The Death of Dating

He didn’t have any standards,  so she kept lowering hers.

She stopped caring about making a good first impression, so he stopped taking a last look in the mirror before walking out the door.

She stopped requiring a phone call, and agreed to dares through a string of text messages .

We’re all guilty of ruining the dating scene- both men and women.

Interested in reading more about how we’ve gone from searching for the “right one” to someone “cool to hang with”, click here  to check out my guest post for Digital Romance.

Digital Romance is one of the best online resources for dating news and advice.

Carmen Jones

Respond, Ignore or Block?

You’re single and ready to mingle and haven’t had much luck meeting people the “regular” way, so off you go to the online dating site recommended by several friends.

The account is opened, you post your best photos and have a cleverly crafted “About Me” and now you wait for the messages.

What these well meaning friends failed to tell you is that not ALL messages warrant a response.

You can read my full post by heading over to Digital Romance.

Oh and in case you didn’t know, I’m a regular contributor to Digital Romance- one of the hottest digital sources for everything about dating and relationships.

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

Could this be the LONGEST one EVER?

There are always two extremes online: the master of minimalism type dude who is lazy or unimaginative and writes “Just ask”.  Then there’s this type that treats his dating profile like an autobiographical novel.

He lost me as soon as I saw all of THE CAPS and my scroll bar disappear.  Can someone read all of this shit and let me know if he’s a solid catch or something ? 

IM ______, AN INVENTOR FROM _______ NOW LIVING IN _______/_, CA. I’M A VERY ARTISTIC, OLD FASHIONED TYPE GUY WHO’S ALSO THE INVENTOR OF THE… (insert a whole paragraph HERE)

I LIVE BY STRICT RULES AND MORALS. I’M A VERY STRAIGHT FORWARD, COMPASSIONATE, LOVING AND MOODY GUY. CATCH ME ON A GOOD DAY YOU’LL GET AN ANGEL, ON BAD DAYS…YOU’LL GET A HELL RAISER. I’M JUST BEING REAL..LOL

I DON’T BELIEVE IN TRYING TO SELL MYSELF TO A BUNCH OF WEIRDOS ON A DATING SITE. I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT EVERYBODY, THERE,S A SELECT FEW ON HERE WHO KNOWS WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT…ANYWAY, BACK TO MY LIKES AND DISLIKES. I LOVE MUSIC, SPORTS AND ART. THE OLD SCHOOL MUSIC IS MY FAVORITE.

LADIES STOP ASSUMING THAT THE ATTRACTIVE GUYS ARE ALL PLAYAS. AND THE GUYS HAVE TO STOP ASSUMING THE HOT CHIX ARE LOOSE BOOTIES WITH A TON OF MEN. I JUDGE A PERSON BY THE WAY THEY DRESS. IF A WOMAN DRESSES LIKE A SLUT, SHOWING TOO MUCH SKIN IN HER PROFILE, SHE’S EITHER INSECURE (WANTING ATTENTION) OR SHE’S FAST. ALL OF MY PIX ARE DECENT, I’M NOT TRYING TO SELL SEX.

IN TRUTH THE MOST ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE ARE THE LONELIEST. THE MOST ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE CAN GET LAID A LITTLE EASIER THAN THE REST BUT THEY ARE USUALLY ALONE ON THE HOLIDAYS..LOL IN THE HEIGHT OF MY PLAYA DAYS WHILE IN MY 20’S I ONLY SPENT CHRISTMAS WITH A FEMALE ONCE! BUT ALL YEAR ROUND I HAD A BLAST….GO FIGURE. PLAYAS ARE NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY, THEY’RE CONSIDERED “PRETENDERS NOT CONTENDERS” THAT’S WHY THEY’RE ALWAYS ALONE ON THE HOLIDAYS WONDERING WHY NOBODY WANTS THEM. LADIES, IF YOU WANT MORE SUCCESS MEETING SERIOUS GUYS, CHANGE THAT “LONG TERM” TO “DATING, OR HANGING OUT” ALL SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS STARTS FROM TRUE FRIENDSHIP FIRST.

I KNOW SOME OF THE THINGS I WROTE IN THIS PROFILE MAY TURN SOME FEMALES OFF. BUT I’M NOT A MR. ROGERS TYPE GUY. I’M A TOTALLY HONEST REAL GUY. IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER WHAT A PERSON WRITE IN THEIR PROFILE, IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO CHEMISTRY IN PERSON. EVERYBODY ON HERE BASE THEIR INTEREST ON LOOKS FIRST, PROFILE SECOND, IF THEY HAVE CHEMISTRY IN PERSON IT’S ON! THAT’S WHY I PUT MORE EMPHASIS ON DISPLAYING ATTRACTIVE PIX. 

