• Sex/Romance

    Fifty Shades of…

    Last night’s date with a man I originally met over two years ago was painstakingly boring and from the moment we walked into a local spot for a few drinks, my mind was already wandering to the dirty limits. Who was I going to fuck once I get rid of this sappy dude?  Sounds pretty bad to think about a man while in the presence of another but it is what it is.  The night (finally) came to an end with a church hug and as soon as this ass hit the seat, I was looking at my phone wondering who would be the suitor of choice. The first person…

  • Uncategorized

    At Least it Was a Good One

    No news isn’t necessarily good news when it comes to following up after a date, although I’m not sure what The Bully and I had was actually meant to be a real date.  The crazy thing about men and women is the ability to send and receive mixed messages, so I’m not sure how this guy went from all eyes on me to…..nothing. Before we met up for dinner at a local spot, he seemed completely interested in redeeming himself from his immature antics way back when, trying to convince me that I had stumbled on a diamond in the rough of the OC.  Our exchanges were pretty light-hearted yet still,…

  • Online Dating,  Settling or Compromising?

    Decisions, Decisions

    I think I need to make a decision on what to do with this online dating account and there are two good reasons for not wanting to do anything too hasty but at the same time, there are two very good reasons for why I should just pull the plug. It has been quite some time since the process of deleting of a dating profile has occurred for a good reason because normally the antics of men simply drive me to the point of sheer disgust and hopelessness and slowly, the dismantling begins.  The amount of time I pop on the site to read messages slows down and my response…

  • Uncategorized

    It Really IS a Small World

    According to the U.S. Census data from last year, there are 313,914,040 people in the U.S., 38.04 million in California alone; 9.963 million in Los Angeles County with 4,936,599 of this figure in my county consisting of whites and a paltry 856,874 represents blacks.  If breaking down these statistics even further, there are about 713,640 falling under my target category of black men between the ages of 35-44 years of age (Census Data http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/06000.html) .  I realize the figures speak for themselves due to the limited options that may be available and mind you, this isn’t considering any other preferences such as a man being single, employed, educated etc… that may be in…

  • Red Flags

    Is This What I Wanted?

    For anyone out there who thinks the best way to get over someone is to meet someone new, two fist pumps in the air to you because I think it’s a bad idea.  Several of my girlfriends have done this even though I have always suggested otherwise because they don’t realize that if you’re still licking wounds from that last situation do you really think you’re a good candidate for the next guy?  Besides all of your issues what about the poor unsuspecting sap who will have no idea why you start showing some unappealing traits after a couple conversations and dates. Each person is different so it may take a shorter period…

  • Red Flags

    The Rebound

    Wikipedia defines a rebound in terms of basketball as the act of successfully gaining possession of the basketball after a missed field goal or free throw.Rebounds in basketball are a routine part in the game, as all possessions change after a shot is successfully made. Now what if I took that same meaning and applied my own little touches to it might apply to dating: A rebound in dating is the act of successfully gaining possession of the emotions, thoughts and sometimes your heart after a failed relationship or prospect of one. Rebounds in dating are a routine part in the dating game, as many men and women believe those strong feelings change after a few interactions with someone new…

  • Settling or Compromising?,  The Non Committal Man or Woman,  Uncategorized

    Pedal Slowly OR Just Stop?

     “Damn Carmen, it sounds like you are further ahead with things than he is, so I’m not saying get rid of him altogether but you may need to just pedal slower and allow him time to catch up.  Then on the other hand, he’s acting like a man and telling you what you want to hear because if he’s realized you are that good of a woman, he’s not going to want to let go.  That’s the reality of the game.  I think you need to cut out the benefits so he doesn’t have his cake and eat it too because the way I see it is this – a…

  • Red Flags,  The Non Committal Man or Woman

    Why Are You Single?

    “…I can’t understand how a woman like you could be single, you are amazing…” is what Out of Sight said quite a few times earlier on during our friendship/situation and I would always jokingly reply “It’s possible because and I am truly a good catch, but  I keep meeting assholes with too much personal baggage who aren’t ready and I have to let them go”. What I told him is so sad but  true because in nearly every instance where I meet someone and we begin the process of getting to know one another, we get derailed because of something the man is going through, he needs to work through his shit…

  • Online Dating,  Red Flags

    Return to Sender?

    The man I have been getting to know while he planned a major life changing move back to Southern California has arrived and he made sure I was on the list of things to do the same day his plane touched down.  Sunday afternoon seemed to make all of the waiting and anticipation worth it, and thankfully that same chemistry and good-feeling vibes experienced over the telephone these last couple of months seemed worth it. After over 10-years of being gone, being married and starting a family in the mid-west, Out of Sight is a resident once again. Yet just like that item  you recently purchased where you’re not so sure it…

  • My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101

    He’s Getting Closer but…

    Nervousness, excitement and that tingling feeling and a host of other emotions is what I’m feeling right now which seems a little strange because I’ve already met Out of Sight who in just a few short days, will be back in California and this time for good. I’m so happy and can’t wait to give him the biggest hug and some of the longest and wettest kisses possible, and find myself just smiling at the thought of him.  Hmmm, what a refreshing feeling. Having stepped outside of my comfort zone of local only encounters and allowing a nearly 4-month friendship (guess that is what I call this “thing”) with someone…

  • Uncategorized

    In a Good Place

    My search for a new home and a decent man seem to have a few things in common, since both have to do with distance and quality.  I’m now entering into month two of trying to find a place that isn’t a piece of crap being sold at a premium price or one that isn’t so far out into the boondocks that I wouldn’t really have time to enjoy it. Let’s face it – buying a home is a huge commitment which should be done after careful thinking and while I have somewhat of a pie-in-the-sky dream of what I would like and the area, short inventory and quality are two…

  • Uncategorized

    Welcome to L.A.!

    Finally, after countless conversations and shared photographs, and far too many scenarios of how the meeting would go, it happened.  Last night,  Out of Sight was fully in site as he touched down for some last minute job details.  I don’t think you can imagine the level of nervous anticipation I was feeling; wondering if I would find him as attractive in person as I did from the pictures.  How would he respond to me in person, and am I going to be appealing to his eyes.  More so, chemistry.  Would there be any awkwardness between the two of us, or what if his mannerisms turned me off? Fortunately, each and…

  • Sex/Romance

    Small World

    So far, so good with Out of Sight and while I think the crack in his foundation has been clearly identified based on our conversations, my focus will be away from the negative and more on the potential that he’s offering.  Unfortunately for his friends and family, the relocation date has been pushed ahead by over a month and I’m not ashamed to say that I’m elated to hear this.  It’s all about me for right now. Funny thing is that I’m quite nervous at the same time because the expectations that Out of Sight has for a woman he would even consider dating are quite demanding and while unrealistic…

  • Online Dating

    Out of Sight, On My Mind

    Someone has captured my attention. To the point where I look forward to receiving his quirky text messages with random “mannish moments” and the entertaining, no holds barred telephone conversations that we share.  Just thinking about our talks brings a smile to my face and even as I’m writing this, am finding myself blushing like a little girl with her first crush or something; it’s crazy. Nothing is off limits so far as what we share with one another, absolutely nothing and I like how he cares enough to ask if something he asked was too intrusive or if a comment was going too far.  Being able to enjoy getting to…