What Do You Do For Work?

The following is an actual conversation that took place yesterday between me and the newest hangover who will be known as “The Specialist”. and none of the verbiage has been exaggerated or change in anyway for effect.

This message will self destruct in 20 seconds:

The Specialist: “Hey Carmen, I was trying to talk to you for a bit before I went to bed. I’ve got to be at my other job in a few hours”.

Me: “Oh yeah? It sounds like you work a lot, what is it that you do?”

The Specialist: “Oh, well- I work for AEG. You know the large entertainment group.”

Me: “Yes, I know what they do and they own the Nokia theatre etc… But what is it that you do for them?”

The Specialist: “You see, I work in their surveillance team. I have to wear this really cool uniform and scope out the scene.”

Me: “Oh yeah? You’ve got me picturing Men in Black or something.”

The Specialist: “Well we have to check different areas so I’m really an Enforcement Specialist. I make sure no one is entering areas without proper access, handle crowd control and secure the premises.”

Me: “Okay, so… it sounds like you’re a security guard?”

Specialist: “Well yeah, I guess you can say I’m a security guard.”


Specialist: “… And then my second job…. I work two because uh.. I like to have all of my bills taken care of and have extra money.”

Me: “I can understand that; so what do you do AT the second job?”

Specialist: “I uh…I’m in charge of checking to ensure people have proper identification, make sure no one is getting out of control in line…”


Why is this fool dancing around the fact that he is a security guard, period? There’s no dressing it up, glorifying it or anything else. It is what it is and how you make your living, so own up to it.

I kind of figured, but wasn’t sure because in one of his profile pictures, he was standing in some type of uniform but it wasn’t clear. Damn fuzzy pictures but seriously- who would post a photo of themselves in a guard uniform? It IS a uniform but it isn’t like you’re a firefighter or even an EMT. I really think this man has dreams of becoming the next Antoine Fisher or something.

Does it really matter what type of job the person has you are interested in dating or may be dating?

If he or she has a job that is blue collar and you’re a corporate monster, a they are doing work that is beneath you or something you would be embarrassed to do is that a problem for you?

Or are one of those people with a job you would be ashamed to tell a woman about? Embellish what it is that you do or worse, lie?

This interaction with The Specialist really makes me wonder if he was just full of himself and believed something like tactical operations is the same as changing the batteries in his flashlight. Or maybe this is how he explains his job to women to sound important.

Should it matter what a person has or is it just a good thing that they have a paycheck coming in that isn’t issued by EDD?

Interestingly enough, Jersey Boy and I had this same conversation when we met up. He was telling me about a woman he met at Walmart who led him on but not sharing that she was married with children. I figured he met her in aisle 9 but no- he met her at REGISTER 9, and commented “Men don’t really trip off of that kind of stuff, most don’t care where a woman works.”. Then he went further and said “I know my role as a man which is to be a provider for the woman I am involved with; besides, I do pretty well for myself so she wouldn’t have to worry about any of that”.

Sounds good to me and the part of what Jersey said was about his role- as a provider.

In contrast, there’s the same discussion about this subject that Special Agent and I had a while back. I made a comment about him being good looking, smart, successful and still single because his expectations were sky high. Naturally, he refuted this statement but did mention there being certain qualities he looked for, particularly a woman’s finances before he would even consider dating her.

I remember asking hypothetically if he met a beautiful woman (I’m talking Halle Berry gorgeous), who was smart, with an amazing body and worked as a cashier at Target, would that work? Special Agent’s reply was “No, what can she do for me?”. I upped the function a bit and asked if her being a manager would be better? Nope, same reply.

I’m in the middle on the issue because I have shot down shearing technicians (barbers), sanitation specialists (trash men), and education liaisons (child day care) in the past. Was it the “what can you do for me” mentality that Special Agent is fixed on? Or maybe it was the “I don’t want to wear out my arm reaching for my wallet each time” mentality.

Does it really matter what someone does for a living? Are women more hung up on it than men?

Whichever the case, this Enforcement Specialist doesn’t have a chance and no- it isn’t because he’s a rent-a-cop. The very first conversations we had even before careers had been mentioned turned me off. He told me the types of women he was normally attracted to were the exotic type. For a black man to say that the literal translation is “women who are not black”. Next…

Until there’s a cure for the hangovers…

Carmen Jones

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Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!



  1. Cracked up at “tactical operations is the same as changing the batteries in his flashlight”. LOL

    Honestly, I used to have a serious hangup about this. Of course I’d like to think it’s because I’ve done what I had to in order to get a degree, buy a house, etc. If we’re just kicking it, this probably doesn’t matter but long-term…? Working two jobs means he probably won’t have time, and at 41….that’s just not even cool in my book. Perhaps that’s why I’m stilllll single, huh?

    1. Ding, ding, ding, ding!
      That’s right Mel; since you wanted to go and get education and a good job, now you’re expectations are a bit higher than the average 20 year-old.

      Okay, truth moment- I try to get over the titles thing. I shot down many barbers because I knew there would be an issue if we tried dating and things went south, then suddenly my child stepped out of the chair looking like Zorro! Conflict of interest BUT the reality is that if he is low on clients and isn’t taking home enough because he’s cutting in between cell phone calls, trash talking, food breaks and flirting with women, I wonder if he’s able to invest in dating me. Lol! Kidding but there’s some truth to this.

      The working multiple jobs thing is THE worst. Jekyll did it and so did Rescue and while I certainly like the amenities a surplus of money can provide, I would much rather have the time and flexibility in dealings with my men instead.


      Future Spinster 🙂

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