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In a Good Place

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My search for a new home and a decent man seem to have a few things in common, since both have to do with distance and quality.  I’m now entering into month two of trying to find a place that isn’t a piece of crap being sold at a premium price or one that isn’t so far out into the boondocks that I wouldn’t really have time to enjoy it.

Let’s face it – buying a home is a huge commitment which should be done after careful thinking and while I have somewhat of a pie-in-the-sky dream of what I would like and the area, short inventory and quality are two things that have reality slapping me in the face.  The same concept should be applied when considering prospects for a potential relationship.  Now this same desire for quality applies to my men and surprisingly now that I have stepped out of the normal physical boundaries, there are now two good prospects that ordinarily would never have made it past a few online messages.

The first place ribbon quite naturally goes to Out of Sight, a man who I looked forward to hearing his voice every day who has piqued my imagination, encouraged me to push harder and go further in life, and stimulated my libido in so many ways.Aside from a few flaws, he’s truly a prototype for the perfect man and if we ever got to the point of a relationship would make for an exciting and sometimes challenging, but purposeful experience.

Saying that I can’t wait for these next two weeks when he becomes a resident of California again is an understatement, because I’m still replaying that short time together when he was recently here. The meeting went very well and we had the type of chemistry that most people have yet to experience; none of that awkwardness, we were relaxed with each other and just able to be open and comfortable.  To me, it felt like a get together with an old friend and lover all at the same time and since I omitted a few details let me just say this – he is fabulously blessed in all the right areas.

While all of this sounds fine and dandy with Out of Sight, the fact that he is rolling with the “no expectations, whatever happens happens though I really want…” mantra and encouraging me to continue dating, common sense is saying this is for a reason.  A good of mine agreed with his reasoning for saying this, since a lot of times we get so caught up in the expectations that any disappointments seem far greater should something go awry.  She said “everyone may be trying to get to the finish line, but some may take a different direction than others.”

Yeah, okay but I think he may be saying this to keep his options open – leaving from the dull Midwest and returning to the land of exotic beauties and exciting nightlife would surely seem appealing to any man, so this is probably his way of communicating this to me.

It’s cool, we’ll do things his way and if he’s confident enough that by the time his “no expectations” turn into “this woman is amazing, this is what I want and need”, this hot piece of property will still be for sale, only time will tell.  That dating profile is still up until he tells me and SHOWS me that he’s interested in more than just interacting with an “amazing woman”.

Meanwhile…There’s a runner up who lives quite a ways away in the same city as that maniacal asshole, Bullet.  He isn’t stepping to me with the wait and see approach like Out of Sight and instead has made it very clear that he is interested in me adding that I seem to have everything that he would want in a woman, willing to invest more time to work on getting out of the singles game. So the distance really isn’t that bad, but anyone who has made the commute to the Inland Empire knows that the traffic will make you want to jump out and leave your car in the middle of the freeway and walk instead.  I’ll call him Island Boy though he really reminds me so much of Pharrell Williams

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His stature, demeanor, and quick wit reminds me of this fashionable hip hop artist with his charismatic personality.Thankfully, his body isn’t as boyish since he’s very athletic with these amazing legs and thighs worthy of a quick rub down or even a lick or two, but don’t worry- I haven’t touched him or plan to go beyond a few pecks.   He also looks the part of a clean cut, glasses-wearing corporate hottie and is in a ridiculously boring line of work – accounting.

Last night we had our second date when we met up for dinner, drinks and enjoyed live music and thankfully just as with our first meeting, Island Boy is definitely not boring and instead is quite lively.  What really makes him attractive to me is his mind, he seems to know plenty about nearly everything.  From the arts to different genres of music (dance hall being his favorite) to American Girl dolls to TED conventions to Sarbanes-Oxley.

The man is an intellect, can articulate flawlessly and still believes in old-fashioned chivalry making sure he is accommodating as much as possible whenever we meet up.  Island Boy has all of the other great qualities and enjoys a lot of the same things as I do and is definitely someone I could see myself dating long-term. Admittedly, I nearly missed this good times train because I was ready to knock him off the tracks based on where he lived and the baggage factor (divorced with three kids and a not-so-amicable relationship with the ex-wife), but decided to give him a chance.  So far, there are no regrets and we’re already making plans to get together more often and venture out to experience different things together starting with the Playboy Jazz Festival.Being asked “I would love to take you, would you be my date” was so cute to me and is a reminder that there are still some good ones out there who know how to court a woman.

So there you have it; my quest for a nice home continues as does my quest for someone worthy of me.  I’m in a good place right now, enjoying these newness and looking forward to more of the good experiences in dating.

Until there’s a cure for the dating hangovers….

Carmen Jones

Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences! I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land. This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....". If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy! Carmen

2 Comments

  • 1_Silver Fox

    Fingers crossed you land a prime piece of property and hopefully you continue to follow the lead instead of what so many women end up doing- trying to lead and getting nowhere.

    As for the baggage issue, we all have a past. What matters is how we handle it and if we’re working towards a future.

  • Nicole C.

    Being in a happy place with dating is hard to come by, so if you’ve figured out a way, good for you. But what happens if you have two or three going at once and end up developing feelings for each one?

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