• Uncategorized

    Holiday Musings

    Thanksgiving has come and gone and yes – I have so much to be thankful for, yet as I settle in for the evening, realize there is something missing. Some great sex. Alright, not exactly but it would be nice. Where I was really going with this is that split second thought of “maybe I should have kept him”. I’m thinking that is from this food inebriation, but then again, maybe not. Holidays are the biggest reminders of your non-relationship status. Even if you and the person you’re involved with aren’t quite at the meeting of the family stage, getting together for a little quality time afterwards is nice. What…

  • My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  THIS is Why I'm Single!

    Time for a quickie

    No you pervs, not what you’re thinking, but I wanted to actually try posting something succinct. This has been quite an interesting week and yes – the Rescue saga has run its course. The whole situation puts you in mind of how you would feel if they announced the return of a movie. One that you wished would just go away. You know a Jaws movie. Part 7. Yes, I’m just as tired of writing about him but you know I can’t help it. Love. Fuc# love. Fuc# love with Rescue. Fuc# his excuses. Fuc# giving him time. Fuc# holding on. Fuc# second chances. A siren went off in my…

  • Bad First Dates,  Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Online Dating,  Plenty of Fail,  Red Flags,  Relationship 101,  Settling or Compromising?,  Single Parent Dating,  The Non Committal Man or Woman,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  Uncategorized,  When you're dating your ex

    A Year of Dating Hangovers

    One year.  365 days. 53 weeks.  Several template revisions, three “About Me” rewrites, many lessons learned. 118 posts.  1,071 comments.  Thousands of Spam messages.  Encounters with an estimated 26 men.  Total of 26 disappointments with men. Countless expletives.  Many headaches.  Several arguments.  One heartache.  Happy Blogoversary My Dating Hangovers! I’m not quite sure how to feel knowing an entire year has passed since I first entered the world of blogging.  Although I started this as a hobby of sorts, to get my feet wet in the realm of online journaling, at times I wondered if I kept knocking down the different men I had encountered to give me a reason to…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Uncategorized,  When you're dating your ex

    Did we make up or WHAT?

         “You really need to update the blog so your readers know this is what really happens when you’re dealing with relationship issues”.  I wouldn’t expect to hear something like this from a man, and especially not Special Agent but this is what he told me when I shared that there was a little more than “talking” when Rescue and I saw each other last week. Oh wait – I guess I should mention that I told Special Agent about this face to face.  While on my weekend getaway with the girls down in his neck of the woods, he drove up to the resort making it our second time…

  • My Dating Hangovers

    The Talk

    “I’m certainly not able to expect or ask for an answer now, all I ask is that you think about it”. Rescue’s words last night before I got out of his car. Emotions, thoughts, skepticism, hope, confusion. But wait- I’m getting ahead of myself. Last night’s talk with him caught me off guard because in my mind, I was completely over the situation since we didn’t meet up this past Sunday as originally planned. As I always say and fail miserably, I will try to keep this update under three scroll bars. In a nutshell, things went down as follows: Friday – He called, I finally answered, we spoke. I…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  When you're dating your ex

    A Week of Revelations

                      A Week of Revelations “Only time will tell what happens with him or any of these other three OR any of the others I didn’t have time to mention here.”  I guess the most appropriate place to begin this post is by starting where I left off.  It’s been a little over a week since I last posted and other than the occasional feelings of disappointment, reasoning and a slew of other thoughts and random emotions, not much has really happened directly.  Meaning, I’ve finally taken my own advice of just sitting back and observing what is transpiring in my life…

  • Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Settling or Compromising?,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  When you're dating your ex

    A Tale of Four Men

    Blame the bastards at Hewlett Packard for my delays in posting!  Yes, my laptop is truly on its last leg and I haven’t been able to access the Internet in almost two weeks.  Of course there’s the back-up plan using the Blackberry tool but it’s just easier in front of a real computer to spew out these different thoughts going through my head. I hope you’re ready to read and are NOT reading from a cell phone; otherwise a carpal-tunnel like sensation will develop from scrolling. Let’s go! Currently, there are four men I’ve been in contact with.  Any real contenders for anything?  I’m not sure but from the sign…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  When you're dating your ex

