What are you thinking when you decide to contact an ex or someone you used to date? I mean if you haven’t talked to a person in over a week or some extended period of time, and you’ve got your fingers ready to make that call or send a text. We all do it, which I guess isn’t necessarily a bad thing (though I wonder what the hell is the point), but it’s WHAT you SAY to the person that makes all the difference. Sometimes what I receive from an old fling is just retarded.
Case in point – the text I received earlier this morning from USBC. I know it’s been a while since you’ve had to hear about him, and we haven’t talked or communicated otherwise in about two weeks and I think it’s been almost two months since we hung out. Remember why he was awarded this acronym, right? We both agreed to just “hang out” when either of us were free or had nothing else to do until something better came along.
Well let me tell you, I could give a flying fart about what USBC’s been up to and think this second instance of a childish “I’m with someone and it isn’t you” update is really his lame way of saying “still wish it could have been you”.
I could really make this a post about “What not to say to an old fling” or “Men text dumb stuff” or even “Do not contact” but I figured the best way of expressing this stupidity is by sharing the message the old fashioned way. Verbatim. Lights, Camera, Action!
Him: “I want a divorce!”
Me: “That’s fine, come get your stuff before I burn it, LOL”
Him: “What’s up, what’s happening in the wonderful world of Carmen?”
Me: “My neck and back have been killing me, but all things considered, I’m pretty good. What about you?”
Him: “Just working this crazy shift. Sleeping all day and working all night. Had to kinda get a GF just to make it work out.”
Me: “Gf? Uh okay. Good for you, hope that works out”
Him: “I don’t know. Seemed like a good idea at first”.
There are so many things wrong with this exchange already and what I hate experiencing time and time again is the PB, when someone says something then tries to back peddle so they don’t mess up any possible chance they might have with you. Ugh. Back to the diagloue….
Me: “If you “thought” getting a GF was a “good idea” as opposed to wanting one for other reasons, dude, you’ve got issues”.
Him: “What? Nah, she’s cool and everything. I can’t really do anything else so I decided to take her up on her offer. It only lasted 21 hours at first but then it worked out for 3 days I think, then we kinda fell out again. But we’re back on track now, since like yesterday. Relationships are touch. The biggest issue I have with her is her 6’5 300lb husband who has anger issues… Well she says he just breaks stuff”
Silence. I had nothing else to say and that textversation ended there.
Are you fricking kidding me? When I said “what about you”, I sure as hell wasn’t looking for some new Tyler Perry screenplay about some married chick you’re banging. Who cares? I mean really, this was unsolicited information and worse, this is the second zero to sixty second romance he’s had with a woman who is married. Why does he think either of these deserve bragging rights?
What’s so sad about this story is I’d considered USBC a highly intelligent individual, but obviously he is single for a reason. If he believes that sharing this type of story with me (mind you, he KNOWS I have a blog though he’s not been invited to it or even been given a hint) somehow make him look like he’s the man, he’s missed the mark. Big time.