• THIS is Why I'm Single!,  Uncategorized

    Have I Become THAT Woman?

    Things have been noticeably quiet on the blogging scene and it hasn’t been due to lack of activity, and I really appreciate the optimistic messengers.  The people who have reached out to me wondering who the mystery man could be, figuring no news is good news.  Ah…the kindhearted souls. Wrong. No Mr. Anything outside of some random dates with some new guys and even a few comebacks vying for another shot with me.  Definitely no one to write home about, though not entirely bad but I’m just feeling awfully blah about men as of late.  Like really, disinterested to the nth degree. This could mean one of two things- I’m…

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    Some Things I Can’t Forget

    Do you have any specific skills or abilities that seem quite useless to most people but may end up being helpful in other cases?  There are several in my repertoire that make support my fabulosity and one happens to be the ability to remember every face and while remembering specific details about him/her; details that the average person wouldn’t have given a second thought about.  Now the usefulness of having face recognition is certainly helpful if I ever needed to identify a criminal in a line up but for the purposes of dating, this skill is extremely useful but perhaps is a double-edged sword at the same time. The benefit of this…

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    How Many is TOO Many?

    I went through this with Showtime, then Johnny Appleseed and a few other men who never made it to becoming a blog entry.  They have too many kids!!!!! Being a single parent myself makes this statement sound hypocritical at best and maybe even a little unreasonable,  but to date someone who is doing is full-time is a task.  Or how about this- dating a single parent that doesn’t have a support system or resources, is a task and most of the time, I just don’t want to deal with it.  It sounds bad and of course, we all have a past that involved the procreation of children with someone, and…

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    At Least it Was a Good One

    No news isn’t necessarily good news when it comes to following up after a date, although I’m not sure what The Bully and I had was actually meant to be a real date.  The crazy thing about men and women is the ability to send and receive mixed messages, so I’m not sure how this guy went from all eyes on me to…..nothing. Before we met up for dinner at a local spot, he seemed completely interested in redeeming himself from his immature antics way back when, trying to convince me that I had stumbled on a diamond in the rough of the OC.  Our exchanges were pretty light-hearted yet still,…

  • First Dates,  Uncategorized

    One Time… in Band Camp

    Okay, well not exactly in band camp but man oh man does this date taking place in just a few minutes have an interesting throwback element.  Yes my lovelies, I am still alive but this new year has been off to a crazy, hectic start and dating simply has been priority level -1,5000,000.  There has been plenty of activity so far as dating and relationships all around me, including several engagements, a few bright star prospects and yes- a few unhappy endings. But again, I haven’t given a hoot about my own dating situation in well over a month so imagine my surprise at being asked out by someone I…

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    Single During The Holidays? | And That’s Why You’re Single™

    If you’re single during the holidays you’re either happy and content, you’re either some kind of amazing or seriously in denial.  It sucks having to pass on far too many invites to Christmas parties and for those that  you do attend solo, having to explain how is it that you are such a great catch yet still single. So it was only fitting that I came across a post from one of the greatest dating blogs, “And That’s Why You’re Single”, on how to cope with the Christmas holidays.  The idea of disappearing on a vacation somewhere certainly sounds appealing but if that isn’t feasible, how about taking advantage of…

  • THIS is Why I'm Single!,  Uncategorized

    Nice Guys Always…

    Finish last. Sadly, it’s true.  I seem to be attracted to every man that is wrong for me and when one comes along who is all things great in so many areas, I can’t force attraction that isn’t there. This must be a curse. I just had a lovely dinner and an entertaining conversation with one of the hangovers from a few months back.  We had gone out a few times during the Out of Sight era and the poor guy- he could never figure out why things sort of stalled. I know why and as he said “I’m still feeling you a lot even though you kind of blew…

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    The Winter Slowdown

    (Photo Credit: www.collegemagazine.com) I love this time of the year when the weather cools down and people are getting ready for the holidays. However, the flip side to this joy is that cold weather encourages regression.  It’s Saturday night and my original plan was to get out and enjoy some comedy with my girlfriends,  but this is the time of year when I would much rather chill and relax, snuggle then fool around and then spoon after some amazing sex. I know I’m not alone here because we all know that the winter slowdown which starts right after Labor Day, makes the likelihood of you hooking up with your ex…

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    It Really IS a Small World

    According to the U.S. Census data from last year, there are 313,914,040 people in the U.S., 38.04 million in California alone; 9.963 million in Los Angeles County with 4,936,599 of this figure in my county consisting of whites and a paltry 856,874 represents blacks.  If breaking down these statistics even further, there are about 713,640 falling under my target category of black men between the ages of 35-44 years of age (Census Data http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/06000.html) .  I realize the figures speak for themselves due to the limited options that may be available and mind you, this isn’t considering any other preferences such as a man being single, employed, educated etc… that may be in…

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    Delete

    How often have you decided to give someone the benefit of the doubt, only to have that same decision backfire causing you to stick with your gut reaction from now on? In my case, my desire to work on becoming a better person and looking at ways to try something new always seems to come back and bite me in the ass.  It’s as if the cosmic energy of the world is telling me that I should know better.  Maybe it was this optimistic foolishness that certain preferences could be set aside or perhaps this Facebook post someone shared that said “Old ways will not open new doors” that had me agreeing…

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    What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas!

    I’m on my second cup of coffee and it isn’t even 8am as the recovery from one of the best weekend getaways all year continues – Oh yes, Las Vegas will do that to you every time if you really had a good time. Plenty of drinking to send a jolt and maybe a little shock to the liver, eating those types of meals that might leave your foot feeling like a gout attack is on the way, late night partying, trying your luck at the Roulette table and of course, great sex is certainly the standard if you’re all about that life in the city of sin.  Nothing out of the ordinary here…

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    The Birthday Boy’s Night Out

    Tonight will be a night of celebration! Out of Sight is ushering in another year on this earth,  and I offered to bring it in right beside him.  We are in a different place for sure, and as annoyed as I was that I had fallen for yet another man that was in transition, I took the necessary steps to pull back. I was caught up.  Big time. So for now, I’m still going strong on the dating site and we are maintaining a friendship, no sex involved. Okay, I lied.  Just one other time a few weeks ago that was a knock your socks off type of encounter. Tonight…

  • Settling or Compromising?,  The Non Committal Man or Woman,  Uncategorized

    Pedal Slowly OR Just Stop?

     “Damn Carmen, it sounds like you are further ahead with things than he is, so I’m not saying get rid of him altogether but you may need to just pedal slower and allow him time to catch up.  Then on the other hand, he’s acting like a man and telling you what you want to hear because if he’s realized you are that good of a woman, he’s not going to want to let go.  That’s the reality of the game.  I think you need to cut out the benefits so he doesn’t have his cake and eat it too because the way I see it is this – a…

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    Cheers to New Beginnings

    Let’s face it- no one really likes starting over and going through the process of getting to know a new guy is kind of like torture on some ways. I’m already nervous about that first meet up, hoping he isn’t a sea urchin in disguise or someone I should be packing heat for like that lunatic Bullet.  There’s also the fear that the guy doesn’t find me smoking hot or even the least bit appealing.  Then once we meet, will his manners be on place at the table of we’re eating and he rams the bill my way like a friend’s date recently did?   Or even worse, he ends up…