Red Flags

Creeps, losers, questionables and hopefuls

I’ve finally come up for air, and thank you to my friend who e-mailed me saying “What the hell, we need an update on this new dude”, I’m on it and will make sure I post SOMETHING even if it’s brief.  =)

I really wish the word “brief update” existed in my vocabulary but it just doesn’t.  Besides, half of you probably aren’t reading as much as you should anyway, so just start adding this to your reading log or something. 

Where do I begin?  This weekend was very eventful and interesting because several of my hangovers were involved but the highlight was my glimmer of hope, Tall Glass of Wine.  Here’s the recap:

Marcus – “I’m not the type of guy who sweats any female, if she isn’t interested I just keep it moving” is what this ghetto 2Pac had told me, but his creepy actions seem to be everything but that.  How many text messages that go without a reply, calls that go unanswered and voice messages that aren’t returned does it take to figure out someone isn’t interested in you?  Not only has he continued to send a text about every 2-3 days, he’s started calling from private numbers and leaving messages but the grand pooba of actions was from Saturday morning.  This loser sends me a text that says “you and your sexy a$$ legs, even though you won’t return my calls I still have photos of you to look at… Hahaha”.  Uh… w-e-i-r-d-o.

Special Agent – I’d pretty much written him off as a hangover when I posted Another One Bites the Dust (, but every now and then we’ll exchange a text message or two but Saturday we talked for a good while.  I told him for the salvation of my ego I NEEDED to know why he’d fallen off when things seem to be going so well between us.  Sure, the distance (he lives about 2 hours away) was a factor we both had discussed but really, I wanted to know why he’d just given up.  When I noticed he was at a loss for words on the reasoning (which is rare, trust me, he’s WORSE with his mouth than I am), I decided to throw him a life vest and I told HIM what his problem was.  Funny, I was right and he agreed with my assessment.  What happens next?  Probably nothing but in the back of my mind, I’m still wondering if anything could materialize with this one.  Only time AND actions will tell so for now, next!

Rescue 911 – I keep saying I’ll give you the background on this one, but let’s just say he’s always had a special place in my heart.  We talk, a lot.  I’ve seen him the past couple of weekends and we’ve even had that “here’s what happened in the relationship” discussion which was really enlightening.  Just as I was asking above with Special Agent, it helps to talk about things like this because if in the event I was the problem (sorry folks, this may sound like a crock, but I’m NEVER the problem, it’s always THE MEN), I’d like to know for the next time around.  In any event, there are two main problems with Rescue.  One, he’s an ex-boyfriend and I think dealing with those from your past is lame and two; he just relocated back to California and while separated, is still married.   This one is really a no brainer, but he’s an event from the weekend so I had to mention him.

Good on Paper – The expression on my face when I received an e-mail from him would have been priceless.  There has been no contact with GOP since I told him I needed to refocus, and since I’ve got a friendly wager going with two of my girlfriends betting that he will NOT contact me, I’m so ready to prove them wrong.  So when I received an e-mail from him late last week, they gave me a pass that it probably doesn’t count.  He’d sent a basic message, nothing in the subject line, to my work e-mail address (totally out of character) and it was something totally left field – an e-mail about a training seminar for technology.  Really?  I know nothing about that, so I chopped it up as one of two things:  1. an accidental e-mail addressed to me from his phone book OR 2.  A lame attempt to send me something that would elicit a “was this meant for me” type of reply.  What do you think?

Tall Glass of Wine – After today, he’ll be officially known as TGW so for any readers coming on after this, better figure out the acronyms!   Ah…. Where do I begin?  I’m really feeling this man and from what I hear, see and feel, it’s mutual.  Friday night we hooked up on a whim, completely unplanned as I knew he had to work late and I’d made plans with a friend for sushi.   Several text message exchanges later, I was dashing out of the restaurant back home for a quick change and met up at his house. 

Our date officially began at about 10pm and ended at about 4:30 the next morning and yes, that’s exactly how our first date went and as with last weekend, I had a superfantabulousterrificdocious time.  Yeah, I just made that up.  =)

So how do I condense 6 hours of a great date?  I guess I can just assign a rating for the important categories that made it another successful night using a rating scale of 1-10:

Communication – The fact that he’s not violated Penal Code FU1234 of the Carmen Dating rule by breaking the lines of communication by letting days go by without contact is a super plus.  Consistency.  He realizes that I’m just as busy as he is, but also knows at some point a text message needs to turn into a telephone call so I love the fact that we’re on the same page in that regard.  10 points.

