Relationship 101

The Front Runner

 “You really had me a little heated these last couple of days because you really fell off.  Hell, I even had to change your nickname.”

“Oh really?  What was it?”

“Hope, because that’s what I think we gave each other when it comes to dating.”

“Okay, and what did you change it to?”

“Humph.  I changed it to Wreck it Ralph because you seemed like someone who didn’t know what he was doing or liked playing games.”

“No, it wasn’t anything like that.  Like we just discussed, it wasn’t anything like that but since you changed to Wreck it Ralph how did the movie begin and how did it end?”

“Well, Ralph initially was looked at as the bad guy and he wasn’t really given the chance to communicate what he was really about.”

“And…. How did the movie end?”

“In the end Ralph ended up showing his true colors, that he was genuinely a good person and was the hero in the end.”



I hated admitting this but we laughed our butts off.  This is how we roll, these are the types of candid exchanges we can have and this is why he’s gone from Hope to Wreck it and back to Hope again.

Over the course of about a week or so when I last wrote, I had resolved that Hope had either been turned off about something or had a lot going on but unfortunately – I figured the latter meant the possibility of his time being taken away by several women.  These were two incorrect assumptions and the point that will be hammered home again and again and again is this – when two people don’t know each other’s communication styles and preferences, even down to how often they may want to communicate, there is far too much room for (incorrect) interpretation.

Hope isn’t the type of man who will text or call every morning to tell you how beautiful you are,  so we compromised and I told him constant contact isn’t what I want so I’m good for one of something a couple of times a week.  Three or four days going by, regardless of how crappy his week was is unreasonable to me and he’s agreed to work with me.  The most crucial point that I made was this – if things get that hectic, one of those “a lot going on this week, we’ll catch up in a few days” texts is just fine but leaving anyone hanging that you’re supposedly getting to know?  Deal breaker.

Speaking of deal breakers we shared several during our 2-hour conversation a few nights ago.  Everything from not wanting to be with anyone who doesn’t perform fellatio, another not waking up for a quickie, behavior and conduct in a public place and body odors.  So much ground was covered that night which is amazing, because in that first week there was so much shared which goes to show the humongous learning curve we all have when first meeting someone.

Then we talked about Mangos.

How often do you meet someone who says they are normally straight forward and up front about things, especially when there’s a problem or area of dissatisfaction while dating or in a relationship?  The person will say “I’ll let you know when I’m not happy” or “talk it out before it gets too bad” but really, how many people actually do this?  I was joking about it referencing a part from the movie “Think Like a Man” and said if either of us is in a bad mood, having a bad week, don’t feel like being bothered or the like, mangos will be the safe word.  It was a joke but hey, I’m sure there will be times when it may need to be put into effect.

Something that made me really happy towards the end of that call:

It isn’t often that you meet someone and the chemistry is just amazing and off the charts like this.  When we first met, I had a lot of free time and wanted to give it all to you and I did.  It just so happens that the next two days was absolute hell with so much (tons of details) going on, so no – I wasn’t ignoring you and there isn’t anyone I’m even remotely interested in like this.  The fact that I am physically attracted to you, love the way you think, your body and sense of humor isn’t something you come by often.  So if I made you feel that way, I’m sorry.

Boom.  An apology.

He understood, I understood and an agreement to do better was made.  Although I know his favorite brand of shirt is made by Geoffrey Beene, and he knows just by looking at me that I’m a 38D bra size, and I know that he loves chocolate and ranch with ketchup, and he knows not to ever buy a bouquet of roses or carnations, and I know he would never buy a bouquet without having it arranged with his preferences, there is still so much to learn about each other.

So there you have it, I’m back to having hope about hope for dating Hope.

Still hoping for a cure and not just these types of treatments.

Carmen Jones

Share this post

Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!



  1. Shit woman, I just can’t get with the rocky patches in the beginning BUT if he you are both up front when it comes to new levels, hopefully
    things will be cool.

  2. Yay! I like these types of turnarounds. They give me and others hope and I love that the name is a play on the word itself.

  3. I’m really pleased to hear that he’s sounding more promising again! It sounds good that you were able to have these types of conversations too. I hope he continues to be more consistent and thoughtful again now.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.