• Dating over 40,  Interracial Dating,  Online Dating,  Red Flags,  Settling or Compromising?,  Understanding Men,  What Women Want

    Program Change 

    While contemplating my next move with Jon B, I’m realizing that aside from him being cute and seemingly good on paper, we really don’t have that much in common or at least nothing else that I can tell because he doesn’t talk about much.   Sure, we both enjoy eating and indulging in cocktails, but other than that I only know that he’s hustling to expand his business, takes a lot of naps and feels slighted that his daughter isn’t too interested in his Skyping calls. That’s it – just the surface and superficial stuff. So as I’m telling a friend about his latest radio silent act like, she silence me the most perfect suggestion: “You need…

  • Dating over 40,  Dating While Black (DWB),  Friends with Benefits,  Interracial Dating,  Swirling (Interracial Dating),  What Women Want

    Down with the Swirl- Part 2

    So it’s been a few weeks of this swirling dating adventure with Jon B and I have a few observations to report. No, not THE actual  R&B crooner hottie himself but as much as the new guy hates being told, that’s exactly who he favors. 😍😍😍😍😍 The Look a Like and I met on a Wednesday, went out that Friday, Saturday AND again that Sunday.  Repeat the following week and again.  What does this mean? Hell, I don’t know. We’re either mildly interested in each other OR we’re just looking for time fillers. I haven’t been able to get a solid reading on the Look a Like, but I’m guessing…

  • Dating over 40,  Interracial Dating,  Online Dating,  Swirling (Interracial Dating),  What Women Want

    Down with the Swirl

    Everything about this latest situation is different.  I woke up this morning to both dogs at the foot of the bed; Thelma on his side and Louise on my side.  Every now and then, feeling each one turning around head as if to make sure we’re in our spot. After snapping the photo of our guardians, I turned over to study the intricate design of his tatted back.  I love the way his olive skin tone allows each detail to pop. Oh yes, I said olive. I said this was different; it’s my first time swirling while dating and I like it. We all know I’ve had plenty of success…

  • Dating While Black (DWB),  Dumb Shit Guys Do,  Interracial Dating

    Black Like Me

    We are not all alike. Just as a man will tell a woman that he’s not like all the rest, I find myself having to show and prove to someone that isn’t black that I’m not like all the rest. We are not all ghetto, loud mouthed, neck rolling mammies who grew up fatherless in the hood, with Ebonics being used regularly.  So again, we are not the same and are definitely cut from a different cloth but sadly, when it comes to dating and even the most innocent of interactions with men from different ethnic groups. For anyone wearing their rose colored glasses believing race really doesn’t matter when it…

  • Dumb Shit Guys Do,  First Dates,  Interracial Dating,  My Dating Hangovers,  Online Dating,  Plenty of Fail,  Shitty Dating Profiles,  Single Girl Problems

    He Didn’t Wear Heels

    Last week’s date marked the first time I’ve gone out with a non-black man and while one “quick” meet up will never allow me to claim an interracial dating experience, at least I was open coerced enough to have tried it. During that excruciating hour and eleven minutes with the hangover I’ll call Guido, a few things became perfectly clear to me:  (1) nearly every man lies about at least one thing on his dating profile, (2) broken English and improper verb tense isn’t something I’ll ever be able to stomach, and (3) being told how beautiful I am repeatedly in one sitting is a little creepy. That being said,…

  • Interracial Dating,  Online Dating,  Plenty of Fail

    Little White Lies

    If only he hadn’t invited me upstairs to his place after dinner, things might have gone differently.  I may not have figured it out so soon.  Let’s roll back the tape to that date two weeks ago… I’m unapologetically shallow when it comes to physical attractiveness, it’s a turn on.  We know this, so I no longer pretend that looks don’t matter.  A man with a high level of intelligence and great communication skills is equally sexy and if his integrity and goals are in alignment? A definite panty dropper.  It’s just so damn hard finding that perfect balance, so I try to work with some of the ones who…

  • Interracial Dating,  Sex/Romance

    The Other White Meat

    Remember a few posts back when I was getting all jungle fever with it?  I mentioned that I was finally ready to start paying attention to men of a different persuasion and get my swirl on. For my slow readers, I’m a black woman who has dated nothing but black men (unless mixed races counts for anything).  I have resisted the trend of interracial dating for a few reasons, but figure it’s time to start tapping into a wider pool of available men. I’ll share my theories on the types of men that are attracted to different types of black women later, but for now I must say- since changing my…