• Guest Posts,  Online Dating,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  Uncategorized

    The Undateable Woman – Guest Post for Cupid’s Library

    Is it possible that some women will never be successful at dating or having a relationship because they are undateable?  Are there some who have so many negative traits or behaviors to the point that most men will likely disregard them, no matter how attractive?  Why is it that having a strong will, the desire to be successful or having expectations qualities that are acceptable for most, but black women are branded as being too demanding? There isn’t enough time in blog world for me to touch on everything, but there is time for me to start addressing this issue outside of my inner circle which is why The Undateable…

  • Online Dating,  Settling or Compromising?,  THIS is Why I'm Single!

    One to Grow On

      It’s a new day and my mind is doing far too much thinking about this dating situation with the latest candidate who I’m still hoping doesn’t end up becoming one of the hangovers.  God knows there have been too many in a span of about five months, so while a lot of those good old feelings about a man that have been lying dormant have returned, there’s also a familiar feeling that isn’t so good.  The dreaded feeling that my hopes for a positive outcome to my dating bliss thus far with Balance will soon begin to sour. I mentioned last week that Balance was an older man –…

  • Online Dating,  THIS is Why I'm Single!

    Unofficial Rules of Dating

      It was just a few days ago when I was sharing my happiness after having a pretty good date, a mid-week first meeting at that. But you should also remember that the word “cautiously” was somewhere between happiness at the same time, and since Untitled (the hangover I couldn’t think of a name for) decided to open up page 1 of the guys book on dating, here I am giving an update. More like an exit statement. Untitled chose to follow the unofficial wait-two-days-after-a-date-to-contact-her approach, so obviously there really isn’t that much for me to rant about now.  Why do men do this?  When to call a woman after…

  • Bad First Dates,  Uncategorized,  When you're dating your ex

    Suffering From Dating Burnout

    If only I had the energy to share the plethora of events that took place this past weekend, and normally there is never a dull moment.  I accepted a double dog dare and ended up riding a mechanical bull for the first time, successfully managing to keep all body parts inside  of my clothing.  Next, I had the pleasure of taking in the sights of Marina del Rey while talking about real estate dreams in between several snack runs to a few 7 Eleven stores which led up to the closing ceremonies of the weekend where my fears of becoming the latest nightclub shooting casualty because someone had a crazy temper and hood mentality. Oh- the last…

  • My Dating Hangovers,  THIS is Why I'm Single!

    The Post I Wasn’t Expecting to Post

    I feel as if I would be cheating all of you if I didn’t share how last evening’s visit went with Special Agent.  In fact, I’m still in shock from the conversation I had while waiting for my oil change, and certainly the remaining conversation that followed which lasted over an hour. Let me just say these two things: First, the Internet is an amazing place.  Second, men who are cheating or dishonest fail to realize that at some point, they are going to slip up and forget something. Right now, Special Agent is probably trying to figure out how he is going to apply his special investigative and negotiation…

  • My Dating Hangovers

    A Visit to The Birthday Boy

    Some of my girlfriends ask about some of the hangovers who affected me the most, especially in between any current dating fiascos. “Have you heard from that pervert Jekyll” or “Did Rescue ever get that divorce” are just a few inquiries received in the last two weeks. Just a few days ago someone else asked whatever happened to Special Agent and if he was still on my delete list? Actually, he is not. He is definitely on the wall of shame for hangovers, but I were to use an extreme analogy to compare him to some of the others, I would say SA was guilty of committing several infractions versus…

  • Uncategorized

    A Date With Love Jones

    Who am I? I’ll be whatever you say But right now, I’m the sight raped hunter Blindly pursuing you as my prey And I wanna give you injections of sublime erections And get you to dance to my rhythm Make you dream archetypes, of black angels in flight Upon wings of distorted, contorted, metaphoric jism…. Excerpts from “A Blues for Nina”… It’s Friday and even though I feel as though I need tape to keep my eyelids open, I’m flying high from last night’s date.  Weeknight outings are normally reserved for that someone who I may have already met, a man who makes sleep deprivation and crabbiness the following morning…

  • Uncategorized

    What Do You Do For Work?

