The Best Lovers Ever- Contender # 2

Day 2 of the New Year has been quite productive and I’m not even trying.

I have been relaxing and camped out at my Mom’s house and went through all of my old e-mails I’d been meaning to read, save or delete, balanced the checkbook, made my to-do lists, and of course – checked out a couple of blog posts that I’d been slacking on reading (though I still have quite a few more to catch up on).  When it  was time to move on to doing some organizing, I cam across several MDH drafts I meant to post last year, but never got around to posting them.

One of them was titled “The Best Lovers Ever” and from what I can see, January 24th was the last time I’d attempted to put this up in response to Esme and Simmarah’s tantalizing accounts of their sexual escapades from the past.  Forgive me for not doing it because I was busy doing the dating and dreadful relationship thing.  What was I thinking?

So I figured, what the hell – while I’m dealing with my downtime before deciding how soon I want to get into the dating scene again, I’ll proably have lots of time for filler posts and sure, this  one will probably be one of those TMI moments but so what.   I have always wanted to rate these men because I’m sure they’re doing the same thing for women.

Now before I get into this let me explain that this is a complete deviation from the initial project which was to list ALL of the partners I’ve had but I must say, once I started going through the “Book” I’d stumbled on last year and then started ADDING names to it from the last 10 years or so, I found that ____ was just a teeny weeny bit too high to divulge so I had to scale it back.  Big time.

Don’t judge me.

But to be honest, it was pretty interesting digging back into the archives of my memories, reminiscing, getting chills or the shivers (depending
on it being a good or sucky experience) and realized if I wanted to get all scientific with it, my work experience isn’t THAT bad since it spans over 20 some years.  Interesting – I saw some definite patterns and while I knew there were some years when I was a little “spirited” my college years between 2005 and 2007 have shown that I was a hot mess.  And yes, I sure did say work experience.

So even though this is supposed to be a list of the greatest of all time, the men who rocked my world, knocked my socks off and blew back my wig, I’m going to do this post solely on the contender who comes in at # 2 on The Best I Ever Had list of lovers who goes by the name of “Papi”.

Perhaps it was by chance that I left the first New Years Eve party for something a little more exciting than my first destination.  Perhaps it was by chance that I arrived at a second party and as soon as I walked in, I noticed this chocolate, thin but solid frame and mass of black curls, stylishly dressed with a bow tie to boot.  As I sauntered up behind him to say hello, Papi turned, flashed that million dollar smile and greeted me with a juicy kiss on the cheek.  I smiled back and whispered in his ear that I was disappointed after 14 years, he’d failed to wish me a happy birthday. to which he replied he was sorry and added that he really liked a recent photo I had posted on Facebook but was afraid the  type of comment he wanted to add there might have caused a little controversy.  I just smiled.

A few moments later, I walked away and followed up with a text saying “Make sure you say goodbye before you leave” to which he replied “I’m going with you after we leave from here”.


I liked how that sounded and quietly smiled to myself before putting my phone away to take in the sights and enjoy the rest of this New Years Eve party.  A few hours later (around 5am to be exact), I was texting him a reminder of the exit he needed to take to get to me and replied “Yes, I’m ready”.

Sometimes I really don’t understand why men make a big deal out of lingerie and why women worry about matching the bra and panties or having something really sexy on because in my experience, those garments stay on for a maximum of about 22.3 seconds.  What’s the point?  Just for presentation?  Whatever the case, in the wee hours of Sunday morning, that lingerie countdown was probably more like 10 seconds because as soon as he walked into the bedroom, his clothes magically disappeared and within two swift moves, we were both completely naked.

Within a few moments,  I felt my body being barraged with a series of deep tongue kisses, followed by slow and methodical caressing down my neck, across my breasts, my inner thighs – there wasn’t any part of my body that wasn’t being touched.  But of course, he saved the kissing of the honey pot for the last part of this tantalizing session of forplay and just before he does something that has clasping the sheets,  tells me “I need to get reacquainted and make sure I remember how you taste”.

I’m trying not to get all hot and bothered remembering that moment, but I have been having flashbacks for almost two days.  Not only does this man take his time (but not too slow) making sure I am enjoying every moment of what is going on, he talks to me.  You see, I enjoy the interaction when being intimate with a man which includes being vocal as well, so when he can reciprocate by talking to me, telling me what I want and need to hear and what he wants, likes and what feels good, it is even more of a turn on than the physical act itself.


This way, that way.  This end of the bed, that end of the bed.  Facing him, my back to him.  Legs over here, legs touching my chest.  My body had been transformed into that of an acrobat, flexing me into the types of positions I figured should be followed by an “Oohhhhmmmmm” but instead “Oooh Papi” was being mumbled during the moments where I wasn’t moaning or talking dirty to him.

I could go on and on but when I pause to think again about that night, I get chills and start smiling at the flashbacks.  I could go on but my Mother just walked by and asked “Gosh, are you over there typing a book?  And what do you keep smiling at?”.

Instead, I’ll end my moment here and just say that my encounter with him was a very nice start to the new year and as I mentioned in my last post, it ended with me staring up at the ceiling, exhausted.   In a good way.

