My Dating Hangovers,  THIS is Why I'm Single!

Meanwhile… in other news

While the majority of the bloggers (didn’t realize so many of them were in the Northeast) are writing posts ranging from:

– how to prepare for a hurricane

– having the right snuggle boo with you in case you’re in bunkers for days

And

– what singles can do with themselves ALONE without their electrical crack such as computers and televisions

Meanwhile… the rest of us started our weekends dealing with the usual- figuring out what to do on Friday night, wondering how to do a little shopping on a shoestring budget and of course, how to handle the men in our lives.

Man oh man, are the dating and relationship woes are rampant!

Friday – I received a text from one of my girls that simply stated “men aren’t shit”. Uh, okay. I sighed because this is one of those people who never listen to the advice she solicits and always follows the same pattern in how she handles men.
Lola* was stood up by a new guy she started seeing. Again. Like the fifth time. Not stood up as in him calling with an excuse at the last minute of why they couldn’t get together, but the real stood up – no call, no show. Color me irrational, but after the second time I would have been a little leery of him, the third? Done. Anything after that? Just plain stupid.

Saturday – A woman receives a text from a former hangover she has still kept a little “I wonder if..”in her mind about. The guy started off with small chit chat then asked how her relationship progressing and if it was serious yet. She replied it was going fine (at least she was truthful) but added there were certain things she wasn’t happy about (also true but never give the negative to a former fling).

Next, said hangover asked if he could see her and thinking an innocent convo over coffee or something wouldn’t hurt, replied “sure”. Well he certainly was thinking of a little more than some worn out cushions at Starbucks as he suggested he meet up with him in Vegas. She figures she can weasel her way out of this invite by saying it wasn’t in her budget until he replies back with an enticing “a budget would not be needed, just get here”.

For a millisecond, Ms.- so-in-love actually thought about it and instead of replying, fired off a couple of texts to her support team. Luckily, they all replied with a resounding “HELL NO”, followed by “what were you thinking”.

Well, I don’t know WHAT I was thinking. It was GOP and I know I’m not the only one who has that one man or woman in their lives from the past who could throw a monkey wrench in a relationship if they allowed it.

Yes, I’m in the mix as well.

Last but not least, today (Sunday), I get a phone call from someone I’ll call Maxine. I’ve never shared any of her stories but after her telling me I could mention her fiasco’s with men and last night’s drive-by-my-man’s-house-in-your-car-because-he-hasn’t-returned-my-calls trip, I had to mention her for the weekend recap.

Sigh.

Maxine is an intelligent, street smart and beautiful woman. Yet is seems when it comes to men, that first compliment is a little questionable. After she shared that the man we did the drive by on had been avoiding contact with her. My thoughts? There’s a reason and it should be left at that.

So what happens? Maxine gets a call from the guy apologizing, saying how busy he had been (for an entire week??) and how much he missed her. Now suddenly, he’d turned things around with one very convincing text and telephone conversation and she’s wondering why she can’t resist him.

And so the saga continues.

Guess there are quite a few of us waiting for the cure for the hangovers.

Carmen

Carmen’s posting with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences! I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land. This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....". If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy! Carmen

6 Comments

  • Esme

    You’re right, we all have the one guy we can’t say no to. I’ve even written about it a few times. But since so few people actually know the whole story, like only the people in blog land, I don’t have the support system when it comes to being strong on demand! But I am so glad you do, because girlfriend-that would have been oh so very bad. You could have undone EVERYTHING. Or…is that the reason you actually considered it? If you are anything like me, you find ways to sabotage when things are going good, bad, or indifferent. It’s a genetic deficiency….at least that is what I tell myself.

    • Carmen

      You know Esme, sometimes its a little scary how you can be dead on about these posts.

      Sabatoge is right.

      In my mind, though most of the qualities I would want in a man are there with Rescue, I’m getting a little anxious- no, very anxious waiting for things to align in his life.

      So with all that he’s dealing with leaving me at times, feeling like I’m unfulfilled, I have the “what if” looming with GOP. Yes, I was very tempted and to be perfectly honest, was just in a mood to be pampered and not having to worry about anything.

      Sad thinking that for a split second, I was willing to give GOP a pass for the f’d up way he handled me for a day/night of fun in sin city. Yes, thank goodness for a good support system AND a playdate I had to retrieve my child from otherwise.. Might have been on the 15 freeway headed north.

      I need to figure out how to either weigh my options and be in it to win it with who I have now or…

      • Esme

        I think you may always have these feelings, at least you will as long as you are with Rescue. Why? Because you have given yourself to him. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and in every other way. You are willing to stay with him, and see him, through his shit. However, you are not getting the same courtesy. He has yet to start the divorce proceedings, which makes him pretty unavailable to you mentally and emotionally. And us woman need that emotional connection to have a fully vested relationship. So I think its only natural to want to explore the ‘what might have been’. But only you can decide which path to take, and if it is worth the what ifs.

        • Carmen

          Exploring the what might have been is right.

          I think I started feeling this way more and more after Mr. Hollywood hit me with the surprise “I got engaged” message.

          He and I had just met when Rescue popped back into my life, so there were times when he would try to get together and I would decline. Why? I figured he’d waited a little too late to put forth that type of effort and I’d decided to work with Rescue.

          I even (had the nerve) to mention this to Rescue who asked me why I was so annoyed with the guy for telling me. He said “why, you figure you could have been engaged instead?”. Good question. I’ll never know will I?

          It seems awful of me having these thoughts and doubts but I can’t help it but you’re right – the longer this divorce initiation drags on, the worse it will get.

          He knows, he’ll check in and ask me to be patient and work with him, trying to assure me that in the end, it will all payoff.

          I gave him 1 year as of January 29th.

          I’m looking to see activity started by December. If I can hold out that long.

    • Carmen

      Oh come on Jessie, why did you have to ask why? πŸ™‚

      I don’t know why I considered it OR him. I just did.

      GOP to me is like the guy who is trying to take someone’s virginity just because. He is the only man I was never able to concede to my wants and requests.

      A-hole who should be forgotten? Yes, probably.

      What he has going for him?

      He’s interesting. His life isn’t completely scattered. He was one of my “best ___ I ever had” lists.

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