Time to Swirl?

Time to Swirl?

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Isn’t it nice to have something to look forward to at work?  Even if it happens to be some nice eye candy that is totally unattainable?

The type of industry I’m in has me surrounded by tons of little Japanese with pants so tight their reproductive abilities have been slashed on half.  Or by tech geeks and engineers with bad cases of male pattern baldness.  Then there are those I dare refer to as women, who are two shaving sessions away from being men.

Now that I’ve painted a picture of why there hasn’t been a single man met in the workplace in the nearly ten years that I’ve been there.  This is why I look forward to Thursdays.

Ah… today I had another innocent flirting session with the one and only man that catches my eye- Ryan McCutie.  Of course that isn’t his actual name, but it fits him because well… he looks like a Ryan with his great smile and friendly demeanor, is educated,  smart and very well traveled.

Ryan always makes it a point to poke his head into my office just to make sure I see what he’s wearing. A little joke of sorts, since I never let him live down wearing this god-awful lumberjack looking shirt a few years back.  We shoot the shit a little bit about work and talk about any recent trips, all while I’m catching myself laughing (read giggling) more than intended.

You see Ryan is the Abercrombie and Fitch or Banana republic cute like Bradley Cooper type of guy; he’s probably in his early 30’s, clean cut, tall with an average build and has sandy blond hair, green eyes with a little something extra in his walk.

Yep, I called him Ryan and he has blond hair so you already know this is NOT the typical type of man I’m used to talking about.  If you’re still trying to figure out what is so different about his description, you’re a little slow today so give it a minute or two. 

If I were ever to consider doing it, he would be the guy!

Allow me to divert your attention back to the title of this post.  While the context in which the word is being used is different and foreign, you have certainly heard of the old phrase from back in the day known as jungle fever.

Nowadays (credit to the popular blog Beyond Black & White where I first learned of this word) two people of different ethnicities hooking up is known as swirling.   I get that, especially considering the visual of colors intertwined and blending together.

Am I ready to say bye-bye to the brothers in search of different experiences?   I have resisted going to the other side for many years, due to one reason or the other when friends and even my Mother have been cheering “Go for it! ”

Why the hell not get out there, expand my penis pallate- I mean culture and start paying attention to these different types of man that have expressed an interest? We certainly can tell from the insurmountable list of hangovers that I’ve got nothing to lose, right?

Considering my little crush, should I go ahead and make McCutie the test monkey?  Well if he wasn’t happily married  to a woman who looks like Malibu Barbie, this could have been a possibility. So for now, he is a nice  template for a man of that persuasion that appeals to me.

Besides… as of late, several outings with MeSoSingle has encouraged me and while I could dedicate an entire post or two describing this woman’s prowess with the other white meat, let’s just say, she is making me a believer in the possibilities in experiencing something new.  Could it be that she scoped this hot dude from Australia at the bar, said she wanted to get to know him, planned a strategy and scored?  Nah, but it sure as hell was entertaining to watch it all play out.

So whoop, there it is.  The seed has been planted, perhaps I’ll water it a little bit and watch it grow.

Oh, and before any of you start shaking your heads and fingers thinking dating “others” is just a copout based on frustration, maybe it is.  Still,  I would rather look at any possible actions as trying something different.

Until there’s a cure for the hangovers, it’s long over due to consider other options.

Carmen Jones

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Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!



  1. I hate to break the news to you, but depending on what you think you’re looking for, there isn’t much of a difference between black men and any others. Good luck either way but they all have penises, so they’re one in the same.

    1. Ah.. yes Constance-they all have penises but the one time I checked the goods of one, it met the stereotypes in every way. Ha!

      I’m not looking tp test any theories or use a man of another ethnicity as a test monkey, intentionally but in reality, interracial dating is a new beast.

      Each of the dating sites I have been on in the past (including Black People meet), there have been different men contacting me. My mind just wasn’t wrapped around the idea at the time but what the hell- it’s time!

  2. Well, brothers jumped on this ship a long long time ago. I say go for what makes you happy but don’t sacrifice anything in the process.

  3. Men are men and I definitely haven’t thrown in the towel on black men, I’m just using a significantly bigger net in my search for Mr. Right. I love men and race is not a factor for me. It just so happens that I have had a white streak lately but I have also dated Latino and Asian men. For the most part they are all the same. Dumb. But there are definitely nuances that are unique to each to each race.

    1. White streak? Girl, its been more of a marathon and I’m not mad at all!

      It’s nice to have options other than being forced to keep picking through the same bag of bad black eye peas, hoping to pick out one that finally makes it to the pot.

      You’re right, men are men as women are women. Our experiences with the sames types is what fucks things up for us.

      Good luck to us both!

  4. I say go for it! New experiences and flavors, so it may be quite refreshing to try men outside of what you’re used to.

    1. Whoa, where the hell have you been? I thought you either reenlisted or eloped!

      Thanks for the thumbs up and no, I won’t throw out the dark chocolate, but a little white chocolate sounds appetizing.

      All I can say is it will be interesting to see how much alike (aside from cultural differences) we really are though I’m hoping with the difference comes a chance for a new experience.

      Welcome back to blog world!

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