Planning – As I mentioned above, Friday night wasn’t planned but when we did agree to see each other, once again, I didn’t have to worry about being the person who always plans the where to!  He was prepared with two options, I chose the Standard in downtown LA and an hour later, the night began.  10 points.

Attention to detail –  Again, it should be a no brainer on extending compliments to your date so as soon as he saw me, he told me he liked what I’d put together in such short notice and once we arrived at our destination, commented that I’d dressed well for the occasion.  I returned the compliment as well; I knew from the night I met him that throwing together something to wear was one of his good qualities.  10 points.

Communication – I would be writing all day, our conversations are great.  He’s easy to talk to, a likeable guy and is uber friendly without being annoying and is a comedian.  We both recognize each other’s talents for getting into character when mimicking someone.  I mean come on, how often do you come across someone who’s so equally stoked?  10 points.

PDA – Absolutely no complaints!  You know sometimes a person may not be as affectionate when in a public place, especially if you’re not established or new?  Well, you wouldn’t have known that this was only our third meeting and second date.  We weren’t “go get a room” all over each other, but hugged and shared a few kisses at just the right pace.  10 points.

Expenditures – TGW knows how to have a great time and spares no expense.  Still, being the type of woman that I am, if I’m feeling a guy and having a good time, I have no problems dipping into my wallet either.  I took care of the first round of drinks and offered to cover parking afterwards.   10 points.

Damn, two pages!!  I’ll stop there.  I know I’m like a schizo giving you the hangovers then the ray of hope story, but now you know.

Until there’s a cure for my hangovers…

Carmen ~

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Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!



  1. Ummm…what is the bedroom rating? r at least the fooling around rating?? A date that lastd till 430, something was bound to happen!!! 😉

    1. Oh Esme, I love how you’re asking what several had asked offline!

      No nookie as of yet, but the kissing sessions are rated at about a 10++!

      I know I’m not the only who does this, but for some reason I still believe in trying to hold out until I’m sure the man is worthy of these goodies.

      Still, a couple more of those end of the date lip marathons, its going down.

      Mmm, something about his lips. So warm and soft. Have you ever kissed someone and had what felt like electric currents running through your body??

      Hmm…. Yeah, Im going to sleep with those lips on my mind tonight!

  2. Oh wow, sounds like a busy weekend! I feel like I am in a drought right now so glad to hear someone has a groove going!

    Wondering why you’re trying to do the waiting game? Has it worked in the past for you, meaning you waited some ridiculous time before hooking up?

    Holding out hope on the wine guy, sounds like a winner!!!

  3. Ooh I love the kisses with spark, those are just so satisfying… I’m happy to read that TGW is turning out to be quite the 10/10. I’m with Esme … a date until 4:30am had to have some snookie snookie 😉 hehe.

  4. I like how you explained that you’d rate each category from 1 to 10 and then gave him 10 in every one – awesome! I hope we’ll be hearing more and more about him and less and less about the others!

  5. Well, well… Glad to hear things are going fine! I dont think you’ve mentioned the other two from the fantastic four, and lmao at ghetto 2PAC. Classic.

    Consistency is good especially in this stage of the friendship.

    So… Is he a keeper? Relationship material??

  6. Yay! Glad to hear things are working out with this one and obviously, since you’ve not mentioned the others from the fantastic four, not much to say about them.

    Alright, while we await the nookie alert is this one a keeper? As in relationship material??

  7. Interesting descriptions and glad I stopped by. I thought I’d stumbled on a male-bashing site but I see you’re just sharing experiences. Good to see a woman’s perspective that isn’t all slanted to everything a man might be doing wrong. Hope it goes well with this one.

  8. LOL @ the nookie alert! Well Jesse, I don’t know yet. We’ve touched on that “what are you looking for” topic, and I was pretty direct that I was looking for something long-term and serious. His reply? The way I interpret it was, he was interested in the same thing but his didn’t sound as iminent as mine, so I’d have to say NO. Can’t say that he’s a keeper just yet.

  9. Welcome Silver Fox! Bashing? Hmm, not yet. Give me a minute in case this latest turns into a hangover then you might be a little turned off! Ha!

    But seriously, no need for bad or distasteful things to be said about either sex. We’re both messing up the dating game and making things harder to get to that place where the majority of us want to be.

    Thanks and please visit again.

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