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Dear So and So- Carmen’s version

This is soooo not related to a man, sex, dating or anything having to do with a hangover but still funny enough to share.

It really has no title, and I guess I could apologize if it offends anyone (damn you nail shop ladies, I knew it!!).

Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can’t touch this.

Sincerely,

That Little Triangle
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Dear Snooki,

GET BACK TO WORK!

Sincerely,

Willy Wonka

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Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,

The Mayans
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Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic

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Dear Dr. Phil,

Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.

Sincerely,

Dr. Pepper

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Dear iPhone,

Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User
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Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.

Sincerely,

Parents Everywhere

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Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies

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Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,

Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?

Sincerely,

Terrified
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Dear Ugly People,

You’re welcome.

Sincerely,

Alcohol
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Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely,

Superman
———————

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color.

Sincerely,

Black people
———————

Dear Katy Perry,

I liked the kiss too.

Sincerely,

Justin Beiber
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Dear Anne Frank,

Two can play this game….

Sincerely,

Waldo
———————
Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely,

1985
———————
Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,

Sarah Palin
———————
Dear Yahoo,

I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…

Sincerely,

Google
———————
Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic
———————

Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences! I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land. This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....". If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy! Carmen

3 Comments

    • Carmen

      Isn’t it cute Madam Hauteness? So simple but so true! There should be more added such as people who have loud conversations on their cell phones and think they’re being discreet?

      Dear Lady in line behind me at the doctors office:

      You may think you’re whispering but you’re not. Me and the lady in front of me agree, you shouldn’t have waited so long to schedule your abortion in your 4th month and yes, you should tell the guys you didn’t know whose baby it was.

      Sincerely,
      Aetna Patient in Line

      =)

      You’re really not whispering

  • Kimmie

    The nail shop techs kill me and yeah, I know they’re talking about customers just like we’re cackling at their toes handing off the corners of their sandals.

    LOL

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