Thinking Too Much?

Thinking Too Much?

Women think too much, we just do.Β  Sometimes I wish I could reach in the back of my head and disconnect that plug that goes into my brain to prevent me from doing the very thing that sometimes seems to sabotage a few situations that could have been promising in the world of dating.Β  Then again, thinking things out is good because you’re able to weed out the bullshit a lot sooner.

Saturday night, I had yet another date with Hope and not only was it the fifth in the week that we’ve known each other; it was the first time we allowed ourselves to get a little more touchy-feely. I’ve mentioned a few times before how I think physical (more like animal) attraction may be a bad thing if there is too much of it, because you find yourself in situations where nipples and other body parts may be exposed sooner than preferred.

Don’t worry – I didn’t f___k him this soon, but just like the fabulous movie seen earlier that evening, we enjoyed the previews each other had to share. I’m quite relieved that should we end up going there, Hope will definitely be equipped with a pipe that is both adequate in width and length. Did I make that politically correct enough?

Sometimes it is best to take your ass home when you’ve beat the night up, but neither of us was ready to go. We had an enjoyable dessert, where the conversation continued to show each other that we were both pretty stable, level-headed, interested in making time for whoever is in our life, and had the “I hope you don’t change in a couple of weeks” sermon.

Afterwards, we decided to take a drive to the boardwalk in the beautiful city of Hermosa Beach. We sat in the car just talking, listening to music while debating if we wanted to get out and walk in the elements. Needless to say, one I innocently started in on the head rub (damn I love bald heads), followed by my expert neck and shoulder combination, the anything outside of the Bat mobile was OUT of the question. Oh yes, making out in the car will never die, you better believe it.

In the midst of our little session that made me appreciative of the limousine tint on the windows, I brought things back to an it-has-only-been-a-week perspective and told Hope “I like you too much to go there this soon”. After he said “Okay, but just know that I am going to eat the hell out of your p____”, we tidied up and back to his house we went. We did our typical farewell, and the night/morning ended with my text telling him I made it home.

Now for the over thinking.

I’m sailing into the SECOND day of not having heard from him, not a peep. No telephone call, not even a quick text so a silent storm is brewing inside of me. Am I over thinking what sounded like a tad bit of annoyance when I called him on Sunday? It was ever so slight, but I know I heard something in his voice so I kept the conversation quick and told him to enjoy himself.

We talked about communication preferences last week when I shared that I’m simple – a text and maybe a phone call once a day and I’m good. Being a mother, career woman and student I don’t have time to be gabbing on the phone all of the time, so I don’t expect it from anyone else. Especially someone I just met BUT I did tell him, Hope agreed this was reasonable for getting to know someone and last week he followed suit. So am I wrong to trip on this two day of nothingness?

Here’s another moment of over thinking: is it possible the reason I haven’t heard from him is because he was expecting a little return on his five date investment with a little p____y?

I know I’m not crazy here because of this had happened after the first or even the second date, Hope’s inaction wouldn’t even be a subject of discussion. But this isn’t, so unless he had time and money to burn and just isn’t interested, this girl is a little confused.

I already know what the MEN are thinking: He’s just busy and two days without contacting a woman means nothing.

I also know what the women are thinking: Forget his ass, he’s got something else going on and if he can’t take ONE minute out of a 24 hour day just to say hello, he isn’t worth your time anyway. My friend Tally even went so far as to say he may be playing the game; perhaps realizing the two of you were doing too much too soon, so he’s pulling back the reigns.

So you see – men and women just think differently and more often than not, we will surely think that random piece of paper lying in the road is really the secret to cellulite and stretch mark removal when in fact, it may just be a piece of paper.

All I’m saying is that women figure we can have the busiest day EVER, but still have to eat, shit and think. It only takes a second to reach out it you really wanted to.

Bottom line- It’s only been a WEEK since I’ve known him and even though we’ve accelerated the get-to-know-you process by light years, a week is a week. Although I’ve suffered from a little sleep deprivation and put off some homework that should have been completed a lot sooner than yesterday, I did have some good outings and so I don’t regret anything. I’ll sit back as I wait on what I like to call the “72 Hour” holding period before assuming this is yet another hangover for the books.

I’ve got hope for this one, pun intended. I’m going to think he’s just being a man and there is NOTHING more to it. πŸ™‚

Carmen Jones


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Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!



  1. Yes, yes – we do way too much thinking and sometimes its like we can’t help it. In our minds, we figure if a man has shown us a certain amount of attention, he should want to let us know we’re being thought of. Sadly, this isn’t the case because we’re just wired differently. Leave it alone and just chill, you’ll find out soon enough if he’s real or a fly by night. Hopefully the former and not the latter.

    1. Hey Tamera, guilty indeed but sometimes we’re not too far of the mark in our reasons for having to.

      I’ve had a few exchanges with this one since posting this, but the jury is still out. That fuzzy feeling that a prospect was present has turned into days old milk.

  2. Give the brotha a little time to get his bearings right. I know my schedule is hectic and trust me you don’t want the dude giving you too much attention cause that means he doesn’t have much poppin OR setup to be that crazy dude showing up at the club looking for you in his houseshoes and robe

    1. Ah.. Diggame, I hear you on the hectic schedule but damn! It’s a tough pill to swallow thinking “you couldn’t get enough of me in a week, but can’t think of me for five seconds to pound out a message”?

      Fortunately, I didn’t send any flippant messages and sure enough, he reached later. When he was good and ready.

  3. I agree with the last commenter, give him a chance but I feel you. All we look for is consistency, especially in the beginning but you have to keep in mind what you already know Carmen- the man isnt the greatest communicator by phone. Its too early. In the deal to give it too much thought. Besides, I already know you’ve got a few others in the hopper.

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