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“Hi Carmen, I’m Joseph and you are absolutely stunning!!!! I couldn’t resist the urge to contact you after viewing your photos which show true beauty. Your eyes are very expressive, your skin flawless. I know your profile says you don’t respond if there isn’t a photo, but can I call you sometime anyway? I don’t have any photos right now. “
This sounds like a decent introduction from a potential Mr. Wonderful, right? But can you see there’s a slight advantage he has over me? Where the hell is HIS photo? Why can’t I click on his profile and view HIS picture which will either bring joy and a smile or disdain and a grunt? One of my biggest peeves is the online dater who doesn’t have a picture posted, so what are you hiding or who are you hiding FROM?
They say the profile picture is the first impression that you give, so you would think these men are taking the time to choose wisely and maybe even ask a few female friends before posting, but sadly, I’ve seen more bad than good.
But still, I feel cheated when someone contacts me and I get the “photo not available”.
Sitting with the mutt on the sofa, a silhouette in the sunset, hugging a woman with her face PhotoShop’d out, showing off the prison tattoos, posing next to bottles of beer, or even next to the cars that are probably not his – anything, just make the effort to post your best shot.
I’ll be honest – there’s a part of me that enjoys the online experience purely for the comic relief witnessed from the poorly written profiles, chop full of third-grade level grammar and the wide variety of unattractive men who have popped up on my screen.
Sorry, but you can spare me the crap about looks not being everything (see my post on dating someone who is unattractive). This is online dating, NOT guess whose face is behind these words. Perhaps I might be missing out on meeting someone really great, so if I’m being hit on by a man without ANY photos of himself, I’m thinking one of two things:
He’s cheating. Posting pictures of himself and the kids with a wife in the background probably isn’t going to net him many “winks” and may not be the smartest thing to do. Remember, this is how a woman realized her loving husband and faithful husband was really a polygamist after seeing his picture on Facebook. OR
Lying. His profile says he is tall and handsome, 30 years-old, athletic and toned but he REALLY looks like an ancient gargoyle, stands as tall as your stomach and the only thing he does that is athletic is point and click with his mouse.
We’re either going to like each other or not, so stop playing games and show me what you’re working with.