Wheels on The Bus

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

How about a little background on the latest candidate, Tiny Tim.

The irony of the name is befitting when thinking of this tall, dark and chocolate hangover. He’s another big one, standing at a staggering 6’5 and is solid muscle, a gentle giant of sorts. His nice, warm smile and skin as smooth as a Milky Way bar is what made me stop to check him out when receiving my first message. Somewhat of a health fanatic, Tiny works out several times a week and feeds his body nothing but healthy foods and is a moderate drinker. For those of you who know me, you already know that his healthy ways are uh… Quite the opposite from my lifestyle. Still, Tiny seemed like a nice guy and the online messaging began.

Admittedly, things between he and I started off pretty well; then again, nearly all of them do. Since my expectations nowadays are about as high as the tooth fairy stopping by to pick up my wisdom teeth, nothing really surprises with the whole online dating experience. Fortunately, my encounters haven’t been a complete disappointment and waste of money, so I was pleasantly surprised by the easy flow of exchanges and Tiny’s cut to the chase approach when asking for a numbers exchange the same day.

Since I could tell that Tiny was on board with a sense of humor as well, I asked if he was up for a little trivia BEFORE I agreed to give him my number.

Here was his pop quiz:

Which of the following is correct if you were to text me?

1. Ware would you like to met up?
2. Where wood you like to meet up?
3. Wear would you like to meet up?
4.We’re wood you like to meet up?

The fact that he replied with “LOL, you’re nuts” was funny and showed me he took it for what it was, and I was giddy when he finally replied “NONE”.

Say what you want about my grammar peeves, but some of these grown ass men are two clicks from being illiterate. My fourth grader should not be able to spell and write better than an adult, I’m sorry.

Alright, so we exchange numbers and the first couple of attempts at talking are hit or miss. Tiny leaves a voice message finally and I’m wondering if it is just me or what- when you see an image of someone with that kind of stature, are you a little surprised when their voice doesn’t match? They have a little too much treble and not enough bass? Or if someone is short and petite and they sound like Barry White instead? Just wondering and since my guy is the jolly giant, I’m sure you can figure out which one applies to him.

Finally, we’re able to have that initial conversation and man- it was a bitch catching up with him. The only thing I knew is that he sleeps during the day and works the graveyard shift from 7pm until 7am or so the following morning. I can already see how interesting this will be because when he called me it was almost 11pm. I wake up at 4:30am, so its safe to assume that I’ll be in rem sleep any time he tries to call during a break.

Think I’m exaggerating how his schedule will be a nuisance? I did a quick Google search and some poor guy actually asked how could he work the dating game. Don’t believe me? Go look up “bus driver dating”

“I am a 24 year old bus driver. I don’t get out much because I work alot. Hey making money is good. At the same time I am lonely. I was wondering if anyone has any advice for me on how to get out there on the dating scene and how that can work with my busy schedule…”

Bus driver. Busy schedule. No girl.

Nevertheless, I like him. We have plenty in common and his horror stories about the types of women he was able to escape from? Comical. Tiny was a good conversationalist and provided plenty of descriptions of an ex-girlfriend who really turned out to me a prostitute and pimptress in disguise. Shit, I thought I had dodged some creeper bullets! Most definitely, our first conversation was enjoyable and like with any others, I was cautious about not getting too excited. After all, I was showing how flexible I was willing to be by talking to him at 7 in the morning, even though I was already at work.

Before I told Tiny that I would talk to him later, I asked what his schedule was like and when was the best time to call. He fells me he sleeps and then wakes up at noon everyday to eat lunch, then goes back to sleep until about 5pm. Once he’s up, a quick but intense workout at the gym followed by a shower, then he’s on the road to work. So basically, I have a window between the road time before he gets to work OR I can catch him when he gets off work.

I can already tell you that if this is the norm for him, this will be interesting to see how this goes.

Interesting schedule right? So you’re probably wondering what does Tim do for a living?
I had two clues before he even told me exactly what he did for a living. The first was from the dating profile which simply said he was in the “transportation/logistics” industry. That could mean he does anything from flying an airplane, handling cargo for UPS, or working as a customer service representative for a logistics company. I probably would have reacted differently if he actually did any of these examples instead of what he really does.

My second clue seemed as thought it should have been obvious but was kind of confusing at the same time. It was one of Tiny’s profile pictures, and there standing in what looked like a metro rail train holding on to one of the “oh shit” handles. He was wearing a blue shirt that looked similar to a hospital scrub shirt, so I ASSumed he was taking the train to work or something. So when I asked where he worked (yes, tried not to be so transparent by asking WHAT he did first) Tiny initially just replied “I’ve been working for the OCTA for 20 years”. Okay, so he drives the train, that’s a respectable job I suppose but the blue scrubs don’t fit into the equation so finally I asked him what he did.

” I drive a bus”.

I’m thinking to myself “Shit, here we go. So when you’re saying you’ve got to get all of your sleep to “prepare” for work, what are you preparing for? Driving down a route? Making that extra wide right hand turn without side swiping a car? Alright, so I was a little dejected at hearing how he makes his money but its an honest job right? Plus he’s obviously got an amazing work ethic and being anywhere for TWENTY years screams out a stable person, right? I’ll have to find out more about him and hopefully his aspirations are there for doing more than just sitting in a seat 12 hours a day. I’m not judging, but if there is anyone who I would consider dating seriously, he sure as hell better have some type if aspirations in his life.

This post goes deeper than Tiny Tim, the driver. It just seems that the demographics and socioeconomic statuses between the types of men I’m meeting and the types my girlfriend Kim (who happens to be on J-Date) meets are completely opposite. She’s meeting the business owners and investment bankers, the types who won’t have to transfer funds after a date. I’m meeting the security guards, EDD payroll candidates who really shouldn’t be online at all, and the “this is my hustle-turned-business” men.

Oh well- I’ll see what Tiny Tim is working with and see if he’s a keeper.

Until there’s a cure for the hangovers…

Carmen Jones

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.