I’ve just gone back to the start of this and realized I completely digressed from the simple format this SHOULD have been in, so since I will return with the rest of the top 5 contenders at a later date, here is why Papi comes in at # 2:

NAME:   Aye Papi

STATS:   A fellow Capricorn (one of few who aren’t crazy), a year older, about 5’9,  college educated and one of the most intellectual men I know of.  Teaches and moonlights as a sports broadcaster, no children and has the most gorgeous chocolate and smooth complexions I have ever seen.

Our Story:  My VERY FIRST F buddy and I met in college but didn’t discover each other’s inner freak until after we graduated.  Papi is memorable for many reasons but physically, he was different than normal type.  He was a nice piece of sweet, dark chocolate; lean but nicely
chiseled with a NY accent.  I was turned on not only by him and his Abercrombie & Fitch style of dress, constantly changing hairstyles (this man looks good with everything from a short fade to a thick mass of curls free flowing and even a Mohawk),  ubber hygienic habits (first man I had known to have a shaved pubic area), his body, tongue and of course the D – but by his mind.  Papi is quite the intelligent one, can carry a conversation and has a wide array of knowledge about different things, people and cultures.  Plus, he and I love to exchange ghetto names and sayings just for shi#s and giggles.

Can’t Forget:  Papi was the first man to never tell me no when I wanted it, whether it was 3am or 2pm, if he had to be at work in 3 hours or was tired from working 12 hours.  I always got it when I wanted and needed and was never unhappy with the services rendered.  Papi was the first to help me to be comfortable with my body, loving my flaws and all, especially after having given birth to my child.  He was the first to introduce me to bondage; the first time he kissed the honey pot with my hands cuffed behind my back? WOW.  WOW.  WOW.  The first who made sure I went home completely satisfied, caring about my needs and wants and being certain that I had more than just two or three orgasms.  He was the first AND only person I have ever experienced it in a doctor’s office, on a bed meant for exams with the stirrups and all.  The first person I’ve experienced voyeruism with as we allowed his friend to watch our forplay in action in the back seat and again at the doctor’s office.  To have someone watching you and being able to enjoy the splendor of it all as their eyes light up like a child opening gifts on Christmas day is priceless.  Last but certainly not least – Papi was the first I was able to have experienced the  oh-so-fabulous multi-orgasmic moments.  There are some women who have never even had one, let alone multiples back to back.

Best Features:  Lips, tongue, Ken Doll-styled body and of course, his passionate way of handling a woman’s delicate body.

Where Is He Now:   Had I posted this a year ago it would say “We used to get “reacquainted” on our birthdays every year if we were single,  he is now married, though separated and we’ve not gone there since 2009.  If you’re wondering how I could describe this type of man and he not have been anything more than a just a F Buddy, we did try to go out on an actual date once but the chemistry wasn’t there so we stuck
with what we did best together”.

The Nookie Rating:  2nd Place


So there you have it, my second place contender for some of the best I have ever had.  Although I am now single (2 months but who’s counting), I should still be able to enjoy something I love doing right?  At least I’m not adding to the “Book” with any random hook ups.

Until there’s a cure for the hangovers, may my body continue being pleased with moments such as this.

Carmen ~


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Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!



  1. Holy shit, girlfriend! If that is number two, I can’t wait to read about #1! Muy caliente…

    There is something amazing about that guy you can be sexually open with! I saw a saying once that said ‘Every girl is a freak, it just takes the right guy to bring it out’. Apropos, no?

    1. I know, I know… And yes- that is absolutely correct because I never knew so many sexual “behaviors” were inside.

      Papi was never one to blur the lines of what each others purpose was, such as in the case of Good on Paper.

      Besides him acting right as a F Buddy, he would ask questions. Find out what Carmen wanted instead of taking the one-penis-fits-all approach.

      The only reason, and the only reason I can say he didn’t come in at # 1 in light of the many firsts? I was never in love with him.

      As corny as it may sound, love can make a tremendous difference between a wham bam of a time and a I love everything you do when WE make love type of feeling.

      Yeah, a couple of folks have e-mailed and/or texted me today telling me their undies were a little er … Moist. 🙂

      1. I have heard being in this thing called ‘love’ can make a world of a difference when it comes to having sex. I hope to experience it one day!

        1. This thing called love makes a world of difference. I recently had one of those “tears falling” moments during a Rescue session. In addition to everything else going on with your body at the time, when you’re in love, everything seems amplified to the 10th power.

          Your day is coming little grasshopper. 🙂

  2. Well damn! That’s how you ring in the new year! I would be grinning like a cheshire chat if I ever saw a write up about my skills like that.

    1. Silver, believe it or not, I sent it to him. I truly was getting turned on (again) writing about him, so I shared the post.

      Needless to say, he was flattered.

      After he jokingly told me I’d given him a few inches more than his actualy height, he said he was happy to hear that he could have given me all the things I’d mentioned.

      Nice to share the positives like this.

      Just imagine how nice a place this world would be if a man told a woman off the cuff that “she made him feel…”

  3. Wow! I feel like I just read an excerpt from an old Jackie Collins book (yep, I’m dating myself).

    Hey, I agree with you. If you can’t have the dream man and relationship, you can at least enjoy the type of excitement intimately most people IN relationships could only dream of.

    1. Okay Jessie, you went there?? Would that be “Chances” or “Lucky? Ha!

      I enjoy the experiences from the Papi’s and Good on Paper types but haven’t completely (only about 52%) given up on the prospect of finding a great man who can even wing it in the intimacy department, but have the other major qualities a woman needs and deserves.

      Thanks for reading, as always.

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