You don’t.
This was my answer to a friend who tossed out this question earlier this evening. I feel for her because she’s fresh meat to the dating drama.
Many of us are such in a state of feeling “men suck balls” or “women are crazy as hell” that when we come across someone who is seemingly decent, we tend to give out hall passes for things we probably shouldn’t.
I made this mistake with the koo koo for cocoa puffs hangover named Full Metal Jacket.
A jealous man or woman is a red flag.
Run. Control- Alt- Delete. Leave them alone.
Some snippets of this guy’s prized behavior?
He complained that she’s always talking to other men. Somehow a general conversation with THEIR classmate seemed disrespectful?
He says she’s too flirtatious, so saying “Thank you” to the guy at Subway as he hands over her change is doing too much huh?
When mentioned the number of times she’s checked her phone for messages, I guess he was showing how attentive he was?
As if the two examples above weren’t signs of a control freak, when she told me her knight in shining foil said he was “deathly” afraid of losing her, that sealed the deal for me.
I told her she needed to get rid of him and ASAP.
Oh, and I forgot to ask her how long did it take for these true colors to shine through. Either way, with each example given, she already knew the answer.
There is nothing attractive, cute or endearing about a person who is confusing obsessive and controlling behavior with care and concern.
Instead if they always need to be with you, know where you are when they aren’t with you, is always asking you questions without producing any answers themselves, and tries to force you to do something (then guilt you if you resist), then you’re dealing with nothing more than a jealous person.
These behaviors are only the beginning.
Run. Control-Alt-Delete. Leave them alone.
Carmen~
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Totally agree. Stating that he’s deathly afraid would have made me deathly afraid to continue…lol
Lol, that’s what I said Melzie. Not that loving and being afraid to lose someone after a couple months of dating isn’t possible, but deathly?
He up’d the weirdo factor by 1,000 points!
OMG, I hope she runs away!!! Get out girl!! Hurry!!!!!
Deal breaker, big time.
You’re right about confusing controlling behavior with care. Maybe if I was like 18 years-old and naive to the dating situation, but as an adult? I get the hell out of dodge.
I was involved with a very jealous man who’s very pleasure was keeping tabs on everything I did. He wasn’t subtle either, just flat out told me I belonged to him, making it okay.
I let things go on for a few months because while I was annoyed with being checked on, I liked the “I’m sorry baby” gifts and things that would followed if hr took it too far.
It isn’t worth it.
I’m sorry baby gifts? Yeah, that’s just a sign of things to come.
I think of Ike Turner bringing a bouquet of roses before smashing in Tina’s face.
Extreme example but jealousy escalates.
You know, I’ve been thinking about this post a lot. I kbow so many women who mistake creepy jealousy for proof of love. He wouldn’t be angry if he didn’t love me. When in reality its more like a five year old boy who doesn’t want anyone else to play with his toys. My toy! Mine! You no touch. Its ridiculous and unnecessary.
Yep, I thought about this again as well and agree. If you even have to ask about dealing with someone’s jealous ways, you already know the answer.
Knowing what you choose to deal with (for those who are confusing this behavior with care), just be prepared for all that will surely follow.
We’ve got enough crap to deal with just trying to get along when dating, you sure as hell don’t need someone with Ike Turner tendencies!