Program Change 

While contemplating my next move with Jon B, I’m realizing that aside from him being cute and seemingly good on paper, we really don’t have that much in common or at least nothing else that I can tell because he doesn’t talk about much.  

Sure, we both enjoy eating and indulging in cocktails, but other than that I only know that he’s hustling to expand his business, takes a lot of naps and feels slighted that his daughter isn’t too interested in his Skyping calls. That’s it – just the surface and superficial stuff.

So as I’m telling a friend about his latest radio silent act like, she silence me the most perfect suggestion:

“You need to take him off the boyfriend program and put him on the fuck boy program.  Treat him like he’s here to pass the time.”

This dude will consume several days in a row if I allowed him to and as much as I’m enjoying his company, everything seems to be on his terms and timeline which isn’t cool and another friend says I need to stop making myself so available.  

But isn’t that kind of like playing games?  If you are available and have nothing else to do, you should say no every once in a while so the other person thinks you’ve got other things going on?

Here’s what I don’t like: he responds to text messages and phone calls when he’s good and damn ready and if I’m trying to plan something in advance, he doesn’t get back until the last minute with a counteroffer. 

I don’t like being ignored because actions like this remind me of one or two hangovers from my past.  Seeing as how the average person is staring at their phone countless hours a day, it’s inconceivable that ten seconds can’t be taken to tap out a reply.  

I know this for a fact because I just did the same thing to another guy.  

He texted me at 10:29am and I saw my phone light up within a few minutes and could have replied with a simple “Hey, good
morning…Already working but we’ll chat later”, but I didn’t want to.  He’s nice and but I’m not feeling him at and figured responding too quickly would give him false hopes, so I would just respond later.  I didn’t respond until this afternoon.

See how this shit works?

Dealing with another one of those super busy and forgetful guys isn’t an appealing option, and neither is the possibility that he’s curving me so I asked him again if he wanted to become a fuck buddy and he’s saying no.  

His actions are telling me otherwise so I’ll give him a week or so, if that.

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

 

 

 

Down with the Swirl- Part 2

So it’s been a few weeks of this swirling dating adventure with Jon B and I have a few observations to report.

No, not THE actual  R&B crooner hottie himself but as much as the new guy hates being told, that’s exactly who he favors.

😍😍😍😍😍

The Look a Like and I met on a Wednesday, went out that Friday, Saturday AND again that Sunday.  Repeat the following week and again.  What does this mean? Hell, I don’t know. We’re either mildly interested in each other OR we’re just looking for time fillers.

I haven’t been able to get a solid reading on the Look a Like, but I’m guessing he may be nothing more than another fuck boy.  He doesn’t ask any questions about my dating habits, so I’m not going there either.

Okay, now my observations in no particular order, and absence of any real logic:

1.  I’m happy to be stepping outside of my norm and comfort zone.

2.  Guys with an eclectic and artsy flair are so damn hot, especially if they are musicians.

3.  I’m elated and surprised to have met a non-black man who can make my panties moist just by kissing me on my neck.

4.  Most men are the same, regardless of race.

5.  Music is everything and sharing a common interest and passion is amazing.

6.  Most men are the same, regardless of race and do the same stupid shit.

7.  I’ve felt awkward on more than one  occasion when receiving the “look” from black men and women while out with my new friend.

8.  He is very comfortable dating black women, I’m the one feeling like a traitor.

9.  All men have a certain amount of communication blockage, regardless of race.

10.  Not every non-black man has a pink tip.

11.  I still feel strongly about pets in or near beds.

12. A man with his life together is everything!!!!!!!!

This story is still developing and can have a different update next week, or you’ll see me posting this:

20160927_211210

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

Types of Men to Avoid When Dating 

Years ago when people actually read email forwards, I remember one that had been circulated quite a few times.  It was called the 12 types of men and while it was really targeted a more”urban” audience with its references to thugs and baby daddies, but still had a few on there that everyone could relate to.