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FEMALES RESPONDED BACK TO ME WITH “I’M SORRY I’M NOT FEELING A CONNECTION” HOW DO YOU FEEL A CONNECTION BY READING A PROFILE? LOL WHAT THEY’RE REALLY SAYING IS “I DON’T DATE BLACKS OR I JUST DON’T LIKE YOUR LOOK”(BLACK) I CONSIDER MYSELF AN INTELLIGENT GUY WITH A GREAT PERSONALITY AND SENSE OF HUMOR. MY POINT IS…LOOKS, MATTER TO EVERYBODY ON THIS SITE INITIALLY. I ASKED EVERY FEMALE WHO I’VE MET OR CONVERSATED WITH WHY THEY RESPONDED TO ME, THEY ALL SAID “I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOOD LOOKING AND FUNNY” NOT ONE SAID “OH, I WANTED TO MEET YOU BECAUSE I LOVE THE WAY YOU TYPE OR BECAUSE OF YOUR BRAIN OR PERSONALITY…LOL

ONE THING I CAN’T STAND ARE THE FEMALES WHO ASK “ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ONLY SEX?” MY RESPONSE TO THAT IS “IF YOU DON’T HAVE A BRAIN WITH ZERO CONVERSATION, WHAT ELSE IS THEIR TO DO OTHER THAN HAVE SEX?” EVERYBODY ON THIS SITE WANTS TO GET LAID, EVEN ANIMALS WANNA GET LAID…LOL IF YOU DON’T WANT SEX PLEASE RAISE YOUR HANDS.

I’M SURE YOU LADIES MET PLENTY OF GUYS WHO WERE GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY BUT WERE DUMB AS HELL. MALES AND FEMALES WANT THE SAME THING, A PERSON WHO’S INTERESTED IN YOU MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY.

ANOTHER THING I CAN’T STAND IS A WOMAN WHO SAYS “I NEVER HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND” REALLY? LET’S EXPLORE THIS SHALL WE… IF YOU NEVER HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND THAT MEANS ALL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WERE SUCCESSFUL..MEANING YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE. THE “ONE NIGHT STAND” GET SUCH A BAD RAP, THE “ONE NIGHT STAND” IS ACTUALLY GOOD IF YOU HAVE COMMON SENSE AND GOOD JUDGEMENT. IF YOU MET A NICE GUY, DECIDED TO HAVE SEX THE FIRST NIGHT, AND WHILE HAVING SEX YOU NOTICE HIS WEENIE WAS TERRIBLY SMALL, WOULD YOU CONTINUE DATING THIS GUY? MY GUESS IS “HELL NO!”

THE MEN OF COURSE HAD MANY BAD EXPERIENCES WITH FEMALES WHO WE THOUGHT WERE THE ONE, BUT LATER FOUND OUT SHE WAS TERRIBLE IN BED OR GOD FORBID, HAD A TERRIBLE FOUL ODOR, OF COURSE WE WOULDN’T CALL HER BACK FOR A SECOND DATE.

ALSO IT’S IRRITATING WHEN I TRY TO ASK A WOMAN CERTAIN QUESTIONS PERTAINING TO SEX AND ROMANCE IN OUR FIRST CONVERSATION AND SHE REPSONDS WITH “I DON’T TALK ABOUT SEX ON OUR FIRST DATE” REALLY? WHY WAIT DAYS AND WEEKS TO FIND OUT IF A PERSON YOU’RE ATRACTED TO LIKES TO KISS OR NOT? IT’S BEST TO TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS EARLY SO YOU’RE NOT SURPRISED BY SOME WEIRD ADMISSION LATER LIKE “I DON’T FRENCH KISS, I ONLY HAVE MISSIONARY SEX, I HATE ORAL SEX” ETC.

YOU KNOW WHAT I NOTICED, IF YOU REMEMBER A LOT OF WHAT YOUR DATE SAID WHILE OUT WITH THEM, YOU DEFINITELY INTERESTED IN THAT PERSON. I WAS OUT ON AN 8 HOUR DATE WITH THIS TALKATIVE HOTTIE, I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN’T REMEMBER MUCH OF WHAT SHE SAID. I THOUGHT I WAS INTO HER. 

