• Cheating,  Friends with Benefits,  Married Men

    Gotta Love Facebook!

    Ordinarily,  this type of post wouldn’t be anything worth giving a second glance to but there’s just one problem- it’s ME sharing this on a dating blog! You have to love it when Facebook makes suggestions about who to add and most times, it’s someone you would rather ignore.  Sometimes,  I might take a looksie to see what the person’s wall or photos says about how they’re living.  Last night,  the profile of a guy who’s been an occasional friend with benefits for a few years. Love the profile that is open to the world because in a matter of minutes, I saw that he was still in his high-visibility…

  • Bad First Dates,  Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Online Dating,  Plenty of Fail,  Red Flags,  Relationship 101,  Settling or Compromising?,  Single Parent Dating,  The Non Committal Man or Woman,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  Uncategorized,  When you're dating your ex

    A Year of Dating Hangovers

    One year.  365 days. 53 weeks.  Several template revisions, three “About Me” rewrites, many lessons learned. 118 posts.  1,071 comments.  Thousands of Spam messages.  Encounters with an estimated 26 men.  Total of 26 disappointments with men. Countless expletives.  Many headaches.  Several arguments.  One heartache.  Happy Blogoversary My Dating Hangovers! I’m not quite sure how to feel knowing an entire year has passed since I first entered the world of blogging.  Although I started this as a hobby of sorts, to get my feet wet in the realm of online journaling, at times I wondered if I kept knocking down the different men I had encountered to give me a reason to…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Uncategorized,  When you're dating your ex

    Did we make up or WHAT?

         “You really need to update the blog so your readers know this is what really happens when you’re dealing with relationship issues”.  I wouldn’t expect to hear something like this from a man, and especially not Special Agent but this is what he told me when I shared that there was a little more than “talking” when Rescue and I saw each other last week. Oh wait – I guess I should mention that I told Special Agent about this face to face.  While on my weekend getaway with the girls down in his neck of the woods, he drove up to the resort making it our second time…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  When you're dating your ex

    A Week of Revelations

                      A Week of Revelations “Only time will tell what happens with him or any of these other three OR any of the others I didn’t have time to mention here.”  I guess the most appropriate place to begin this post is by starting where I left off.  It’s been a little over a week since I last posted and other than the occasional feelings of disappointment, reasoning and a slew of other thoughts and random emotions, not much has really happened directly.  Meaning, I’ve finally taken my own advice of just sitting back and observing what is transpiring in my life…

  • Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Settling or Compromising?,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  When you're dating your ex

    A Tale of Four Men

    Blame the bastards at Hewlett Packard for my delays in posting!  Yes, my laptop is truly on its last leg and I haven’t been able to access the Internet in almost two weeks.  Of course there’s the back-up plan using the Blackberry tool but it’s just easier in front of a real computer to spew out these different thoughts going through my head. I hope you’re ready to read and are NOT reading from a cell phone; otherwise a carpal-tunnel like sensation will develop from scrolling. Let’s go! Currently, there are four men I’ve been in contact with.  Any real contenders for anything?  I’m not sure but from the sign…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  When you're dating your ex

    A new day

    Cost for an after hours locksmith- $84 Feeling okay the day after a break up-PRICELESS. Saturday was quite interesting. As I woke up and started preparing food for a potluck, I wondered about my plan of action. I was so over the “how come you won’t just talk to me” or the “your actions make no sense” and especially the “you say you need and love me but I don’t see it” type of conversations. These were pretty much common place for about a month with Rescue. I called our mutual friend as I was pulling out of the driveway and asked “is your buddy there?”, and once I heard…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  When you're dating your ex

    A few hours later…

    Great minds think alike! Esme, you’re so right. Fu#k these men with all of their issues. I decided at 2:25pm this afternoon that Rescue needs to be rescued. Pun intended. I told a friend a few weeks ago we need to stop dealing with these dog pound-caliber of men. Yes, I said dog pound. They’re cute, you want to cuddle them and even though they’re tattered and beat up from life events, some of us feel the need to rescue them. So last night, I accepted a last minute invitation to see a Foo Fighters concert with….. Tall Glass of Wine. And a great time was had by all! Until…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  When you're dating your ex

