Guest Posts, THIS is Why I'm Single!, Uncategorized

Featured Blog Post of the Week – “Toddler Man”

This Featured Blog Post of the week comes from a fairly new blogger named SingleInLA.  I consider her somewhat of a fallen angel because she was in a place where some of us would like to be – in a committed relationship, in love and engaged and ready to spend the rest of her life with her prince charming.  The problem?  Well…. that prince charming had a little bit of frog blood and things just didn’t work out.  So after 7 years of not having to worry about getting a date for that special event, catching a movie with your snuggle bunny or reliable nookie without strings, she’s back on the market.

Here’s the latest from SingleInLA’s blog called Me So Single:

Enjoy!

Carmen~

Toddler Man12 Apr 2011 1 Commentby SingleinLA in The One I Met Online

I had a day of firsts.  First date since the break up, first date with a guy I met online and my first white guy (cause I’m down with the swirl, I like a little cream in my coffee, or a little dulce de leche, or a little..whatever I can use to describe Asian guys). You get the point right?

Let’s go back to how this all started. I found this guy  on a dating website,  I read his profile and saw his pics, he seemed like fun, a little shorter than I prefer but that’s okay, he’s still taller than me. We started off chatting online then spent the next week chatting, texting and talking endlessly for 7 days. We had some pretty intimate conversations during that week and the thought of meeting him went from exciting to stressful! What if he wasn’t what I expected, what if I was wasn’t what he expected? It’s been a while since I’ve been out there in the singles market so it’s hard to gauge your hotness. So we set a date. I wasn’t really sure what to do. I’ve never been the type to sleep with a guy on a first date but who knows what kinda slut I may have turned into so I cleaned my apartment and even went to buy condoms! Ha! Let me back track and say I went to buy condoms and geez, I thought shopping for tampons was tricky. I’ve never seen that much variety…I was totally overwhelmed so I left empty handed and decided to just not be a slut.

This situation raised all sorts of self-doubt, am I too fat? What if I’m not that interesting? What if I’m not that attractive? Blah, blah, blah.  It’s been 7 years since I’ve been on a date so this is completely new territory for me. Stressful.

So as usual I’m late. We get to the designated location, I get out the car with my cute outfit and sexiest pair of boots.  He meets me at my car and be is short…not a little short, not kinda short. I’m talkin about put him in a baby sling and reast feed him SHORT!  I’m pretty sure there is still an Amber Alert with my car description and license plate because I abducted a kid SHORT!  Oh well, I wasn’t going to waste my hot outfit and free cocktails.

So our first destination was a trendy little bar in Culver City and by the time we got there seating was limited so we left and headed to something a little more divey. The mojitos were excellent, we had some good laughs and all was fine, it was like hanging out with a friend. His small statue totally disarmed my insecurity and self-doubt so I was able to just be me. At the end of the night there was a kiss, less out of attraction and more out of curiosity and it was nothing to write home about. He had tiny lips, that was weird for me. I’m chalking that up to all past kisses being with guys that were either black or latino…Viva La Luscious Lips!

I already knew this wouldn’t workout, he was way to tiny, and did I forget to mention balding? Yep, double whammy. Besides, I can’t date a guy that is small enough for me to beat up plus there was no physical attraction on my end. Being the nice person that I am I didn’t want to just stop calling the guy altogether, that would hurt my feelings if someone did that to me, so I decided to play it cool and steer this thing into friend mode. Over the next few days our contact was kinda limited and I sent him a text message joking saying something about not hearing from him after we met. He replied “I’m not interested in dating you”. I nearly fell out of my seat. Ummmmm, excuse me I’M THE HOT ONE! YOU ARE TODDLER MAN! I’M TRYING TO BE NICE! After the shock and laughter simmered down I replied “me either, just trying to be friendly” and that was the end of that.

HA!

By the way, about a month later Tiny Tim messaged me again and told me that the reason that he said that he was not interested in dating me was because he thought I was not interested in him. I guess it was the ole, let me say it first so I feel better about myself situation. We have since talked a bit off and on but no more dates.

Here’s what I learned from this experience:

1. I’m smokin hot!

2. We are all a little f’ed up and insecure

3. Women lie about their weight and guys lie about their height, be sure to have cute flats on hand for any dates with guys under 6 feet

3. There is a great divey bar near my house that makes FABULOUS mojitos

I’ve had a couple more dates since this one so hold tight for more stories! I’ll try to update more frequently.

2 thoughts on “Featured Blog Post of the Week – “Toddler Man”

    1. Thank you David and welcome. If you’re commenting on this particular post (“Toddler Man”), I’m afraid I can take the credit. This was the work of MeSoSingle.

      But… If you’re commenting in general, I’ll tall all of the credit.

      🙂

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