Online Dating, Plenty of Fail

This Week in Dating Fuckery

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It’s been a long week for me and today is only Tuesday,  so I welcomed a little break with a few dating site messages.

Things started off kind of odd with this dude because his first message said “Hello,  you are very beautiful so I had to message.   I read your profile carefully and no one is perfect.”

What the hell?  Who’s looking for perfection?? I just make it pretty darn clear with this newly reactivated profile that my threshold for bullshit is negative zero.

I reply something simple and this dude asks me how my day was and if I was headed home.  I said not yet and returned the question asking if his day was ending well, and here’s how HE responds:

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Incarcerated.  Really man, what the hell are you messaging me for??  Do I strike you as the one who’ll readily put $20 on your books?

Like my girl MeSoSingle said, why are prisoners privy to so many benefits like the Internet and online dating at that.

Of course, I’ll try to find the humor in situations like this so for shits and giggles, I went back to view his profile again. 

Wouldn’t you know, he listed his hobbies as:  weight lifting,  basketball, drawing.  Yep, everything there except making license plates and jogging alongside the fence.

I can’t make up this shit if I tried.

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

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