Plenty of Fail,  THIS is Why I'm Single!

Plenty of Failure

In this week’s episode of My Dating Hangovers, we feature stories from Comeback Charlie, Impromptu Text Date, Sybil’s Brother, Smoldering Incense and Simply Lame.

Really, my encounters with men whether I meet them in person or online are worthy of an episode on your favorite soap opera.  So how about a recap of this past weekend starting from the lesser of the evils to the worst starting with…….

# 5 – Smoldering Incense

Just as the name indicates, Incense is one of those harmless guys because he is about as exciting as watching paint dry.  About every 6 months or so, he’ll resurface with a “Are you married yet” text to see if he still has a chance at something with me.   We’ll exchange a few catching up messages and then not much else after that except for my usual “I’ll call you to see when we can hook up” reply followed by my action of doing NOTHING.  Nice enough guy and when we’d gone out a few times years ago, we had an okay time but there just wasn’t any real chemistry.  Besides, I hate receiving those random camera phone in mirror chest shots.  FAILURE.

# 4 – Impromptu Text Date

I’ve mentioned this before, but I really wished we could get back to the basics of dating.  You know, when you would exchange numbers with someone, CALL and TALK then arrange to go out?  Instead everything is done by text, which is exactly what nearly all of the men I’ve been meeting (whether in person or online) seem to do.  This POF contender decided a 1am text wishing me sweet dreams and telling me “I just song you a lalaby” (figure this one out) was a great opening for communication.  Alright, if I’m being forced into text contact I have to say this – if your spelling isn’t the greatest, a telephone call would be in your best interest.  I COULD blame the common misspellings that often spew out of the Iphone, but I’m really thinking “lalaby” was a manual entry.  I didn’t reply so the next day I received a text to hook up for lunchner (combination of lunch and dinner) and while spontaneity is nice, it would be nicer to have heard your voice a time or two before agreeing to a date.  Maybe it was the way he asked me out without initiating a phone call OR the grade 2 hurricane that was brewing, but I just wasn’t feeling it yesterday. FAILURE.

# 3 – Comeback Charlie

“Don’t want to lose contact with you, but don’t want to chase you either”.  I guess the bad weather put the fellas in a text-some-bullshit mood, because this is what I received from Come Back Charlie (“CBC”) last evening.  You send one text message and you think you’re chasing me?   Um okay.  So here’s the deal with CBC – we were going to try for a date on Saturday but when I told him early afternoon he proposed probably wouldn’t work with me, I countered with getting together later that evening and when he replied with a “We’ll see” followed by no additional contact, I figured that was the end of that.  CBC’s true colors are showing because he initially said he was okay with being forced into friend only status, but I’m noticing more and more that he’s sneaking in a few sexual innuendos here and there.   Sigh.  I already know where this is going.  FAILURE.

# 2 – Simply Lame

This gem lost the race before he could get his hooves out of the starting gate.  I wish I had time to share all of the wonderful encounters from POF, because trust me, there are many but occasionally I’ll encounter one who appears to have some sense.  Key word, appears.   Here’s a quick timeline for how he went from “Hmm, seems interesting” to “Loser” in a matter of days.  Last Sunday and Monday we’d messaged each other back and forth before finally agreeing to exchange numbers with the intent of eventually meeting up.  Tuesday, I called him (caller ID unblocked) and left my introductory message for a return call.  Nothing happens.   Sunday (yesterday) he sends me a message on POF apologizing for having been really busy, acknowledging he’d received my message but didn’t have a chance to call back or respond.  Then Mr. Lame asks if I can send him my number AGAIN or call him AGAIN and leave a message AGAIN.   Seriously?  I quickly pointed my mouse and clicked on another ridiculous message and deleted AGAIN.  FAILURE.

