• Dating over 40,  Dumb Shit Guys Do,  My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  The Non Committal Man or Woman

    Reappearing Act Gone Wrong

    It’s amazing how men think they can just disappear and pop back into your life like it’s nothing.  But this hangover thought wrong and caught me on the sober end of taco Tuesday. Grab your headphones and get ready to LISTEN to a raw and UNEDITED explanation of why I sent that venomous text in my last post. This is my first time trying a podcast style post, so don’t judge me. I was pissed. Take a listen:  https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9Z8h58LxeVOWXFfSmRHWTNkazg/view?usp=drivesdk Until there’s a cure… Carmen Jones

  • Dating over 40,  Interracial Dating,  Online Dating,  Red Flags,  Settling or Compromising?,  Understanding Men,  What Women Want

    Program Change 

    While contemplating my next move with Jon B, I’m realizing that aside from him being cute and seemingly good on paper, we really don’t have that much in common or at least nothing else that I can tell because he doesn’t talk about much.   Sure, we both enjoy eating and indulging in cocktails, but other than that I only know that he’s hustling to expand his business, takes a lot of naps and feels slighted that his daughter isn’t too interested in his Skyping calls. That’s it – just the surface and superficial stuff. So as I’m telling a friend about his latest radio silent act like, she silence me the most perfect suggestion: “You need…

  • Mental Illness,  Red Flags

    Don’t Ignore the Signs

    It saddens me to hear about yet another relationship gone terribly wrong.  In case you haven’t heard the latest news, rapper Earl Hayes who was once signed to Floyd Mayweather’s record label decided to take a tragically different approach to reconciliation by shooting his wife and star of VH1’s reality show Hit the Floor, Stephanie Moseley, then taking his own life in an apparent murder-suicide. While we will never know exactly what took place in the moments leading up to this tragic event on the morning of Monday December 8th, it seems as if Stephanie may have been in the dark about how bad things really were between them since she had just…

  • Bad First Dates,  Online Dating,  Red Flags,  Slider Posts,  Uncategorized

    Anna Mae, Eat the Cake!

    This post is dedicated to any woman who thought she was being too picky, said no too quickly or even said these dreaded “may as well” when going out with someone she should have ignored and deleted.   It’s going to be a long one, so grab your coffee and take a seat. On the surface, this one hangover seemed like a pretty decent catch.  He’s educated, is a homeowner,  and has been pretty successful in a career as a social worker for over ten years.  The bonus was that he decided not to operate as if he was a sperm bank and only had one child of wedlock.  The man…

  • Red Flags,  Settling or Compromising?,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  Uncategorized

    But at Least She HAS a Man!

    “Finally, I have met my soul mate. He is a true lover of the Lord, engages me in deep and thought-provoking conversations and compliments me constantly. Never have I had a man tell me how beautiful I am several times a day, not even my ex-husband and I can’t recall the last time I have ever felt so wanted by a man. Sure, he’s got a few minor things to work out but I’m not worried about any of that.” Isn’t this lovely? This was a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a co-worker who’s in her 50’s y as she gushed about how much in love she…

  • Red Flags

    It’s an Epidemic!

    A few weeks ago I was enjoying lunch with a group of friends.  One says she couldn’t understand why a beautiful woman who was also classy, smart and well-rounded could be single.  So very, very single.  She hears some of the stories but doesn’t know the full extent of the dating nightmares. Another friend sat quietly and then said how she couldn’t wait until the right caliber of man, with HIS shit together came around.  She is a follower of the blog and knows of all the gritty, behind the scenes stories. The screenshot above was snagged from a Facebook post the night before last and not surprisingly, the woman…

  • Red Flags

    Is This What I Wanted?

