Ooooh how I love the ability to post from my Crackberry, so here I am, live and direct coming to you from Lynwood, California.
For you local boys and girls- hell NO, I do not frequent this area at all. Just so happens this car wash was en route to the freeway.
Enter my encounter with the Dr. Dre. No, not THE rapper himself, but with the exception of that yellowed front tooth, he’s the best look alike ever.
As I’m exiting the cashier, Dre says “Hello, how are you” as I’m walking past him and I reply with a quick “Fine, thanks” and keep it moving to the seating area outside.
Several benches and tons of seating spaces but of course, Dre makes his way over to me.
Before I go further, I’ll ask this- are there any other signs of don’t-bother-me-or-talk to me other than doing the following on a public place:
– listening to your music player
– talking on the phone
Just wondering cause NONE of them really seem to work.
Anyway, Dre starts up by complimenting me on my fragrance, telling me I not only look nice but smell great. “It’s Perry Ellis”, I tell him and thank him. The end. Back to texting.
“So what do you do?”. “Mediation”, I reply, “you?”. He says he’s a music producer. I say “oh, okay”. The end. Back to texting.
“I know you’ve got a man or someone special at home waiting for you”. I nod and smile and say “yes, I do”.
“You married or engaged?? It sucks, all the good women are taken it seems”. I tell him neither and he says “Oh no, you’ve got one of those cowardly punks who won’t commit to you.”
Hmm, commitment issues?
I tell him I do have a special someone but until his situation gets ironed out, I can’t commit. Bigggggggg mistake. I fucked around and gave this dude a ray of hope and he then swoons in for the kill, macking skills moved to def con level 7.
Here’s his chance to tell me about HIS situation.
Dre is divorced, has 8 children with the ex-wife (married or not, NEXT!!!) and is in a situation but he’s trying to get out of it. But can’t. Yeah, how many times have we heard THIS one?
Tells me how unhappy he is with this older woman and mentions he’d recently bought her a new car just to stop her from bickering. Says he’s a man of God and loves attending church regularly, but that his woman doesn’t set foot inside ANY church but he can’t understand why they’re values are so different. Really? You’re sleeping with Lucifer’s Mistress every night and are confused?
He then adds his “I’m really a good man” spill but telling me he’s not too bad and doesn’t bring women home nor does he stay out all night.
But it’s this situation he just can’t get away from.
Please understand, NONE of this information was solicited. Instead my ears were being molested with bullshit as I prayed the little carwash worker would hurry the hell up.
After he’s pedaled his number to me, asked for a lunch date and told me what a remarkable woman I was (all this from a few Q&A’s on the carwash bench??), he let it slip that his situation was a little more. He’s been with the woman for FIFTEEN years. Engaged for TEN years.
And the kicker? He’s just still not sure if she’s the one he should marry.
Needless to say, I am not impressed and obviously he is talking so much, he’s not noticing I’m over here acting like a courtroom transcriber, typing away.
It does not matter where I meet men, they are simply retarded!!! So go to hell, you naysayers who say it’s online only where you meet gems like Dre.
Hooray!!!! That little red towel just went up in the air. And I’m out!