• Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Settling or Compromising?,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  When you're dating your ex

    A Tale of Four Men

    Blame the bastards at Hewlett Packard for my delays in posting!  Yes, my laptop is truly on its last leg and I haven’t been able to access the Internet in almost two weeks.  Of course there’s the back-up plan using the Blackberry tool but it’s just easier in front of a real computer to spew out these different thoughts going through my head. I hope you’re ready to read and are NOT reading from a cell phone; otherwise a carpal-tunnel like sensation will develop from scrolling. Let’s go! Currently, there are four men I’ve been in contact with.  Any real contenders for anything?  I’m not sure but from the sign…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  When you're dating your ex

    A new day

    Cost for an after hours locksmith- $84 Feeling okay the day after a break up-PRICELESS. Saturday was quite interesting. As I woke up and started preparing food for a potluck, I wondered about my plan of action. I was so over the “how come you won’t just talk to me” or the “your actions make no sense” and especially the “you say you need and love me but I don’t see it” type of conversations. These were pretty much common place for about a month with Rescue. I called our mutual friend as I was pulling out of the driveway and asked “is your buddy there?”, and once I heard…

  • Break Ups,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101

    I’m Back!!!!!!

      “Come back to Jamaica…. our home is your home…” I know I’m totally dating myself, but does anyone else remember that little jingle from back in the 80’s?  Let me just say that Montego Bay was everything I had hoped it could be and then some. I’ve been back in town now for almost a week and have been trying to catch up on life which really is a buzz kill after partying, drinking and relaxing as if I didn’t have a care in the world. Another song comes to mind – “Back to life, back to reality, back to the hear and now….” Oh well. How about some…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  When you're dating your ex

    Phase 3- The “I don’t know how I feel” moment

    To say that this past week has been rough would be a gross understatement. I haven’t been shedding tears of “my relationship is crappy and pretty much over, but more “this whole wanting to be with someone is crappy”. Actually, I take that back – the crying has pretty much subsided and has been replaced with an attitude of indifference. Rescue has issues that need to be worked out and as much as he keeps trying to convince me that WE are okay, I beg to differ. Selfishness or love? Which is it when someone knows they’re not right for you OR need to work on themselves before trying to…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  When you're dating your ex

    Phase 2

    The crying, dry heaves and headaches and confusion that follows have subsided. I’ve have passed the “I don’t really want it to be over”, “perhaps we just need a break” and the “why do I feel so bad” stages. I’ll admit it here – Saturday and Sunday were more like pre-break up moments. I’d told Rescue I was “letting him go so he could work on himself” and based on the generic/normal type of calls and texting that followed, I learned my girlfriends were right- he didn’t get it. Rescue didn’t understand that those weren’t just words of support for his negligent, inconsistent and somewhat suspect absenteeism but instead, my…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  Settling or Compromising?,  When you're dating your ex

    After all of that…

    I believe I am now a single woman. Again. After all of the drama, the divorce arguments, trying to convey communication vs incorrect assumptions, and learning to juggle things in life, I decided I can take no more. When I woke up yesterday (for like the 3rd time), I decided there is no hope for Rescue and me. Maybe there’s no hope for him, period. After all of enlightening feedback I received from Papa Bear, I thought we would be okay, being able to be strong enough to weather any storm. I apologized my part in having caused and strife and it was well received by Rescue but then he…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  When you're dating your ex

    Part Deaux

      It has been eight days since Rescue and I had our latest "incident", seven days since we last saw each other, and six days since I apologized and two hours have passed since he and I had what I hope was the beginning of a break through conversation. Yes, I apologized and the reason why is simple:  Men and women think differently. This is by no means a statement that has never been heard before, but at that moment when I pulled over to the side of the road and inhaled, then exhaled before making my call to him I realized this was the gospel truth. Now before I go on…

  • Break Ups,  Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Red Flags,  Relationship 101,  Settling or Compromising?,  When you're dating your ex

    He can blame himself in the end- Pt. 1

    So much has transpired since my update last weekend. Of course, my girls who have seen me know the details of all that went down with me and Rescue and for you others – read it here because I simply don’t have the energy to rehash it. That last line sounds like a state of defeat, doesn’t it? As of today (Saturday) night, I have to admit to myself that something went away within the last couple of days. Saying that I’m no longer in love with Rescue would be a lie BUT saying I’ve lost THAT feeling is completely true. You know what I’m talking about? I can’t really…

  • Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  Settling or Compromising?,  When you're dating your ex

    The “Ah hah” Moment

    I’m realizing that I just am not cut out for relationships. I try. When I say I’m interested in meeting my life partner, I’m just not talking out of the side of my neck. I’m serious. Yet of the ones I’ve tried to make work, the end result? Epic failure. I’m sick of hearing people tell me that relationships take work, and that of you really care for someone, you’ll make concessions and learn compromise. While those helpful words of wisdom may sound good, they can be a bit overrated. We sometimes get committed relationships confused with marriage. As someone reminded me yesterday that I’d never been married before (Yes,…

  • Uncategorized

    No ring, no nookie?

      No matter what, there are some topics dealing with sex, dating and relationships that never get old – women giving it up or holding out is certainly one of them. This morning my frustrated-single-but-hopeful friend sent me a message telling me about her celibacy stint, proclaiming that it was actually going well and that she wondered if her cutting off one of her favorite past times would get her any closer to matrimony.  She proceeds to share a “no ring, no nookie” (NRNN) success story of someone she knew who had a ring within 6 months after holding out on her guy, feigning a vow of celibacy. 6 months?  Here…

  • Uncategorized

    Is it time to become exclusive?

    While catching up with a friend over the weekend and discussing her current situation with a man she’s been dating for about three months, I asked if they were an actual couple.  A long pause is what I received in return and a minute later she asked “what do you mean, as in are we dating other people?  I replied yes and she tells me she wasn’t sure and that she was waiting for him to bring it up since exclusivity is what she wanted from their very first date. Huh?  Call me foolish, but isn’t this something the TWO of them should be discussing? I’m not sure I undertand…

  • Married Men,  My Dating Hangovers,  When you're dating your ex

    In a happy place… for now

    Things are going pretty well on the “situation” front with Rescue. I’m happy to announce that……………………………………………………… Re-training is going successfully! Of course, just like that new puppy who needs to be taught that peeing on the carpet or chewing on the curtains is a no-no a couple of times before he gets it, the same applies with Rescue learning the do’s and don’t’s. Do’s: – continue being consistent when it comes to daily contact – keep the “I love you’s” coming – continue to share your goals/ideas/dreams with me – remember what better happen in 4 months – keep a smile on my face #1 Don’t? Failure to communicate when…

  • Relationship 101,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  Uncategorized

    Just Be Up Front!

                                “Hey dear stranger.  🙂  Its ____, how are you?  Just putting the word out that I’m off the market.  Got engaged”. This is the text message I received from the hangover named Mr. Hollywood hangover just after midnight, and while I adjusted my eyes in the dark to read this as I awoke this morning, I found myself adjusting them once again to correct them from being crossed, marveling at the thought of this guy sending this to me.  Sure, I shouldn’t care because I’ve got my Rescue and sure, I should be happy for anyone who has successfully…

  • My Dating Hangovers,  Relationship 101,  THIS is Why I'm Single!,  Uncategorized

    The Aftermath

    Memo to self: Do not call, text or e-mail for the first 24 hours of a rift or major blowout because I can go from this priceless Kelis moment: rtsp://v1.cache8.c.youtube.com/CjULENy73wIaLAnJiPDPXgKV2BMYJCAkFEIGbXYtcmltSARSB3Jlc3VsdHNg8vnnvMCNmq5NDA==/0/0/0/video.3gp To having a Minnie type sensation thinking about all of the good: rtsp://v2.cache4.c.youtube.com/CjULENy73wIaLAk4ME-ewClNkBMYJCAkFEIGbXYtcmltSARSB3Jlc3VsdHNg8vnnvMCNmq5NDA==/0/0/0/video.3gp After bringing my friend up to speed on the latest developments with Rescue she said “he should know that he’s used 6 of his 9 lives”. No further explanation needed. I’ve only confirmed that Men are from some undiscovered planet and Women are from Earth. As Mel commented on the “Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed” post, men are simple. When they say something, that’s normally what it…