing. So we normally treated Sundays like we would any other day, relax in our separate abodes or out and about somewhere.
Gluttony – A common misconception about this word is that many people believe it only pertains to the consumption of food or alcohol which isn’t the case. A glutton can be a person who overindulges in anything, and while there a few of these men who could down a few shots of Patron or Tequila like it was water, there were others who simply demanded too much of my time. They were selfish, controlling and jealous of anything or anyone else in my life that didn’t have anything to do with them most common negative trait of gluttony was their demands of my time. Nothing was never enough, I could spend an entire weekend and when it was time for the fun to end, would be asked “are you leaving me now?”. Whoever said you can never have enough of a good thing is a liar.
Accountability – This is an interesting one, but again something these men all had in common. They could never take responsibility for their actions (more than half the time, was admitting when they were caught in a lie), and if by some small change they did admit something, the bible toting was in full effect. Because these men use the bible as a shield of armor for their fucks ups, I was expected to consider the biblical texts on forgiveness. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a Matthew verse or a ______________ thrown at me because I should have been more understanding that man is not perfect and that he makes mistakes. Seriously? How about taking it back to the old days with “thou shall not lie”.
And yes, I saved the best for last…out of all of the commonalities I have noticed that each of the fake men of God, convenient Christians and Preacher’s Kids have it is….
Sex – Each and EVERY one of these clowns were lovers of the word, the Lord and the sword until it came to smacking it up, flipping, rubbing it down, sucking, humping, tossing and slurping. Each and EVERY one had some kinky fetish or some type of sexual dysfunction (or malfunction for some) and didn’t give second thought to the fact that they were – gasp – fornicating!!
I’m sure I’ve left out a few traits but these were certainly the most common and my experiences with all of them has done nothing but prove what I thought about certain people all along. Whether man or woman, I feel you shouldn’t have to say it or try so hard to prove that you are adherent of a particular faith. You should not, however, be hypocritical, where you are constantly practicing the very sins your word is teaching you to avoid. A person’s actions speak louder than words.
So the next time I encounter another man who wants to flaunt his faith but isn’t trying to date women from a singles ministry, church retreat, Christian Singles.com, pulls out the Philly blunt and glass of Hennessey after reading his daily word, or wants to make a trip to the sex toy store, I’ll just keep it moving.