And drums can I get a drum roll for the one who tops the list of the weekend hangovers…

# 1 – Sybil’s Brother

It never ceases to amaze me that the one’s who initially seem to be the most promising end up being the worst basket cases known to women.  Allow me to introduce you the man whose many personalities surfaced within a 72 hour period, Sybil’s Brother.  Just as Come Back Charlie, SB introduced himself the right way and made sure I knew he’d paid attention to my ramblings in my profile and description.  He got my attention by using humor – I love to laugh.  So when replied and made up this fabulously fairytale of “this is how we met” to our imaginary 21 children, he’d successfully avoided entrance into the deleted message bin.  By the end of Friday, we’d exchanged a several messages and ending with him leaving his number.  I should mention something that turned me off a bit was when he messaged me that he had to keep running back to Starbucks to check his messages in anticipation of my replies because he didn’t have Internet service at home.  A man who is eager desperate or just really intrigued? 

Oh yes, in true soap opera fashion, I’ll be right back after a commercial break.

Carmen ~

Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences! I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land. This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....". If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy! Carmen

12 Comments

  • Just Saying

    CBC – I’ve dated that. I don’t want to lose contact, but I don’t want to chase you….. to “we’ll see” who’s the one playing games and wanting to be chased?

    Ugh. I’m so glad I deleted my pof account.

    • Carmen

      Just Saying, you’re absolutely right!! Thank goodness wasn’t really banking on meeting anyone with real substance off of there.

      I think of this site as being the skid row of dating.

      Constantly, I have to remind myself that these are actually grown men I’m dealing with, and when I’m sharing these shenanigans with non-blog readers the first question from them is always “how OLD are they??”

      Silly children is what they are and while I encounter douchebag quality men on other sites, POF by far seems to have the worst!

  • Caleb

    I’m going to start sanging women lalabies each night.

    Isn’t a lalabie a type of bird?

    I’m confused.

    And a guy with no internet? Yeah, he’s out. Out. Yup, you- get out. Go on. Come back after you call Mediacom. Go on.

    • Carmen

      Nice try, but even you can’t put a spin on this type of grammatical ignorance. Not a bird my dear. Just curious, do guys encounter a lot of engnorant (yep, I did) chicks as well?? Is it the fault of teachers and parents forcing me to be okay with crappy writing and grammar skills ’cause the boys were focused on math and science? Or it it that certain men (and it isn’t just certain demographics) are dumb as hell??

      No internet at home?? Ridiculous. Hell, you can at least spring for $19.99/month for Magic Jack if you’re that hard up!

      Neeeeexxxxxxxtttttttt!

      • Caleb

        Absolutely.

        I have a collection of favorite chick profile stuff somewhere… off the top of my head I remember an opening line from a girl:

        “I want someone who is at the same wave link as me”

        I thought about emailing her, once I figured out what she was talking about.

        Still haven’t figured it out.

  • Jessie

    No Internet?? Maybe it’s me, but who doesn’t have THAT?? Is it because his computer broke or just that HE is broke?

    I think CBC is trying to be a booty call come back and is hoping a few outings to get him back in your good graces is just a ploy, not sure I would trust that one.

    You listed the Sybil dude as a failure but left it as a cliffhanger? You’re nuts! LOL

    • Carmen

      Yes Jessie, I’m wondering if the finances are a factor. If that is the case, I can’t understand men or women who try meeting new people and dating when their finances are a little challenged?

  • Kimmie

    This is pathetic, what’s wrong with these people?? If this is the bullcrap to look forward to when single, I’ll take my chances probably sticking with the loser I already have. I feel you on the text thing but I guess that’s just the way things work now.

    • Carmen

      That’s right Kimmie, this is raw and unedited, single life at it’s finest.

      I recently read on another blog that dating was what you made it. The writer made it seem as if it was people like ME who had the issues and complained too much. Blow me!

      It isn’t unrealistic to expect some semblance of normalcy. It isn’t unrealistic to want to meet someone who doesn’t speak or write as if English is their third language. It isn’t unrealistic to want someone to actually look like the photo they posted online. It isn’t unrealistic to desire someone actually courting you. It sure as hell isn’t unrealistic to want to have long conversations and grow to love hearing someone’s voice and laughter instead of seeing “LOL”.

      I-will-not-settle.

  • j

    Sounds a lot like my POF experiences.

    No internet? Really? Did someone forget to tell him it is 2011 and not 1995? Next, please.

    • Carmen

      That’s right J, no Internet at home and even better… Learned from my source that he’s out of work right now as well.

      No Internet, no job. Tell me why you’re on a dating site?

      Hmmm…. FAILURE.

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