A Photo Worth Three Words

It never ceases to amaze me how accurate I normally am when I see a profile picture and think “Oh hell to the no”. I mean literally, looking at one photo and the hairs on my neck spring to attention and nudge me to press the next button.

Sure, you’re probably thinking that I may be missing out on some hidden opportunities by often relying on my he-ain’t-shit instincts, but honestly, my assumptions are normally pretty damn accurate.

Let’s say for instance a notification that someone viewed my profile or sent a message. I click on the handy dandy link and viola- I’m right there on the site.

Right there, in a nice little preview box is the potential candidate’s photo, profile name, age, location, and marital status along with a synopsis of their profile.

Okay, so I’m really scanning over the other information because it’s that photograph that I want to check out first, THEN if there aren’t any glaring details (such as married, lives in Paducah, Iowa, or is 19 years-old) I’ll mosey on over to the complete profile.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I’ve found there are some images that we may come across make you express your reactions in about 50 words or phrases, the most common being:

Oh shit. Wow. Damn. Hell no. Why. Seriously. What the hell. Hideous. Damn. Yuck. Haha. No he/she didn’t. Eew. What a joke. A mess. Here we go. Unbelievable. Ghetto. Tacky. Just terrible. Next. Another one. Look at him. I give up.

Case in point – This morning I received a little more than the normal notifications, so I clicked the link to view the guy.

My first reaction? Three simple words, what the hell??!!

Second reaction? This guy is a joke, why in the world would he make such an ugly face? Does he think that having himself resemble a contorted version of Busta Rhymes is a good look?

Third reaction? He’s a loser. So just to make sure I wasn’t completely off with my assumptions, I clicked to view other photos and saw him in a variety of poses and outfits including…. The infamous mirror shot with the damn wife beater t-shirt. Ugh I hate that men figure under attire is suitable for OUTER wear.

Yet still, not one to be too hasty, I went to view his profile and realized that (sadly), I was right on the money once again.

Feast your eyes on this actual message this guy has on his profile which screams broke, cheap, and tacky:

What goes on? Leave me a pic and some info. THIS IS MY PHONE! SAY IT OUT LOUD AND YOU GOT IT. : ate won ate tree fyi __ for sicks for too. It’s easier to tex.

I don’t have an account so I can’t view messages or flirts. I promise I’m not a stalker, if you have a question or just have something on your mind hit me up. I’m a big fan of communication. 

I’m here to make new friends. I like to hang out, go to clubs, bars, drink, text, chat or conversate by phone, basically just have a good time. 

It took me a minute to realize how he was working the online dating system, then I realized he spelled out his phone number, ebonically.

Wow.

Hey MeSoSingle – I TOLD you as soon as I took that first look at the photo, this one was an immediate deletion.

Next time, we’re going to bet money that I’m right!

I guess that invisible crew behind the scenes checking profiles and photos BEFORE you post either slipped or missed this one.

Until there’s a cure…

Please, someone save me!!!

Carmen Jones

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.