    The following is an actual conversation that took place yesterday between me and the newest hangover who will be known as “The Specialist”. and none of the verbiage has been exaggerated or change in anyway for effect. This message will self destruct in 20 seconds: The Specialist: “Hey Carmen, I was trying to talk to you for a bit before I went to bed. I’ve got to be at my other job in a few hours”. Me: “Oh yeah? It sounds like you work a lot, what is it that you do?” The Specialist: “Oh, well- I work for AEG. You know the large entertainment group.” Me: “Yes, I know…

  • Uncategorized

    Facebook Friend Request

    Damn, damn, damn! Before I can even talk about the lock and key event, the interesting prospects and hell-to-the-no’s I’ve received from the online dating account, or even a mention of my first meeting up with one guy Saturday night, said guy does the one thing that annoys me the most- sends a damn friend request on Facebook. Scroll back up four lines and perhaps you’ll understand why I’m so irked. We JUST met!!!!!!! It may not make sense now since you’re not privy to the details of our last minute meet up, the pseudonym being assigned to this man won’t make sense. As soon as I’m able to post…

  • Relationship 101,  Uncategorized

    Michael, will you marry me?

    Queen Victoria, Halle Berry, Heather Mills (Paul McCartney’s ex), singer Pink, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Jennifer Hudson and most recently, Chrissy Lampkin (reality tv star) have all done it. These women have said to hell with tradition or waiting on a man who may have been dragging his feet and proposed. For those of you who didn’t know, it is not only Leap Day but is something called Sadie Hawkins Day – the day where it is accepted in many parts of the world for women to propose to men. I know what you may be thinking when hearing about women who have to step up and take their relationships to…

  • Uncategorized

    The Morning After

    Hello to my single folks, lovers, happily married, mistresses and cheaters. Valentine’s Day is o-v-e-r! I know, I know – the last two aren’t the types that should be acknowledged but there are so many of you out there, I want to make sure no one is left out. I’m curious though – how DOES Valentine’s Day work for you if you’ve got someone on the side? Take care of the side boo first or later or do they just understand you’re unavailable for a day or two? Business as usual? Well, although I said I was boycotting Facebook yesterday, I took a little peek last night after class. What…

  • My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  THIS is Why I'm Single!

    Thanks, but no thanks!

    Being forced to be civil with your ex, especially the other half who helped in the creation of your child is tough. For the most part, I have as minimal contact with the father which helps in living a drama free life. As the two of us stood in the cold, watching the kids displaying their best effort at scoring a touchdown, the polite small talk got a bit personal. Allow me to share a few excerpts from my discussion with “The Bullet” (meaning the one I dodged. Sort of): TB: “So Carmen, are you still with that one dude, the firefighter?” Me: “No”. TB: “Man, you go through boyfriends…

  • Uncategorized

    Quote of the Week

    I have been ridiculously busy! These first 26 days of 2012 have been quite productive, but I’m ready for February. So while I continue to procrastinate on posting several items, here’s a little something sent to me earlier this week. It’s simple, purely for shits and giggles but pretty darn accurate: “Fat people are like most relationships – they don’t work out.” 😉

  • Uncategorized

    “I Would Reach Out More But…”

    I don’t want to end up in your blog. My thoughts: You’re goddamn right. As a matter of fact, you’re already there. My reply to this: “Oh how funny, why would you say such a thing?” Moments ago, I just received one of those feeler text messages. You know the ones that start off with the usual lameness of “Hey, how are you” with the other person lying about how “Everything is all good”, then with them pretending to give a shit what’s going on with you when they ask “How have you been?”. Hmm mmm. You’ve received this feeler text OR have sent it. For a minute, I actually…

  • Uncategorized

    A year later…

    Random Texter: “Hey stranger, how are you?” Me: “You either have a new number OR have been deleted, who is this?” Random Texter: “My number is still the same, this is _____”. Me: “Well… I know quite a few _____, so what city do you live in?”. Random Texter: “Baldwin Hills”. Me: “Oh hey there, I’m doing good. Hope all is well”. As you can see, I wasn’t interested in entertaining last night’s reunion by text any longer, especially with a man where our contact a year ago when he: – argued with me over why I allowed my child to go trick or treating because it was the devil’s…