Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  When you're dating your ex

The word is OUT!

All I’m saying is… It seems like the world got the memo about my relationship blues.

I get a random text message from Mr. Jekyl (damn, I STILL have not shared the sordid details about that love affair turned Nightmare on Elm St.). Simply saying “Hi”.

Don’t read any more into it. That IS his modus operandi – get you with a minimalistic approach then go in for the kills texting you to death asking why you can’t be friends.

Then, I get an even more random “Hi there friend, long time no talk. How have you been? I miss my friend, hope we can meet up soon”. This was actually from the last guy I’d gone on a date with before I put the plug in the bathtub of my dating life.

I can’t remember what his pseudonym was at this moment, but I DO remember he was a really nice guy, smelled great, was very articulate and had positively, absolutely, without a doubt – no neck. Or legs.

Okay, I’m totally bullsh#tting about the legs but he was short. Very short.

I felt bad that I hadn’t really contacted him since our breakfast date aside from a few pity calls and texts to keep up. I replied to him that I was doing well (lie) and said sure, we could meet up some time.

Last but not least, to round out my 4 days of men-suck-and-I’m-trying-not-to-be-jaded I get this lovely message in my mailbox just seconds ago:

“eHarmony – You could Find Singles Like You”

Really? Can I REALLY find singles like me? Hell, am I truly even single? If I am single am I really interested in the extended torture chamber known as the eharmony personality/matching profile?

Ummmmm… I think not!

By the way, isn’t that baby THE creepiest looking thing you’ve ever seen? πŸ™‚

Thought I’d found it but nope… Still waiting on the cure for the hangovers…

Carmen

Carmen’s posting with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences! I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land. This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....". If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy! Carmen

8 Comments

  • Esme

    I swear a phone tree exists among my exes and flings from the past. As soon as I am ‘available’, I get the most random text messages from the most random people. Christ people, let me breathe!!

    Find one you want to spend a sweaty, yelly, orgasmically night with, and celebrate getting control of your life and/or emotions back. Sure, the hurt and the tears will be there for a while. But it doesn’t mean you can’t get laid on your terms. Bow-chicka bow bow!

    • Carmen

      Lmao!

      Putting your love life on blast to share with others who have been there? Plus.

      Getting suggestions to get my back blown out and hair all sweaty as a means of getting over the hurt?

      Priceless!

      Thanks E.

      I’m still in ICU – I might break out b.o.b. before I go calling on any throwbacks or introducing some new booty.

      πŸ™‚

      • Esme

        It took me a couple of weeks to bust out Medic, but now I use him for what God has put him on this earth for…to make me forget about a certain someone and as a distraction. Unconventional? Probably. But damn that boy makes me want to smoke after sex!

        • Carmen

          Unconventional is okay.

          I’m a little too raw to even entertain a smoky session with Good on Paper, one who would be at my door with pants to his ankles.

          All I can think about right now is my vacation… Lounging in the hot sun, relaxing to the sounds of the beach in Jamaica.

          8 days to go…

    • Carmen

      Everywhere Mel is right.

      I’m not making any moves right now. I’m going to sit back and see what cards are dealt next.

      Life seems so much simpler when men aren’t involved romantically.

  • Kimmie

    Wait, what the hell??? How far back do I need to go to catch up?

    I thought things were cool with you and fire dude? Now you’re posting about eharmony.

    Damn, let me start reading.

    You’ve got some ‘splaining to do Lucy!

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