For the first time in the years I’ve been writing this blog, a post was sent out loaded with Spam content including everything from naughty messages to Cialis recommendations. Could it be purely coincidental since “erectile dysfunction” was one of the tagged phrases? I don’t know but apologize profusely for any confusion. While there were quite a few dirty birds who were still able to read through the muddle, here’s the post again without the Spam:
I’ll just cut to the chase and say that this weekend was a bit of a whirlwind and no – this has nothing to do with that nice fella I went camping with a few weeks ago. That poor guy still remains stuck in that same zone after about three months now and although he was a perfect gentleman, treated me like royalty and loved that I got along so well with his group of friends, his status hasn’t elevated not one bit. Strictly platonic and even after sleeping in the same bed inside our tent he got nothing more than a kiss on the cheek. At least I tried and tried to feel something for him but I just can’t force the physical attraction felt for any man and as a woman, when we’ve made up our minds about who we’re having sex with and how soon, it will happen. In fact, just a few days earlier during the week as I sipped my key lime martini while chatting with a girlfriend I told her about my upcoming date, adding how it was time for some fresh meat so my mind was made up about how the date was going to end. I knew that he was a good guy on paper and really has his life together, but his purpose has been defined based on him only being in California until his kid finishes school. Sounds like a fling-material for sure so by Saturday that same friend received my update saying “Grrrrrrrreat date, sore pu$$y and tow yard”.
There’s a lot going on in that last sentence, right?
The date itself was exactly what we both expected because our conversations leading up to it told us so. We’re equally yoked. Smart, confident, focused, sarcastic, funny, stable, direct, and sexually charged. This guy is a straight shooter who loves to take charge and is willing and most importantly ABLE to afford life’s little luxuries. He is the type of person who knows a little bit about everything and even though I joked a few times that he was borderline cocky, his ability to keep me engaged each time we speak is a definite plus. If no one believes that how a man talks to you can be incredibly sexy, you heard it here and if he has a deep, soothing voice with crisp words of clarity, that is like the icing on a cake. Perhaps it’s the first date in months where I was actually attracted to the man on so many levels, or maybe it was the combination of alcohol and the booming beats at the bar we visited after dinner that had me so riled up. I can’t really put say what made me so hot and heavy but my little kitty was ready for some action. The way he stared at me from across the room with eyes that said he could just devour me was a turn on and when he would touch me ever so gently while guiding my pool stick for that perfect shot, I was turned on even more.
Suffice to say that when we made it back to his place, it was time to release a little tension. Now here’s where things get a little interesting and for the life of me, I absolutely love a man who has dick control and doesn’t reach his peak and need to release too soon though I understand sometimes it can happen if it’s just that good. On the other end of the spectrum is the man who takes a little while longer to get to the end which can be a little annoying to a woman but for the life of me – I have never ever ever been with a man like this whose appetite for sex and fellatio was continuous. Hours have passed by and my legs are aching from being pressed against my chest, which has caused my breathing to be a little shallower from the pressure, combined with multiple orgasms so everything just felt really sore. The only reason we actually took any periods of break is because I had tapped out and please believe it was enjoyable but damn – at what point does it become annoying when you’ve been going at it for so long? Especially for a woman. I told him where I could see a problem with us carrying on any further because intercourse seemed to be never ending for him (I even asked if he had popped a magic pill) but for me, I’m quite satisfied after about an hour in the same setting. Am I alone here or is there really such a thing as too much of a good thing?
Fortunately, the minute man has only frequented these sugar walls once or twice in my life but I know of far too many women who deal with this in their relationships and marriages. It sucks when you’re just getting started and the man is already done (the average length of sexual intercourse is about 5 minutes according to this article) but ladies should be careful what they ask for because the opposite end of the spectrum can be just as bad and anything beyond about 45 minutes at a time is crazy to me. Let me repeat – we were going at it for hours and while my juices are definitely flowing pretty well, just as with anything else the wetness doesn’t last forever and after a while marathon sex just becomes frustratingly painful. I think this woman sums up my feelings perfectly when this guy asks her what’s the problem and why she doesn’t like going a long time:
Because my internal organs are being repeatedly rammed with a nine inch long pole, and the outer bits get rubbed raw from simple stretching and chafing. I have extremely sensitive skin and a tiny vaginal opening, so even short sex sessions can leave me achy and feeling a little torn.
Here’s another comment on how marathon sex feels to women:
It’s not about how wet you can stay or how much lube you’re using so I think everyone gets sore after some time no matter of much lube you got. Imagine shoving something big up your nose that stretches out your nostril for a long time; Even if you had lube you would still get sore after a while.
Yes, that’s pretty much what I was feeling and a swollen and chaffed vagina serves neither of us any purpose. Just to think – it’s been one whole year since I’ve had a new sexual partner, there’s no fear of me getting emotionally attached to this one and he truly has it together making him an ideal to date for a while but his appetite may be too much. Hopefully he’s taken heed to our post-sex discussions and realizes that going on and on until the break of dawn isn’t the way to go for me. We’re going out again this weekend so we’ll see how things go and oh – about that tow yard? Well….when we finally gave the bed a break and I sent him to fetch my overnight bag, something told me there was a problem when he hadn’t returned after almost half an hour. It turns out that the area where he suggested my car stay parked was NOT an overnight parking spot so at some point between my first and last orgasm, my little red caboose was towed away. A few telephone calls later, several miles down the road and $350.00 out of his pocket later, I was on my merry little way with my hangover, achy thighs and chaffed lips.
All things considered, it was a good date.
Until there’s a cure…