It was just a few days ago when I was sharing my happiness after having a pretty good date, a mid-week first meeting at that. But you should also remember that the word “cautiously” was somewhere between happiness at the same time, and since Untitled (the hangover I couldn’t think of a name for) decided to open up page 1 of the guys book on dating, here I am giving an update. More like an exit statement.
Untitled chose to follow the unofficial wait-two-days-after-a-date-to-contact-her approach, so obviously there really isn’t that much for me to rant about now. Why do men do this? When to call a woman after a date is just one of many unofficial rules of dating, this one from the book written by men.
I don’t get some men and fortunately, this doesn’t happen to me often because hell – I’m just that fabulous.
Now it is certainly possible that while this guy was enjoying good conversation, stomach-tightening laughter, all while eyeing my soft and supple lips he also could have been thinking “I can’t wait for this night to be over, she’s not my type.” If this was the case, he went against the rules he and I had established before meeting where we agreed to tell each other before the date was over whether it was a green light and move ahead, or a red light and nice knowing you type of meet up. Instead, Untitled told me over and over how glad he was to have met me, blah blah blah.
Will someone please slap me upside my head if my logic is wrong here – boy meets girl, boy likes girl. Boy is interested in getting to know girl better, so boy will either text (not the best, but acceptable) or call (he’s a winner) the next day even if it is just to shoot the shit. This lets a woman know he’s interested and would like to continue communicating with her, that he wants to proceed through the dating phases. Why should anyone have to wonder?
The winner I went out with decided not to do anything, so after the second day I decided to be the adult and while at work sent a good morning and asked something about his son we discussed during our date. Untitled replied a few hours later, but that was it. Okay, I get the message and that was pretty much it for me.
The next day he sends a “Hey, what’s up” to which I replied, “Hey, definitely not you”. Alright, so that’s what my mind was saying while I replied back with “Nothing much, just working”. I wasn’t interested in engaging in a conversation via text, especially since Untitled had a bit of a shaking beginning for us to even get to the point of meeting. He sent another text on Friday morning, then again that evening (none of which were really talking about anything), and finally I stopped responding.
Earlier today I did what I probably shouldn’t have done, which was sending a text message that said “Is this your idea of communicating with a woman or perhaps you’re just not interested….”. Yes, I went there and could careless what a man thinks something like this being sent.
Dating really isn’t something that requires a degree in molecular biology, there aren’t any cosmic circumstances that need to be present for it to take place and happen in a way that makes for a win-win situation. It is the actions of immature, clueless or stupid people who create issues and cause the types of frustrations that make you want to say to hell with it all. Why? Men and women and they’re ridiculous rules; the types of rules we may think are clever and will eventually get a member of the opposite sex to conform and do what we want, when in actuality our rules make things a lot worse. Such is the case when a man or a woman waits some predetermined period of time before following up with each other.
Since this being only about the second or third time TOTAL in all of my years of dating where a man has met me and didn’t feel inclined to call me immediately after to comment on how great it was or how they couldn’t wait to see me again, I’m perplexed and annoyed at the same time. But hey, it is what it is. I don’t need to talk or blog about this hangover anymore because as much as I had shared with him leading up to our meeting about how important communication was, there’s no need to try hammering in the concept to this man because he doesn’t want to get it.
Yet another difference between Carmen and the average woman – accept the reality of how someone is, don’t try to lecture or change them and move the hell on.
Next up on the schedule – a possible date with an older man.
Until there’s a cure for the hangovers,