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Like trying to fit my size 8.5 into a 7

Afternoon folks!  Yay, no work for me today, so I thought I’d share a little hangover, though it isn’t REALLY a hangover.  Okay, here’s the deal-  I like (Until Something Better Comes Along) USBC, and can’t emphasize how much of a cool cat this guy is.

He’s spontaneous, funny and is an all around good nature guy.  Still, trying to make myself have the type of interest I would have in (say for instance, Special Agent or Hollywood*), is like me trying to squeeze my fat foot into a size 7 knowing I’m a good 8.5 on a good day.  I just can’t force it.  Oh,  and I’ve been so busy, I haven’t had a chance to introduce you Hollywood.  Soon, very soon.

So anyway, USBC calls me up and asked if I wanted to listen to a friend of his play in Hermosa.  He said he figured me for versatile one when it comes to most things, especially music and asked if I could tolerate rock and roll.  Well, I’m more of a R&R from the 80’s type chick, but if it sounds good can get down with just about any type of music except metal and country.  What the hell, I said sure.

Since we were coming from two opposite sides of town to meet up in the South Bay, he gave me the directions and I met him there.  He did two things right:  called to check on me to make sure I didn’t have problems finding the place and came outside, met me at the door and took care of the cover charge. 

You’re probably thinking those two things are a no brainer, but some fellas just don’t get it – I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to walk into a place, which is normally crowded and struggle trying to find the person I was meeting up with, so cool points for him.

The first thing he does is compliment me – “Wow, you look great”, followed by a hug and a “it’s really good to see you again”.  Add cool points here.  Not that I need to or ever go fishing for a compliment, again, sometimes men just don’t think of these little things that well… make a woman feel womanly.

So we walk into the place and he leads me to the table, pulls out my chair and we begin the catch up talk.  I told him he looked nice as well and teased him about the Wonder Woman- type cuff he had on to match his outfit.  Okay, maybe it’s because I hadn’t seen him in nearly a month, but he was looking pretty sharp.  He asked what I wanted to order (add cool points, some men may wait a little too long before asking this) and the night goes on from there.

In between sets his friend was performing, we talked and laughed and were really enjoying each other’s company until it happened.  Like someone yanking the needle of the record, he comments again how much he missed me and says “I guess this is all I can expect since you don’t want me”.

Shut the f$%k up!  Why ruin the moment with retarded comments like that, and then try to play it off like you’re saying it in jest?  Deduct 1000 cool points.

I just looked at him and told him to stop it. Saying something like that was so not his style and not too cool, so  I had to explain again (for like how many times) that our situation is what it is.  I’m interested in friendship with him, gave him the “you’re a really great guy” spill (which is true, he is) and put the needle back on the record to continue our good time.

Afterwards, the friend comes over (who by the way, sounded great AND was c-u-t-e!) and the introductions ensued.  The three of us sat there chatting about everything from worst pick up lines from men, their strategies to get a woman’s number, to having sex in the shower and what about the condoms to finding “the one”.

Aside from USBC’s minor slip up and moment of “why not me”, it was a good night.  As long as he remembers my feelings aren’t likely to change because as much as I try, I CANNOT force myself to like him in a romantic way, we’re all good.

He’s asked me to go zip lining and hiking with him.  Gotta love the adventurous side in this guy.  Just gotta love it.

Oh yeah, in addition to updating you on Hollywood, I have to share an update on Good on Paper.   *Sigh*  Such a disappointment he was, and yes, I said was.  My mind-blowing, hot, sweaty, multi-orgasmic partner is no more.  I don’t think HE know this yet since he’s sent yet another text as of today wondering why I’ve gone radio silent on him.  *Sigh*

Alright, let me stop messing up the moment of the good night out mentioned above. 


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Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!



  1. Glad you had a good night – it’s a pity about USBC’s self-pity, but I guess you know to expect that from him from time to time because he’s never likely to be truly content with just being platonic with you. He may know that you’re not going to like him in a romantic way but knowing it is not the same as being cool with it, and I bet he still carries some glimmer of hope that you might change your mind!

  2. Sounds like a fun guy. Hoping he isn’t going to end up in the “hangover” section. Speaking of, I can’t wait to see who you’re going to put in that category?

  3. AHH, the USBC title is GENIUS! I love it! Sounds like you have yourself a good friend there, and hopefully he doesn’t go sappy on you if you two go out again. Why is it always the case of “the girl liking the guy (or vice versa)who doesn’t like them back”. Weird eh?

    Can’t wait to hear more!!!!

    1. It just isn’t right Simmarah – we like them, they love us, we think they’re the “one”, they think we’re the “cool homegirl”. Sucks! Got updates on USBC as well, we went out last night. Again.

      *Sigh* Such a great guy but…….

  4. Not so fast, Carmen….USBC sounds exceptional and rare. So what if you only see him as a friend RIGHT NOW? That’s exactly what he should be! They say (and I have experienced) that the best lovers started off as friends. Don’t be so quick to dismiss him as a future hangover. Think of how many men you’ve been sexually drawn to but with no foundation to sustain it for any period of time? If you’re looking for a life partner, the one who finally fulfills that desire will be your best friend!

    1. I hear you Lateefah, loud and clear and trust me, I think about the different men who have earned a notch on my bedpost and how many were so not worth it, all I’d become sexual with while on that quest for a sustaining relationship with. USBC is probably most of what I would want in a man in a relationship, at least on the surface. He has even told me he thought I was “the one”!! Still, I just cannot bring myself to FEEL for him other than just a cool friend. At least we are developing a great friendship. Perhaps I can be like some people, learn to like someone for more than how they did in the beginning.

      Thanks for sharing!!

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