I just got my house key back from Rescue.
The last message I’d sent was pretty stern as I said a little something like “I don’t want to talk to you” and “leave the car running, I’ll meet you at the door”.
So there he was, looking as handsome as ever with a puppy dog look on his face to match mine, waiting with key in hand.
Here’s how I envisioned things would go:
Carmen stands with hands on hips in the door way, one eyebrow cocked in the air with a disgusted look. Rescue walks up and she says “my key”, quickly extends her right hand, gets the key then smugly says “about time” then turns on her heel. Just as she’s about to close the door, Carmen yells “we are DONE!”
Yeah, sounds like a nice dramatic ending from the girlfriend who had been neglected for two and a half weeks. But uh, it didn’t quite go down like that.
Instead, Rescue walks up to the door steps, extends the key and when I go to reach for it, quickly grabs me and we hug.
I mean really, embrace is more fitting of a description.
As my chest is pressed into his and Rescue’s arms are wrapped tightly like a young baby being swaddled, it hits me. It’s almost like he is reading my mind, sensing the signals of my body language from that hug that seemed to last forever and he says “Baby, we are not over, we are not. I told you, I will not lose you a second time, I can’t. I won’t”.
It is almost 4 o’clock in the morning and it would take me a while to share all that transpired between us as I stood at my door, half asleep with pajamas and scarf to boot.
I’ll just say this – I lied. I told Rescue I didn’t want to talk but I did. I simply asked why? Why couldn’t he just TELL me that he was going through it. Why couldn’t he trust me, the woman he’s so in love with and wants to be with; trust me enough to explain his 3 week plan in advance so I wouldn’t think something else.
Because he is a man.
Men do foolish – not stupid things because of their pride, ego whatever.
Men, especially when in relationships, fail to realize that communicating with your partner is NOT the same as being monitored or bossed around. It’s simply communicating which alleviates a tremendous amount of bullshit.
We’re all big boys and girls, we realize that when your actions deviate from the norm and you fail to simply explain why, that leaves things open to interpretation and most times, we then assume. Assume the worst.
Long of the short? I’ll be high in the friendly skies for part one of my vacation and although things are not how they should be, I’m going to be leaving with love in my heart.
I can’t say for sure what will happen with Rescue when I return, and I did chuckle at the last thing he said to me as he jokingly told me “have fun and don’t be over there acting like Stella”.
Seeing him made all of the ill feelings I had towards him subside.
Only time will tell.
For now… Atlanta and Jamaica, you better get ready for me!
Until there’s a cure for the hangovers…
Carmen’s posting with WordPress for BlackBerry.