Red FlagsRelationship 101THIS is Why I'm Single!Uncategorized

Ssh… I’ve got a secret

In true procrastinating-blogger-who-makes-excuses-acting-like-posts-by-cell-are-impossible fashion, I’m going to apologize.

Has it really been a week already? Damn, where are my nights and days going.

Oh wait- I know. Rescue 911.

Two songs popped into my head while I was on the treadmill a few moments ago. The first was “My Little Secret” by Xscape but no- that one doesn’t exactly fit.

The second was “If Loving You Is Wrong” by Barbara Mandrell. I liked the lyrics a little better, not screaming “whore!!!” Like the Xscape song but still- not quite fitting to my situation.

I’ve been contemplating for quite some time about sharing my philanderings with Rescue.

He’s like my dirty little secret. Kind of like masturbating in a public place. It feels absolutely wonderful, makes me happy and is fulfilling but at the same time, I feel a little ashamed.

You’ve only heard about him in spurts; a mention in The Dating Resume and maybe an update somewhere but never really in detail.

Rescue makes me happy, makes me laugh, understands me, is affectionate, a great lover, communicates with me, shares his dreams, likes Prince, accepts me and all my flaws, understands my love of a wig collection, and above all – is my friend.

The problem?

He’s married and although he’s separated and living some 3,000 miles away from the wife, he’s still married. Hitched. Attached. Linked. Someone’s tax filing partner. Not single.

Don’t judge me before you read the details and even after reading, don’t judge me. Simply try to understand.

I’ve already asked and told myself the same things you would normally say to a woman in this situation. Trust me, I’ve probably even made up a few you haven’t thought of.

Before I go into the details of how I allowed myself to become so emotionally intertwined with him (again), I should first take you back to the beginning of when we first met in April 2007.

More to come, but for now- I’ve got an appointment with the Stairmaster!

Carmen ~

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Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!



  1. I don’t think there is anything to judge you by. He is obviously separated, and is moving on. Don’t feel like you are doing anything wrong, and don’t let anyone tell you that you are. Hell…I dated a lot before my shit was finalized…

    1. Thank you for that Esme. It’s a different situation for me and because (1) we tend to talk to much, soliciting advice and just sharing our experiences and (2) read too many blogs, articles and the like, my mind is pretty clouded in doubt.

      Then again, as I came to terms with this situation over the weekend realized there are no guarantees. I could get screwed (literally and figuratively) by a married man OR by a single man.

      Hope you’re getting all settled in. πŸ™‚

  2. So you’re just going to leave us hanging like that? I’m waiting to hear the beginning, middle and… well guess I can’t say the ending since you’re still in the mix but will look for the details.

    Yes, separated does STILL mean married but people handle this transition differently.

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