Having become a seasoned dater, I can honestly say that I’ve probably dated every type of man there is – both  good and bad.  

While it’s true there’s no such thing as perfection with anyone,  there are definitely certain types that can drive you bat shit crazy or close to it.

You’ve read about many of them here from Special Agent, to Good on Paper and if course there are the nondescript types like Papi. 

For more on the types of men women should avoid, head on over to Digital Romance and check out the full article!

https://digitalromanceinc.com/dating/5-types-of-men-avoid-like-plague/

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones 

Down with the Swirl

Everything about this latest situation is different. 

I woke up this morning to both dogs at the foot of the bed; Thelma on his side and Louise on my side.  Every now and then, feeling each one turning around head as if to make sure we’re in our spot.

After snapping the photo of our guardians, I turned over to study the intricate design of his tatted back.  I love the way his olive skin tone allows each detail to pop.

Oh yes, I said olive.

I said this was different; it’s my first time swirling while dating and I like it.

We all know I’ve had plenty of success stories and this blog tells you how those all ended.

No expectations here, but can I at least hope for no more disappointments?

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

When The Texts Stop Coming

2016-08-18_19.07.40I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been in a situation where we met someone new, exchanged numbers and after a few text messages, felt like things may be going in the right direction.  But then the communication starts changing a little bit or those texts stop altogether, leaving you wondering what went wrong and I’m sorry fellas – the men are normally on the receiving end of this confusion.

But have you ever wondered what you may have sent that may have turned a woman off?

I’ve got a couple of reasons to explain why we stop responding to text messages, so head on over to Digital Romance to check out my latest article.

Until there’s a cure for the hangovers…

Carmen Jones

Can Incompatibility Be The Problem?

He’s giving me that look again, rubbing on my leg and talking dirty to me.  I know what he wants and don’t know if I can stomach another round with him. In fact, the last time I almost reached towards the nightstand to get B.O.B. and this was while we were having sex.

I have been fortunate enough to have had some marvelous sexual conquests in my life. However just the same, there have been a few men who have fallen short (pun intended) in the bedroom and if this was just someone I was having a little fun with, I would chop it up as a loss and move on.  But when the sex isn’t so great with someone you really care for, in a relationship with or even married to, it’s a very big deal.

If you have ever found yourself being sexually frustrated or even repulsed at the thought of being intimate with someone, go on over to Digital Romance, Inc.* and check out my Guest Post about sexual compatibility:  https://digitalromanceinc.com/romance/sexual-incompatibility-putting-strain-relationship/

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

 

*Digital Romance, Inc., one of the best sites for dating and relationship advice.

5 Things Women Want in a Man

what women want

Someone new reached out to me over the weekend online and sent this:

I know there’s  less than a snowball chance in hell that you will even respond to this message, but sending it anyway.

Your profile is well written and you’re photos are great,  depicting a woman who’s  at the tip of her game. Yet you’re  single (presumably) and online.

This might be out of line, but I’m guessing you’re still single because you’re looking for that perfect guy  on your carefully crafted list of about 101 different things.

But maybe… just maybe I’m wrong and if so, you’ll respond and we’ll end up riding off into the sunset.

Just hoping I’m  at least I’m the top 10.  Hope to hear from you soon.

Interesting opening message and I’m case you’re wondering what in the world I’m saying in my profile, let me assure you – nothing that prompts this kind of reply.

In fact, it’s been edited to just the basics: I’m single, have a cat, enjoy photography and blogging and looking to date.

That’s all.

But the strikes a chord with me. There are so many people (women included) who believe there’s this ridiculously long complex list of requirements singles require.  Not true, not even  a little bit so I put together 5 things a woman really wants in a man.

You can check it out on Digitalromance!

https://digitalromanceinc.com/dating/women-want-in-a-man-5-things-simple/

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

About Digital Romance:

Digital Romance, Inc., is the premier resource offering some of the best advice on dating and relationships.