THIS is Why I'm Single!

A Photo Worth Three Words

It never ceases to amaze me how accurate I normally am when I see a profile picture and think “Oh hell to the no”. I mean literally, looking at one photo and the hairs on my neck spring to attention and nudge me to press the next button.

Sure, you’re probably thinking that I may be missing out on some hidden opportunities by often relying on my he-ain’t-shit instincts, but honestly, my assumptions are normally pretty damn accurate.

Let’s say for instance a notification that someone viewed my profile or sent a message. I click on the handy dandy link and viola- I’m right there on the site.

Right there, in a nice little preview box is the potential candidate’s photo, profile name, age, location, and marital status along with a synopsis of their profile.

Okay, so I’m really scanning over the other information because it’s that photograph that I want to check out first, THEN if there aren’t any glaring details (such as married, lives in Paducah, Iowa, or is 19 years-old) I’ll mosey on over to the complete profile.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I’ve found there are some images that we may come across make you express your reactions in about 50 words or phrases, the most common being:

Oh shit. Wow. Damn. Hell no. Why. Seriously. What the hell. Hideous. Damn. Yuck. Haha. No he/she didn’t. Eew. What a joke. A mess. Here we go. Unbelievable. Ghetto. Tacky. Just terrible. Next. Another one. Look at him. I give up.

Case in point – This morning I received a little more than the normal notifications, so I clicked the link to view the guy.

My first reaction? Three simple words, what the hell??!!

Second reaction? This guy is a joke, why in the world would he make such an ugly face? Does he think that having himself resemble a contorted version of Busta Rhymes is a good look?

Third reaction? He’s a loser. So just to make sure I wasn’t completely off with my assumptions, I clicked to view other photos and saw him in a variety of poses and outfits including…. The infamous mirror shot with the damn wife beater t-shirt. Ugh I hate that men figure under attire is suitable for OUTER wear.

Yet still, not one to be too hasty, I went to view his profile and realized that (sadly), I was right on the money once again.

Feast your eyes on this actual message this guy has on his profile which screams broke, cheap, and tacky:

What goes on? Leave me a pic and some info. THIS IS MY PHONE! SAY IT OUT LOUD AND YOU GOT IT. : ate won ate tree fyi __ for sicks for too. It’s easier to tex.

I don’t have an account so I can’t view messages or flirts. I promise I’m not a stalker, if you have a question or just have something on your mind hit me up. I’m a big fan of communication. 

I’m here to make new friends. I like to hang out, go to clubs, bars, drink, text, chat or conversate by phone, basically just have a good time. 

It took me a minute to realize how he was working the online dating system, then I realized he spelled out his phone number, ebonically.

Wow.

Hey MeSoSingle – I TOLD you as soon as I took that first look at the photo, this one was an immediate deletion.

Next time, we’re going to bet money that I’m right!

I guess that invisible crew behind the scenes checking profiles and photos BEFORE you post either slipped or missed this one.

Until there’s a cure…

Please, someone save me!!!

Carmen Jones

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences! I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land. This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....". If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy! Carmen

3 Comments

  • traci

    My, how very clever lol ….. shaking my head. Sighhhh, there has to be something better out there. It’s good that you can still laugh about these losers. Nothing much more to say, just wanted you to know I’m rooting for you Carmen!

  • Kendall

    Come on now, are you kidding me C? These web sites cost what, $20 or $30 per month and men don’t even want to invest that small amount???

    You already know what you’ve got coming to you if deciding to even respond to someone like this.

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