Phase 3- The “I don’t know how I feel” moment

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To say that this past week has been rough would be a gross understatement.

I haven’t been shedding tears of “my relationship is crappy and pretty much over, but more “this whole wanting to be with someone is crappy”. Actually, I take that back – the crying has pretty much subsided and has been replaced with an attitude of indifference.

Rescue has issues that need to be worked out and as much as he keeps trying to convince me that WE are okay, I beg to differ.

Selfishness or love?

Which is it when someone knows they’re not right for you OR need to work on themselves before trying to be with you but don’t want to let you go?

Well I’ll tell you this blog world- I really don’t care which it is.

I don’t care about Rescue’s need to get himself together.

I don’t care that I’ve been asking that he return my house key for a week, and he’s not done so in a futile attempt to use it as leverage for holding on (I guess).

I don’t care right now but I DO care about my future happiness.

Last night, I was invited out for drinks with a former hangover – Tall Glass of Wine. I’ll definitely have to share how the evening went though in short – we HAD a great time. Really great time.

Remember how I said it seemed as if the world knew about my doomed relationship?

Ironically, in the very same day that Tall Glass contacted me, I received a “hello stranger” text message from “The Calm”. I may be having a senior moment with his pseudonym so forgive me, but he was the producer who seemed to be nearly all that I would want in a man. Sort of.

Okay, again, more to come on the exchanges with these two but for now- permission for a hiatus from writing for a week or so.

Why?

In about 72 hours I will be boarding a flight to Jamaica.

I don’t know if I’ll be like Stella getting her groove back.

Carmen’s posting with WordPress for BlackBerry.