Great Date And Then…

Not much afterwards.

I’m a little confused because I hear about men and women going on that first date and in their mind, having a really great time but then shit pretty much fizzles after that.  It has happened to me and after about 3,047 dates, this is probably only the second time.  A man doesn’t normally meet and spend time with me and not want to either call me moments after leaving each other, or asking when we’re getting together soon.

But it did.

Naturally, that inner voice is trying to replay the Sunday morning until afternoon date, looking for that place to press pause and dissect the scene.  Then there is the realist inside saying “So the fuck what, move on to the next”, because the fact of dating life is that some things you’ll never be able to figure out.  Still, in my mind this guy and I really clicked and aside from a few text messages here, election banter and a good morning, there hasn’t been any real communication since we became an engaged couple by the table of New Yorkers next to us.  Allow me to explain.

You see, Doppelganger and I exuded some type of crazy chemistry that was noticed by others around us.  How did I come up with this crazy pseudonym?  It is quite fitting for this man because he looks just like two of the hangovers from my past – USBC and Special Agent.  The skin complexion, height and stature, bald head, facial hair and even the build so the only thing that really differentiated this one from the other two was his greenish-grey eyes and he was a bit more muscular.  I know what this sounds like, but they all initiated contact with me.

Okay, back to our chemistry and all that other good stuff that makes me say things went well.  Doppelganger was the perfect gentleman; very accommodating and attentive, mindful of his manners and patient.  Even when the waitress brought us the most confusing assortment of drinks instead of the traditional mimosa, we both stared at the glasses for a long time, looked at each other and started cracking up laughing.  How a man or woman reacts in public towards others when things go a little off course is crucial.

Brunch is buffet style and since I had never been to this restaurant before, Doppelganger grabbed my hand while telling me how attractive I was, and led me through a delectable selection of food.  Again, that inner voice is wondering if maybe there was one too many jokes, was my laughter was over the top, or should I have stopped at mimosa number three.   So far, the recap in my head isn’t picking up on anything.  Remember how I mentioned earlier that other people seemed to notice our chemistry, so this is where the group from New York celebrating a 60th birthday comes in.  While Doppelganger and I were enjoying good food and conversation, this woman walks near our table and says “Aw…you guys are too cute – how long have you been together?”.  We both look at each other and laugh and I reply with an exaggerated whisper while motioning with that keep-it-on-the-down low expression telling her it was our first date.

If you have ever met or been around someone from New York and Staten Island at that, you know these people are up front and in your face and have voices that are quite voluminous.  Once she heard this she says “No way, no way -you guys are acting so comfortable with one another as if you’ve been together for years”, then she calls her boyfriend over to our table while yelling out to the others in her party that it was our first date.  As loud as she was, she may as well have got on the loud speaker and made this announcement.  I can’t recall the last time my entire body became flushed all over, and I’m sure those sexy little sweat rings started working away at my sheer top.  Still, Doppelganger and I were able to find the humor in it but Ms. New York didn’t stop there.  Instead, she went on to explain how she met her man on ______.com, the same site he and I met on, and then after looking at her crystal ball proclaimed that we had probably met our soul mates.

Yeah, slow down Ms. Cleo is what I was thinking as well.

A few moments later, I stepped away to visit the ladies room and when I returned, Doppelganger told me the table knew what we did for a living and had suggested a future wedding in San Pedro’s Ports O’Call.  Alright, so just to clarify I’m not bat shit crazy thinking that the drunken prophecies of some random lady has anything to do with anything.  The point is how can anyone be expected to just brush off the lack of follow up after meeting, turning what was meant to be a 1-2 hour date into a 4 hour gab fest, that would have led to a trip to Knott’s Berry Farm if I had the time and NOT be confused.  Besides, as he told it several times I was “very attractive”, “witty and down to earth, someone he could genuinely relate to” and a woman who seemed to really have it going on.

At the end of the day, this situation with Doppelganger comes down to one of several possibilities on why we haven’t spoken and planned our next outing.  He just wasn’t in to me, his compliments and affectionate gestures were fake, is one of those men who deals with a woman on his terms, or teleported back to Mars.  Whichever the case, I’m done with trying to figure it out and will chop the date up as what it was – a nice date.

Until there’s a cure for the dating hangovers…
Carmen Jones
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