Friends with BenefitsSex/Romance

Things to Do Before Vacation

Things to Do Before Vacation


After 6 days of soaking in the blazing sun, sipping Sammy Sosas by the pool, and reveling in the beauty of the country and people of the Dominican Republic, I’m back!

Back to reality, back to life, back to the dating scene and as much as I hate to say it, back to the hangovers that come with dating.Β  But everything has a priority after such a fabulous vacation, so I thought I would share my checklist of things to do:

1. Unpack
2. Rest and flush kidneys
3. Mind blowing sex
4. Have multiple orgasms
5. More sex
6. First date with new guy
7. More sex and orgasms
8. Sign up on new dating site

It’s no coincidence that sexual tasks seem to dominate the list, and is a reminder to us all that you MUST get it in good BEFORE going on a vacation. Especially to a place like the Dominican where even the pool boys are hot enough to make your panties wet. Muy caliente, comprende?

I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, but I failed to have a send off filled with sweated out hair and sticky thighs – so there I was on vacation, having my own private summers.Β  Perhaps it was Mother Nature’s cruel way of telling me “no Dominican penis for you”, but the cotton pony prevented the bad girl in me from surfacing. While those red sea moments should only be reserved for the main boo or significant other, I was so damn tempted to get a little vacation nookie. There’s nothing like being in a foreign country, with attractive and willing men and a bag full of Trojans. Maybe next time.

Okay, so I didn’t get a chance to taste or feel one of those gorgeous men, but morning’s knock on my bedroom window was the start of a wonderful consolation.Β  Being greeted by the master of multiple-orgasmic creation was well worth the invasion of my morning sleep in desires. A warm and deep tongue thrust inside of my mouth at the door, other cavities in the bedroom and the hair pulling from behind in the shower? Hmmmm mmmm good.

Good on Paper always comes through, always on time. Sure, these types of escapades with a hangover isn’t what I prefer to do but hell – the man has golden d_ck. I would be a fool to let that go while I’m in relationship limbo, and besides- isn’t he the textbook definition of a friend with benefits?

I always enjoy our moments together, from him making use of a loofa and body wash one of the most sensual acts ever, to him asking me between gasps “Are you okay” as he releases he hands from my throat.

I don’t think I can emphasize enough how in tune my body is with his. Hell, I think I feel my inner thigh still quivering from that powerful climax as I write.

Alright, alright, I need to pull myself together and get ready for reality – my date for tonight. I haven’t had very much contact with this new guy, and he happened to be one of the “catch me before I go” contacts before canceling my membership on

I’ll surely provide the details on how the date went, but in the meantime… I need to get back to the rest of that list.

Until there’s a cure for the hangovers…

Carmen Jones

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Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!



  1. The cotton pony?? I almost spit my beer on my laptop. Brava, girlfriend…you have a way with words!
    I’m all for revisiting great sex…in fact, I’m doing it now. Why push a golden d*ck, and you describe it, off to the side?!?

    1. Revisiting old d?? You?? Already?? Oh my, you must bring me up to speed on the developments!!

      Oh and yes – cotton pony! Gotta love the visual on that phrase. πŸ™‚

  2. Oh my… This fella sounds like a nice one to keep on stand by. You know, just in case of emergency. Welcome back!

    1. Thanks Marie and yes – GOP is truly in a glass case that is meant to be broken in case of emergency.

      Somehow, I have convinced myself that repeating golden d instead of adding new and randoms to my list of headboard bangers is much better.

      Carmen’s twisted logic.

  3. I’m glad I read your posts away from my desk (removes hands from pants)! Haha!

    Welcome back baby girl. Nothing wrong with a little stroking, just keep it safe.

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