    For anyone out there who thinks the best way to get over someone is to meet someone new, two fist pumps in the air to you because I think it’s a bad idea.  Several of my girlfriends have done this even though I have always suggested otherwise because they don’t realize that if you’re still licking wounds from that last situation do you really think you’re a good candidate for the next guy?  Besides all of your issues what about the poor unsuspecting sap who will have no idea why you start showing some unappealing traits after a couple conversations and dates. Each person is different so it may take a shorter period…

  • My Dating Hangovers,  Plenty of Fail,  Red Flags,  The Non Committal Man or Woman

    The Representative

    Sometimes I really wished my levels of perception were dialed down from a level 10 to maybe a 2. Maybe if my instincts about certain situations with these hangovers weren’t so on point, then perhaps I wouldn’t be struggling so much in trying to find my guy.  Translation – I should either ignore a lot of shit and be as naïve as a lot of women and just suck it up.   The problem is that the thought of doing this aches me to the core of my soul, because it just isn’t in me to ignore the obvious. I guess th is all means the man I’m supposed to be with…

  • Red Flags

    The Rebound

    Wikipedia defines a rebound in terms of basketball as the act of successfully gaining possession of the basketball after a missed field goal or free throw.Rebounds in basketball are a routine part in the game, as all possessions change after a shot is successfully made. Now what if I took that same meaning and applied my own little touches to it might apply to dating: A rebound in dating is the act of successfully gaining possession of the emotions, thoughts and sometimes your heart after a failed relationship or prospect of one. Rebounds in dating are a routine part in the dating game, as many men and women believe those strong feelings change after a few interactions with someone new…

  • Friends with Benefits,  Red Flags,  Settling or Compromising?,  The Non Committal Man or Woman

    Situationville

    How many of you can relate to that title?  One simple word that basically means you are involved in one of those situations that really should NOT exist.You’re dealing with a man or woman, but there is no commitment, no relationship exists.   He or she is more than a friend, but more significant than a friends with benefits.  The two of you have a real connection, strong feelings and passion. Yet still, you’re undefined and technically unattached to each other. It’s funny how many people, especially men seem to think that a commitment is all about a title when it is so much more.  So instead of moving on to something new there are…

  • Red Flags,  Settling or Compromising?

    A Few Pounds Too Much

    It’s always hard to let someone know there’s something major missing in the likeness department when they are really nice, because no one wants to get their feelings hurt for I’ve been trying to decide how to handle this situation with Showtime.  There hasn’t been much shared about him here since our initial meet-up and the planning of our first date but we’ve actually seen each other several times since. There always seems to be some issue when it comes to dating, right? For me, it’s either been the player who wants to have his cake and eat it, me and three other women too, the life changer with no…

  • Red Flags,  The Non Committal Man or Woman

    Why Are You Single?

    “…I can’t understand how a woman like you could be single, you are amazing…” is what Out of Sight said quite a few times earlier on during our friendship/situation and I would always jokingly reply “It’s possible because and I am truly a good catch, but  I keep meeting assholes with too much personal baggage who aren’t ready and I have to let them go”. What I told him is so sad but  true because in nearly every instance where I meet someone and we begin the process of getting to know one another, we get derailed because of something the man is going through, he needs to work through his shit…

  • Online Dating,  Red Flags

    Return to Sender?

    The man I have been getting to know while he planned a major life changing move back to Southern California has arrived and he made sure I was on the list of things to do the same day his plane touched down.  Sunday afternoon seemed to make all of the waiting and anticipation worth it, and thankfully that same chemistry and good-feeling vibes experienced over the telephone these last couple of months seemed worth it. After over 10-years of being gone, being married and starting a family in the mid-west, Out of Sight is a resident once again. Yet just like that item  you recently purchased where you’re not so sure it…

  • My Dating Hangovers,  Online Dating,  Red Flags,  THIS is Why I'm Single!

    Enron

      As of a few moments ago, I just canceled my second date with Enron only he doesn’t know it yet. You’ll notice that this post doesn’t have a title because hell, I’m a little conflicted on what it should be. While I always said the direct approach is the best way of letting someone know you’re not interested, I may have to do a gradual phase out of this one. Let me just say that Enron is an amazingly interesting man. He had my mind enthralled with his initial message to me, and after the second reply something struck me that said “These words are too good to be…