• Guest Posts,  Sex/Romance,  What Women Want

    Can Incompatibility Be The Problem?

    He’s giving me that look again, rubbing on my leg and talking dirty to me.  I know what he wants and don’t know if I can stomach another round with him. In fact, the last time I almost reached towards the nightstand to get B.O.B. and this was while we were having sex. I have been fortunate enough to have had some marvelous sexual conquests in my life. However just the same, there have been a few men who have fallen short (pun intended) in the bedroom and if this was just someone I was having a little fun with, I would chop it up as a loss and move…

  • Dating Over 30,  First Dates,  Friend Zone

    Great First Dates

    We might have a winner! We might have a winner! We might have a winner! In case the point isn’t being emphasized enough, I think we might have a winner so let’s just call him Winner! Last night’s date was a smashing success and even better, the feeling is mutual since we ended the night by texting each other pretty much the same thing and woke up texting nearly the same words as last night which – we were happy to have met, enjoyed the relaxed and open conversation an agreed how everything flowed effortlessly.  Our chemistry was amazing and if you were looking over at our table while we…

  • Bad First Dates,  Dumb Shit Guys Do,  First Dates

    Stay Away From This Guy

    The short version of my recent meet up: He messaged me, I responded.  He responded, then I responded and we exchanged numbers and he then texted to me and I responded and he said let’s get together later, and I said okay to a meet up at Starbucks which I hate for meet ups, we meet and he looks different (older) and I know I don’t like him, so we chat for a while, he’s asking questions like I’m interviewing for a job, he gets comfortable and starts dropping F bombs, then he gets really comfortable and asks how old does he look and says he’s really 49 and not…

  • Friends with Benefits,  Settling or Compromising?,  Sex/Romance,  Single Girl Problems

    Breaking the Rules

    Rule #1 of having a friend with benefits – don’t catch feelings. Rule #2 of having a friend with benefits – don’t catch feelings. If only there was a manual for how to successfully carry on with this type of thing.  Too bad I never thought to read 10 Simple Rules to Maintaining a Successful Sex Buddy Relationship. Here’s my deal. In an effort to minimize my slut factor throughout the years, I have kept the company of two male “companions” whose sole purpose in my life was to dick me down.  No drama, no dating, no regular telephone calls and no questioning of each other’s dealings or actions in anyway.…

  • THIS is Why I'm Single!

    Stop Over Thinking, It’s Just Great Sex

    An overwhelming instinct to protect myself from certain situations that can be detrimental to my well-being has suddenly kicked into overdrive. This is really just a fancy way of saying whenever I’m feeling like the situation with a man is a little confusing or uncomfortable for me, the anchor comes up and this old ship gets to sailing. It’s funny (well, not really) how just a few days ago I was skipping through the field of daisies, still on a high after the latest tryst with my long-term cut buddy Papi which I’ll say again, was one of the best sessions. I could just brush it off as having been…

  • Online Dating,  Plenty of Fail,  THIS is Why I'm Single!

    We broke up, but I’m back…

    I’m caught up in this vicious cycle where the levels of frustration are so bad that I say to hell with it all.  I take down all of my decorations and pretty pictures, and might even leave some threatening note before finally ending things for good. After a couple of weeks or so, boredom usually sets in and a little sliver of hope pops into my mind that maybe – just maybe things will be different this time.  Aren’t these the types of thoughts that makes a person want to have some reflective moments to re-evaluate their purpose and goals?  Hell yeah, it certainly is so after much thought and…

  • Dumb Shit Guys Do,  First Dates,  Interracial Dating,  My Dating Hangovers,  Online Dating,  Plenty of Fail,  Shitty Dating Profiles,  Single Girl Problems

    He Didn’t Wear Heels

    Last week’s date marked the first time I’ve gone out with a non-black man and while one “quick” meet up will never allow me to claim an interracial dating experience, at least I was open coerced enough to have tried it. During that excruciating hour and eleven minutes with the hangover I’ll call Guido, a few things became perfectly clear to me:  (1) nearly every man lies about at least one thing on his dating profile, (2) broken English and improper verb tense isn’t something I’ll ever be able to stomach, and (3) being told how beautiful I am repeatedly in one sitting is a little creepy. That being said,…

  • Bad First Dates,  Online Dating,  Plenty of Fail,  Settling or Compromising?

    3 Signs the Date Wasn’t So Great

    “So um hypothetically speaking, let’s say you and I keep doing this right here you know and after about three months we’re in a really cool place.  Does that mean you’ll eventually close out your dating account or do we have that conversation when you feel like you’re ready?” Blank stare. “I’m ready, you know what I’m saying because you are the type of woman who is on my level, is over the clubbing, you’re a good parent and think the same way as I do.  So um are you ready to take this to the next level?” Fool, what level and why are you talking like you’re with the homies on…

  • Friends with Benefits

    Girl, Don’t Send That Text!

     If someone is struggling with an addiction or having suicidal tendencies, there’s help.   One call to a dedicated number can offer support, fresh perspectives and hopefully prevent someone from doing something they’ll end up regretting. So why in the hell has no one ever created a crisis hot line for dating? You know we need it! There’s always some man or woman acting a god damn fool over someone they’ve been dealing with and shit has taken a turn for the worse.  They’re about to send some convoluted text message, blow up someone’s phone and leave some stalker-ish message that’s about five minutes long or worse – go on over…

  • Dating Over 30,  Dumb Shit Guys Do,  First Dates,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  Uncategorized

    Throwback Dating

    Nothing is constant but change and this concept most certainly applies to dating. Over the last ten years or so, the rules of the game have changed drastically and this isn’t just because online dating is now one of the most popular ways to try finding that special someone but our society is now a lot more screwed up.   Simple interactions we used to take for granted such as talking on the telephone or simply saying hello to someone you’re interested in have gone away and the likelihood of sharing an intelligible conversation is slim to none. Some of the ridiculous experiences I’ve had with men from both online contact…

  • Uncategorized

    14,608 Days

    In less than 24 hours I’ll be celebrating my 40th birthday and I’m soooooo excited! A small part of me wants to bitch and moan about being single, not having a snuggle bunny at the end of the night after I’m all sweaty and tipsy but to hell with any of those negative thoughts.  I’ll never understand why turning a year older seem to be such a daunting event instead of it being a time of celebration.  So what it’s cuffing season and there aren’t any good players on the bench, but at least I can say I spent the year doing something that makes me even more of a catch – working…

  • Uncategorized

    Some Things I Can’t Forget

    Do you have any specific skills or abilities that seem quite useless to most people but may end up being helpful in other cases?  There are several in my repertoire that make support my fabulosity and one happens to be the ability to remember every face and while remembering specific details about him/her; details that the average person wouldn’t have given a second thought about.  Now the usefulness of having face recognition is certainly helpful if I ever needed to identify a criminal in a line up but for the purposes of dating, this skill is extremely useful but perhaps is a double-edged sword at the same time. The benefit of this…

  • Friends with Benefits

    When Your Past Comes Calling

    I ran across a little blurb that said “If your past calls, don’t answer because it rarely has anything new to say”, and wouldn’t you know that in about 10 minutes,  I had received a random text from one hangover and a missed call from another. The moons and the stars must have been in perfect alignment because there is no desire to deal with either Good on Paper or Out of Sight yet for some reason, my responses were a little inconsistent with the two. Out of Sight had been told many months ago that trying to be “friends” was just stupid.  I don’t even like him as a…