BUT I HAD A HARD TIME RETAINING HER INFORMATION. BUT WITH OTHER FEMALES I COULD REMEMBER ALMOST EVERYTHING THEY SAID. JUST TODAY A WOMAN CALLED ME, WELL I THOUGHT SHE WAS CALLING ME, THE BIMBO HAD THE NERVE TO SAY “HEY, IS THIS JAMES?) I SAID “WHO IN THE HELL IS JAMES?) I IMMEDIATELY DELETED HER ASS. CALLING ME BY SOMEBODY ELSE’S NAME IS A DEFINITE NO! NO! BOTTOM LINE…RETAINING INFO=INTERESTED… NOT RETAINING INFO LIKE NAMES=NOT INTERESTED!

PEOPLE ARE SO FUNNY TO ME…I LIKE TO SIT OUT SOMEWHERE AND JUST WATCH PEOPLE IN ACTION, THAT’S THE FUNNIEST sh*tIN THE WORLD.

This dude wonders why women aren’t receptive to his profile or his messages, when he’s got 10,000 reasons right here.

I just can’t.

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

Types of Men to Avoid When Dating 

Years ago when people actually read email forwards, I remember one that had been circulated quite a few times.  It was called the 12 types of men and while it was really targeted a more”urban” audience with its references to thugs and baby daddies, but still had a few on there that everyone could relate to.

Having become a seasoned dater, I can honestly say that I’ve probably dated every type of man there is – both  good and bad.  

While it’s true there’s no such thing as perfection with anyone,  there are definitely certain types that can drive you bat shit crazy or close to it.

You’ve read about many of them here from Special Agent, to Good on Paper and if course there are the nondescript types like Papi. 

For more on the types of men women should avoid, head on over to Digital Romance and check out the full article!

https://digitalromanceinc.com/dating/5-types-of-men-avoid-like-plague/

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones 

When The Texts Stop Coming

2016-08-18_19.07.40I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been in a situation where we met someone new, exchanged numbers and after a few text messages, felt like things may be going in the right direction.  But then the communication starts changing a little bit or those texts stop altogether, leaving you wondering what went wrong and I’m sorry fellas – the men are normally on the receiving end of this confusion.

But have you ever wondered what you may have sent that may have turned a woman off?

I’ve got a couple of reasons to explain why we stop responding to text messages, so head on over to Digital Romance to check out my latest article.

Until there’s a cure for the hangovers…

Carmen Jones

Profile photos men shouldn’t share

On and off, hide and reveal, resign and restart.  The vicious cycle known as online dating and for the life of me, I just don’t understand how men can continue to sabotage themselves by ruining the most important part of the process – the dating profile and specifically, the photos.

Do these men not realize that they can turn a woman all the way on by what he’s sharing in his profile and just the same, can turn us off completely by choosing the lazy, cheesy and sleazy photos like this debonair fella right here:

20160620_213255

Yes, this is an actual photo from someone’s profile and yes – he looks like a teenager and made me feel like a pedophile for viewing it and yes – you’re welcome for the red box editing to spare you the unruly hairs and extreme shrinkage.

If only I could be the fairy godmother of dating and tell these clueless gents what NOT to do but for now, you can check out my post written for Digital Romance, Inc.,  5 Photos Men Need to Stop Posting Online.

Digital Romance, Inc is the premier source for using the power of technology to get the best dating advice articles, podcasts and videos delivered at the tap of a button.

Until there’s a cure for the dating hangovers…

Carmen Jones

 

5 Things Women Want in a Man

what women want

Someone new reached out to me over the weekend online and sent this:

I know there’s  less than a snowball chance in hell that you will even respond to this message, but sending it anyway.

Your profile is well written and you’re photos are great,  depicting a woman who’s  at the tip of her game. Yet you’re  single (presumably) and online.

This might be out of line, but I’m guessing you’re still single because you’re looking for that perfect guy  on your carefully crafted list of about 101 different things.

But maybe… just maybe I’m wrong and if so, you’ll respond and we’ll end up riding off into the sunset.

Just hoping I’m  at least I’m the top 10.  Hope to hear from you soon.

Interesting opening message and I’m case you’re wondering what in the world I’m saying in my profile, let me assure you – nothing that prompts this kind of reply.

In fact, it’s been edited to just the basics: I’m single, have a cat, enjoy photography and blogging and looking to date.

That’s all.

But the strikes a chord with me. There are so many people (women included) who believe there’s this ridiculously long complex list of requirements singles require.  Not true, not even  a little bit so I put together 5 things a woman really wants in a man.

You can check it out on Digitalromance!

https://digitalromanceinc.com/dating/women-want-in-a-man-5-things-simple/

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

About Digital Romance:

Digital Romance, Inc., is the premier resource offering some of the best advice on dating and relationships.