    Before the trip

    I just got my house key back from Rescue. The last message I’d sent was pretty stern as I said a little something like “I don’t want to talk to you” and “leave the car running, I’ll meet you at the door”. So there he was, looking as handsome as ever with a puppy dog look on his face to match mine, waiting with key in hand. Here’s how I envisioned things would go: Carmen stands with hands on hips in the door way, one eyebrow cocked in the air with a disgusted look. Rescue walks up and she says “my key”, quickly extends her right hand, gets the key…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  When you're dating your ex

    Phase 3- The “I don’t know how I feel” moment

    To say that this past week has been rough would be a gross understatement. I haven’t been shedding tears of “my relationship is crappy and pretty much over, but more “this whole wanting to be with someone is crappy”. Actually, I take that back – the crying has pretty much subsided and has been replaced with an attitude of indifference. Rescue has issues that need to be worked out and as much as he keeps trying to convince me that WE are okay, I beg to differ. Selfishness or love? Which is it when someone knows they’re not right for you OR need to work on themselves before trying to…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  When you're dating your ex

    Phase 2

    The crying, dry heaves and headaches and confusion that follows have subsided. I’ve have passed the “I don’t really want it to be over”, “perhaps we just need a break” and the “why do I feel so bad” stages. I’ll admit it here – Saturday and Sunday were more like pre-break up moments. I’d told Rescue I was “letting him go so he could work on himself” and based on the generic/normal type of calls and texting that followed, I learned my girlfriends were right- he didn’t get it. Rescue didn’t understand that those weren’t just words of support for his negligent, inconsistent and somewhat suspect absenteeism but instead, my…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  When you're dating your ex

    The word is OUT!

    All I’m saying is… It seems like the world got the memo about my relationship blues. I get a random text message from Mr. Jekyl (damn, I STILL have not shared the sordid details about that love affair turned Nightmare on Elm St.). Simply saying “Hi”. Don’t read any more into it. That IS his modus operandi – get you with a minimalistic approach then go in for the kills texting you to death asking why you can’t be friends. Then, I get an even more random “Hi there friend, long time no talk. How have you been? I miss my friend, hope we can meet up soon”. This was…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  Settling or Compromising?,  When you're dating your ex

    After all of that…

    I believe I am now a single woman. Again. After all of the drama, the divorce arguments, trying to convey communication vs incorrect assumptions, and learning to juggle things in life, I decided I can take no more. When I woke up yesterday (for like the 3rd time), I decided there is no hope for Rescue and me. Maybe there’s no hope for him, period. After all of enlightening feedback I received from Papa Bear, I thought we would be okay, being able to be strong enough to weather any storm. I apologized my part in having caused and strife and it was well received by Rescue but then he…

  • Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  When you're dating your ex

    “Of course, because you’re a WOMAN!”

    “You guys don’t get a lot of what men are trying to communicate or do so stop trying so hard to analyze everything”. Yes, this is what my dear friend named Papa Bear said to me last week. I’m a 36 year-old woman, of course I know there is normally a communication barrier between the sexes but this time, I think it finally sank in just how much. As tired and exasperated I was after what I shall affectionately dub as “the worst holiday weekend ever”, I wondered what else can I do. Rescue and I have pretty much done some major damage with our hiatus from seeing each other,…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  When you're dating your ex

    Part Deaux

      It has been eight days since Rescue and I had our latest "incident", seven days since we last saw each other, and six days since I apologized and two hours have passed since he and I had what I hope was the beginning of a break through conversation. Yes, I apologized and the reason why is simple:  Men and women think differently. This is by no means a statement that has never been heard before, but at that moment when I pulled over to the side of the road and inhaled, then exhaled before making my call to him I realized this was the gospel truth. Now before I go on…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  Relationship 101,  Settling or Compromising?,  When you're dating your ex

    He can blame himself in the end- Pt. 1

    So much has transpired since my update last weekend. Of course, my girls who have seen me know the details of all that went down with me and Rescue and for you others – read it here because I simply don’t have the energy to rehash it. That last line sounds like a state of defeat, doesn’t it? As of today (Saturday) night, I have to admit to myself that something went away within the last couple of days. Saying that I’m no longer in love with Rescue would be a lie BUT saying I’ve lost THAT feeling is completely true. You know what I’m talking about? I can’t really…