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Facebook Friend Request

Damn, damn, damn!

Before I can even talk about the lock and key event, the interesting prospects and hell-to-the-no’s I’ve received from the online dating account, or even a mention of my first meeting up with one guy Saturday night, said guy does the one thing that annoys me the most- sends a damn friend request on Facebook.

Scroll back up four lines and perhaps you’ll understand why I’m so irked. We JUST met!!!!!!!

It may not make sense now since you’re not privy to the details of our last minute meet up, the pseudonym being assigned to this man won’t make sense. As soon as I’m able to post again, you’ll hear more about Bearded Dragon.

Oh yes, I did.

Now, back to my rant – this lingering friend request.

Several months or so ago, a girlfriend and I were discussing this very thing and at first, she said she didn’t see what the big deal was about adding someone you just met. That is until I started explaining to her what any in the past did with my posts, photos and friends list.

I’m talking violations in the worst way, and I also reminded her of Sybil – a former hangover who got his panties all in a bind because I wasn’t quite ready to add him after we reconnected one day over lunch.

What is the frigging deal with needing to have so many ways to connect with someone you just met? I’m sorry to say this but if we’ve met once and didn’t have that oh-my-goodness-you’re-wonderful-where-have-you-been-all-my-life type of encounter, you better believe the jury is still out on whether or not I want to continue knowing you.

Viewing my posts, whereabouts and more importantly, my photographs of my child, friends, names of my friends are things I need to be comfortable with sharing. Bearded Dragon has my telephone number so he can call or text and that’s about all that I’m interested in sharing.

Whatever happened to etiquette?

Just as a man would ask if he could call you, why not ask if he can friend you?

Shit, now that I think about it I’m turned off by this even more. He does NOT have my email address and I NEVER told him my last name, so how the hell did he look me up on Facebook in the first place???

He Googled me.

Ugh.

Say what you want to say, its a preference on just how much you want to share. Once I share the conversation over dinner, you’ll understand why.

Carmen

7 thoughts on “Facebook Friend Request

  1. I think you’re entitled to be irritated. For some reason, folks don’t understand the meaning of get to know me first and then we can share deets, not the opposite way around. Can’t wait to hear about the Bearded Dragon…hee hee 😉

    1. Hey there Mel!

      Thank you for understanding this. If anything, one of the bigger problems with this friend request is that people don’t pace themselves, you know?

      Nor do they pay attention to details. I told Bearded D in our first phone calls that I was pretty guarded with my information. Such that the city shown in my online profile is about 20 minutes away from my true city.

      Worse is that this fool went online to search for me. We were sitting right across from each other, why not just ask me?

      Hell, after having met him and realizing that his photos were strategically taken is the real turn off.

      Dating sucks.

  2. I don’t see any problem either way, but like you said Carmen – its a preference what you want to share.

    I think you hit the nail on the head at the end saying it was that this dude (why Bearded Dragon though?? Lol) had to search for you to do it. Not cool man, not cool at all.

    Maybe your meeting went so well (in his mind), that he figured Facebook was a way of bonding even more?

    Like I’ve said before, Facebook is sometimes more trouble than its worth. Look @ your friend whose wife put him on blast!!

    1. Yep Kendall, he typed in “Carmen” and scrolled until he got lucky and found me.

      As for the married friend, he had been cheating for years but I’m not sure how long he had been on Facebook. Yes, it is trouble for the weak and those without a thought that they would get caught doing dirt!

  3. The thing is that this is your preference. Perhaps he likes to friend people quickly. Or uses FB as a networking tool. Or in any number of other ways that aren’t creepy.

    I completely agree with you in wanting to keep a guard around your FB page from random guys you date. At the same time, you are the one choosing to make a big deal out of his request, and then calling him a “fool” and other such names.

    There’s no reason why you can’t let the request sit, and if you liked the guy enough to go out again, simply go out again and say you’re not ready to be FB friends yet. His handling of that would be a good sign of whether he can respect boundaries or not.

    Frankly, it sounds like you weren’t really interested in this guy anyway. Not enough to cut him any slack for something that is really minor in the big scheme. And again, something that you still have control over. He simply looked up your name and clicked a button. He can’t get in any further unless you let him.

    1. Ooh Nathan- the main issue was that I just wasn’t interested in him because his profile (specifically his photo) portrayed someone else.

      So on top of the fact of me simply not digging him, I was turned off by the friend request. I could careless what he or anyone else is using that or any other social medium for, there still exists some type of etiquette.

      I dare to say it would be the same if he and I (or anyone else) had messaged each other online and he looked up my NUMBER and called me as opposed to just asking.

      It is what it is… Some people are totally fine with these types of thinks and look at it as “they’re interested” or would “like to network”, others feel it is doing too much, too soon.

  4. Um no. That is annoying and you most certainly shouldn’t feel obligated to make yourself so accessible. Some peopke simply do not have boundaries..

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