Small World

Small World


So far, so good with Out of Sight and while I think the crack in his foundation has been clearly identified based on our conversations, my focus will be away from the negative and more on the potential that he’s offering.  Unfortunately for his friends and family, the relocation date has been pushed ahead by over a month and I’m not ashamed to say that I’m elated to hear this.  It’s all about me for right now.

Funny thing is that I’m quite nervous at the same time because the expectations that Out of Sight has for a woman he would even consider dating are quite demanding and while unrealistic isn’t necessarily an accurate statement, let’s just say it is now very apparent (beyond him being a workaholic) why this man is single. Still, things seem to be progressing fairly well so far as the two of us getting to know one another and I’m really thinking the distance apart enhances the types of conversations we’ve been having.

I mentioned in my last post that Out of Sight is the closest you can get to being the male equivalent of me; that could be a bad thing because we both have very extreme points of views but it’s our ability to be open with our communication that seems to balance everything out.  We tell a lot of stories and share experiences – both the good and the bad, so last week during one of our discussions I learned to hate a particular phrase that we tend to use – it’s a small world.

Allow me to explain how we have learned that we have more in common that we originally knew or cared to know…

A few weeks ago me and Out of Sight were having one of our usual telephone gab sessions while I was en route to a birthday gathering and something the two of us seem to have in common (to a fault) is the reference of a person’s name when sharing a memorable experience or story.  Without recalling all of the specifics that morning, I do remember saying how the birthday honoree was a really great guy and because of his personality, seemed to know so many people all over the country.

Out of Sight happens to ask why was it that this guy so popular and my reply was “Maybe because he’s part of a large fraternity or maybe it’s just that he’s amazingly entertaining and compassionate person”, and then he asks what was my friend’s name.  It turns out we know the SAME person very well with me having worked with him and developed a close friendship over the years, while both he and his ex-wife are intimately familiar with this same guy. You better believe the itch is certainly there for me to let our mutual connection know that one of his boys was on my hangover radar to start probing him for some information whether good or bad surprisingly,  I’ve continued to resist doing so.  Instead, I’ll continue learning all about Out of Sight on my own and let things flow with naturally.  This instance of it really being a small world after all isn’t bad and in fact, ended up being pretty comical once we shared our thoughts about the secret life this mutual friend is probably engaging in.  The second example, however hit a little too close to home.

In case I haven’t made it clear enough, we converse pretty often which can range from several times throughout the day or depending on how crazy our schedules may be, once or twice but nothing too extreme in either direction. The lovely part about this blossoming friendship is that nothing is left off the table, absolutely nothing.  We talk about everything from credit scores, favorite pastimes, whether it’ll be a hug or a long kiss when we meet, to my thoughts on someone using the bathroom while I’m showering and best of all – we share experiences and funny stories.

So a few days ago during one of our mid-morning sessions, we were talking about his upcoming move as well as the vacation he’s taking to the land of silicones and fat-injected booties – Miami and he asked if I wanted to come along.  I remember making a comment about the wild and crazy partying that would surely take place, which sparked a flashback in his mind that began with “I remember one time I was messing around with this one kinky chick named __________; man, let me tell you she was a f-r-e-a-k and the things we did and what she let me do….”

Initially, Out of Sight didn’t hear me when I chuckled and said “Shit, I KNOW her!”, and he continued telling the tale of how he was a 22 year-old in his sexual prime meeting up with a woman who was in the same place as he was in sexual curiosity.  Down to try anything, ready to explore everything.  The more he talked in this amazingly animated tone, the quieter I became as I started going through my photo gallery to find a photo of her.  Suddenly, it hit him; he pauses saying “What? You don’t know her, let me finish telling you this story because there’s no way we’re talking about the same woman.”

As soon as I began quizzing him on the physical appearance and he mentioned one very specific part of her body, doubts were quickly being eliminated.  SILENCE.

Now just picture this for a moment – A woman is happily running through a field of beautiful sunflowers, the wind is blowing through her hair and she doesn’t have a care in the world.Suddenly, she starts sinking slower and slower into the ground until finally – her entire head is covered in cow manure. Is the picture pretty clear? This is exactly how I was feeling at the realization that this uh…sexually liberated woman was the same person, a former fling of his and a very, very good friend of mine.

Saying that it is a small word is an understatement and really – what is the likelihood of the person you found online, are anxiously waiting to meet, lives thousands of miles away AND happens to have had some kinky, sex toy filled threesome encounter with one of your closest friends?

I have to give him credit though, because he’s obviously got great taste in women, because we are so much alike.We’re quite similar in appearance and stature, personalities are the same hence our friendship, and are both pretty darn smart. That’s the bright side, I suppose.

Still, I couldn’t help feeling a certain kind of way.   Regardless of how long ago it was the thought that me getting to the point of kissing this man and engaging in any type of intimate encounter will always be in my mind as him having once been one of her conquests and me taking on her………leftovers. Alas, I am pressing forward and will just have to think like a man; they are entirely different creatures when it comes to certain situations like this and couldn’t give a flying fart about a friend or even a relative having dealt with the same woman.

There’s also a part of me that is resisting the urge to ask her a few pressing questions such as: how was he in bed, was it any good, did it stay hard without having to work hand or mouth miracles, would she do it again, does the jizz smell okay, was he able to satisfy both her and the other woman, is he wild and passionate, can he kiss, does he have good bedroom talk, is he a minute man?

Dating is hard enough without little glitches like this!

So many things I’m wondering about as I realize that there are now not one, but two aces I’m holding in my pocket; two people who are very near and dear to me who could really shed some additional insight on Out of Sight.

I guess I’m okay with not probing and will let things ride as I look forward to meeting the man who seems to have captured my attention for all the right reasons.

 Until there’s a cure for the dating hangovers…

Carmen Jones

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Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!


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