Red Flags, Settling or Compromising?, THIS is Why I'm Single!, Uncategorized

But at Least She HAS a Man!

desperate

“Finally, I have met my soul mate. He is a true lover of the Lord, engages me in deep and thought-provoking conversations and compliments me constantly. Never have I had a man tell me how beautiful I am several times a day, not even my ex-husband and I can’t recall the last time I have ever felt so wanted by a man. Sure, he’s got a few minor things to work out but I’m not worried about any of that.”

Isn’t this lovely?

This was a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a co-worker who’s in her 50’s y as she gushed about how much in love she was with someone she stumbled on from Plenty of Fish. Of course after she shares the story with me and I’ve told her I was happy for her while wishing her luck for a positive and long-term experience, she turns and asks if there was a prospect in the works for me. I simply replied “No, and I’m okay with it right now” and then she tells me “Carmen, you better come down off of those high standards and expectations or you’re going to end up alone into your 50’s like I was…”

Certain situations require you to simply smile and walk away.

My standards seem incredibly unrealistic in her eyes, acting as if she’s just fallen in love with the most desirable man on earth.  Not only have I learned that she’s relaxed her standards by dealing with a man that is still married (been there, done that) – she also shared that he has a few other “things to work on”.

is acting like her catch is the best of the best because not only did I learn that he is still married, he has a few other “things to work on”:

Job?  Nope
Car? Nope
Own place?  Nope
Driver’s license?  Nope

Can someone really be so blindly in love that they don’t care about a person’s circumstances, even the inability to take care of their basic needs? It still confuses the hell out of me how men (and women are guilty of it as well) have their twisted little minds lying to them, making it okay to even think about dating. Sure, everyone deserves to find someone to make them happy and get a little love but how about getting your shit together first.

Being able to fulfill your own basic needs should be a given, if not a requirement before you even consider dating someone, shouldn’t it?  Okay, so life happens and your car could break down, you need to crash at your parent’s house for a little while or maybe that license lapsed but dating and being unemployed?  What’s even more interesting shocking to me is the mindset of some people who really believe that being unemployed AND actively trying to date is okay.  The guy writing this article even says being in this status is a good time to redefine yourself.  Really?

If this is what my “high” standards need to be reduced to, I’ll look at adopting about two or three  more cats and make sure I’ve got a slew of AA  batteries on stand-by for the rough times.

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

1 thought on “But at Least She HAS a Man!

  1. I think I should create a line of “girl, bye!” cards.

    In our world, basic ish like a job, car, etc. may be looked at as high standards (how idiotic), but I know it takes a certain level of desperation to “date” someone who has nothing to offer but some sweet nothings…and I do mean nothings…

    I won’t even get into that it’s bad enough he’s still married….geez

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