The Ghost of F@ck Boys Past

They say when you close one door, another one opens.

But isn’t that new door supposed to come with something new, different or better than the last?

Any leftover energy is released and I’m increasing my chances of meeting and dating a really great man. This is how it should work.

So if I absolutely decimated the relationship with one man because it was no longer healthy for me, the next man that makes contact with me should be the REAL thing, right?

In what I thought was the most pristine way possible,  I told Papi to disappear.

Forever.

I’m still processing everything and the scathing response that followed,  but I did.  Which leads me to my question above,  because in my mind, letting go of that confusing situation would make me 100% available.

No lose ends, no chance of a comeback.

So today,  just a week later I’m getting a message by the only other man I had allowed the back and forth shenanigans from.

Good on Paper.

We have lots and lots of history starting here and here.

This isn’t my idea of “better” after closing that first door.

I don’t need a replacement fuck buddy for Papi, so why must the sex gods be so cruel to me??

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones