Week in Review

I’m a little hungover (literally, not just from the dating scene), so I’ll try to make this brief. Do you ever feel as if some of the things that happen in your life are part of some type of reality show or practical joke? That’s pretty much how my week can be summed up and while it is not my intent for this to be a male bashing post, those winners accounted for many of my wow moments.

In case anyone is wondering (still) why I’m single, allow me to provide a few examples of the type crap I had to ensure this week alone:

Monday – Rescue 911 isn’t talked about all that much, but I sometimes feel like how we’re carrying on is too much like a relationship without well, the relationship. He’s a great guy, we get along well and he’s always had a special place in my heart but after the weekends events I woke up that morning and the first thing that came to my mind was “What ARE you doing?” I’m wondering how much longer I could deal with him and HIS situation. Sure, I understand he’s recently relocated and has to basically start over with everything from scratch, but how patient am I? When will separated but not yet divorced no longer be acceptable for me? I don’t like this in between shit and am sure as hell not going to break off the dating routine and commit to someone who is technically/legally still committed to another woman. Tick tock, tick tock. Time will tell.

Tuesday – Well I already told you about Dr. Dre (the dude who expected me to drop my number and panties at hearing he was a music producer), but that experience is still fresh in my mind. Dre is the prime example of a man beyond his 40’s but with the mentality of a man in his 20’s, still not ready to settle down. Telling me that he’d been with the same woman for 15 years was probably supposed to earn him some brownie points in the commitment department, and having been engaged for 10 of those years should have sealed the deal that he was the one for a woman like me. Sorry fellas, staying with someone that long and not being even remotely interested in marriage is called a roommate. I understand marriage isn’t for everyone and that many have no desire for it but that isn’t me. I’m still holding out hope for my hyphenated name, filing and insurance beneficiary status and unconditional love for my life partner.

Wednesday – Maybe there was a new holiday I wasn’t yet aware of, but this day became known as Retards Unite and good old POF is where they ALL appeared simultaneously. Surely you can tell by my frankness on here that my profile is probably pretty direct and to the point, with a dash of sarcasm but still light hearted, right? Still, I get the same types of messages from the losers who obviously don’t READ my profile because if they did, they wouldn’t attempt to contact me. I could go on and on about this, but here are the best of the worst from this ONE day:

– “Hola negrita”. Really? I guess it sounds better with the feminine “a” on the end?

– Three messages from a user named Hung Carlo. Can I assume he’s Asian instead of a well-endowed Chicano?

– “Ho are you”. Is he calling me a ho as part of his introductory message? Not useng spall chick et layme.

Just a couple and again, in one day but I would be remiss if I didn’t share this gem of a message with you:

“Hi there. My name is Jeff. Just looking to meet someone fun and open-minded, for afternoon phone play 🙂 Love masturbation and would love to find a trust-worthy partner to share orgams”.

Hmm…

Thursday – “Hi meanie, I’m over here near your house at the mall. What’s been up with you?” from Sybil’s Brother. No words for this and no, I didn’t reply.

Friday – The week ended with a spat with Rescue, a few exchanges with some other random guys and the night ended with a guy wondering why his 4 trips to the bar, stumbling and drunken speech caused me to say “I’ll pass) when he asked to exchange numbers.

On a lighter note, there is a bright spot. We have a new candidate on the horizon I’m going to name “The Calm”.