I haven’t even had a chance to post the second part of the Broke Boo experience, nor have I been able to give a snippet of the datemare with Anger Management dude. Still, I must share this example in sheer stupidity and/or desperation.
Coming across as the desperately seeking single acting as if you found the last slice of bread on earth is not a good look. Yet sadly, I’m witnessing the types of behaviors that scream lonely, pesky, and creepy all at once.
Get a clue already!
The absence of online etiquette – no, how about plain old common sense is amazing. Be it a subliminal message or direct indication that someone is NOT interested in you, take it and move on.
If I have not responded OR
the trail of communication went cold like an unsolved mystery, that wasn’t by accident. It means there was something about our exchange that turned me off, or perhaps I just wasn’t interested. But to continue to message me, trying to force your reasons why I NEED to be in contact with you isn’t cool, not even a little bit. The time is now to realize when to be persistent and when to let go.
Do I have any real examples before I tell you about Big Daddy? Absolutely!
– I’ve told the handsome 30 year-old real estate broker from Chicago, that while I’m sure he would treat me better than any “Impostor of a man could”, I wasn’t interested in carrying on a long distance anything. He continued to message his appeals three other times.
– I asked the 48 year-old if my eyes were deceiving me when I read he was in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He replied that my eyes were fine, but that my options should be kept open and that I better realize how difficult it is to find a good man. This guy then sent FOUR other messages, listing the reasons I would want to communicate with him and work towards something
These are just a few of the more recent examples, but sometimes I am completely inundated with messages.
On a good day, I will politely respond to these men and let them know if I don’t feel we are a good match, wish them luck and keep it pushing. About 85% of them get it, the other 5% either come back with another reply immediately asking if we could be friends, message or send some silly flirt or photo rating a few weeks later (changing their profile picture to try throwing me off), or just act stupid.
That leaves 10% who are just stupid and here’s where Big Daddy (actual screen name)comes in.
He is a 50 year old male (my search range is 29-45), divorced with 4 children, has a boring profile (I like movies, eating and working out- that’s it!), and does NOT have a profile picture posted (a definite no-no). There was absolutely no reason for me to respond to any of the following messages he has sent:
6/8/12 – “I like a woman who is self-confident and knows what she wants. If you like a man who knows who he is and what he wants, call me at 555-1212.”
NO REPLY from me.
7/5/12 – “Hey gorgeous, your photos are fantastic. I would like to get to know you.”
NO REPLY from me.
8/3/12 – “Third Attempt; please call me.”
8/22/12 – “NO WAY”. I AM SORRY BUT BASED ON THE FACT THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO CONTACT YOU NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY, I SAY “NO WAY” DOES SHE EXIST. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF! TALK TO ME!!”
Seriously? All caps?
I can be a bit sharp with the tongue and was trying to ignore yet another message from Big Daddy, but that inner bitch kept telling me what I had to do. Here’s my reply to him and I’ll end my rant about stupid shit that men do here:
Re: NO WAY
Good afternoon to you,
It was no accident that I have not responded to your attempts to communication, and to be quite honest, it was intentional for several reasons.
For one, you have no photos of yourself so not only am I at a disadvantage not knowing if Big Daddy means Big Daddy or BIIIIIIGGGGGGG Daddy. Also, the absence of a photo raises suspicion. Why would you take 20 minutes to set up a profile, and not spare 2 minutes to snap a picture?
Secondly, I’m afraid my comfort zone for dating ages stops at about 45, that’s five years younger than you.
Lastly, at what point would you realize that a woman was not interested after not replying by the SECOND message??
I appreciate you taking time to view my profile, good luck with your search.
See, that wasn’t so bad and perhaps I’ve done the single dating world some justice, letting this desperate know how his actions are a turn OFF.
Cupid -stop playing with me.
Until there’s a cure for the hangovers…
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