    A new day

    Cost for an after hours locksmith- $84 Feeling okay the day after a break up-PRICELESS. Saturday was quite interesting. As I woke up and started preparing food for a potluck, I wondered about my plan of action. I was so over the “how come you won’t just talk to me” or the “your actions make no sense” and especially the “you say you need and love me but I don’t see it” type of conversations. These were pretty much common place for about a month with Rescue. I called our mutual friend as I was pulling out of the driveway and asked “is your buddy there?”, and once I heard…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  When you're dating your ex

    A few hours later…

    Great minds think alike! Esme, you’re so right. Fu#k these men with all of their issues. I decided at 2:25pm this afternoon that Rescue needs to be rescued. Pun intended. I told a friend a few weeks ago we need to stop dealing with these dog pound-caliber of men. Yes, I said dog pound. They’re cute, you want to cuddle them and even though they’re tattered and beat up from life events, some of us feel the need to rescue them. So last night, I accepted a last minute invitation to see a Foo Fighters concert with….. Tall Glass of Wine. And a great time was had by all! Until…

  • Break Ups,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101

    I’m Back!!!!!!

      “Come back to Jamaica…. our home is your home…” I know I’m totally dating myself, but does anyone else remember that little jingle from back in the 80’s?  Let me just say that Montego Bay was everything I had hoped it could be and then some. I’ve been back in town now for almost a week and have been trying to catch up on life which really is a buzz kill after partying, drinking and relaxing as if I didn’t have a care in the world. Another song comes to mind – “Back to life, back to reality, back to the hear and now….” Oh well. How about some…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  When you're dating your ex

    Before the trip

    I just got my house key back from Rescue. The last message I’d sent was pretty stern as I said a little something like “I don’t want to talk to you” and “leave the car running, I’ll meet you at the door”. So there he was, looking as handsome as ever with a puppy dog look on his face to match mine, waiting with key in hand. Here’s how I envisioned things would go: Carmen stands with hands on hips in the door way, one eyebrow cocked in the air with a disgusted look. Rescue walks up and she says “my key”, quickly extends her right hand, gets the key…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  When you're dating your ex

    Phase 2

    The crying, dry heaves and headaches and confusion that follows have subsided. I’ve have passed the “I don’t really want it to be over”, “perhaps we just need a break” and the “why do I feel so bad” stages. I’ll admit it here – Saturday and Sunday were more like pre-break up moments. I’d told Rescue I was “letting him go so he could work on himself” and based on the generic/normal type of calls and texting that followed, I learned my girlfriends were right- he didn’t get it. Rescue didn’t understand that those weren’t just words of support for his negligent, inconsistent and somewhat suspect absenteeism but instead, my…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  Settling or Compromising?,  When you're dating your ex

    After all of that…

    I believe I am now a single woman. Again. After all of the drama, the divorce arguments, trying to convey communication vs incorrect assumptions, and learning to juggle things in life, I decided I can take no more. When I woke up yesterday (for like the 3rd time), I decided there is no hope for Rescue and me. Maybe there’s no hope for him, period. After all of enlightening feedback I received from Papa Bear, I thought we would be okay, being able to be strong enough to weather any storm. I apologized my part in having caused and strife and it was well received by Rescue but then he…

  • Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  When you're dating your ex

    “Of course, because you’re a WOMAN!”

    “You guys don’t get a lot of what men are trying to communicate or do so stop trying so hard to analyze everything”. Yes, this is what my dear friend named Papa Bear said to me last week. I’m a 36 year-old woman, of course I know there is normally a communication barrier between the sexes but this time, I think it finally sank in just how much. As tired and exasperated I was after what I shall affectionately dub as “the worst holiday weekend ever”, I wondered what else can I do. Rescue and I have pretty much done some major damage with our hiatus from seeing each other,…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  When you're dating your ex

    Part Deaux

      It has been eight days since Rescue and I had our latest "incident", seven days since we last saw each other, and six days since I apologized and two hours have passed since he and I had what I hope was the beginning of a break through conversation. Yes, I apologized and the reason why is simple:  Men and women think differently. This is by no means a statement that has never been heard before, but at that moment when I pulled over to the side of the road and inhaled, then exhaled before making my call to him I realized this was the gospel truth. Now before I go on…