Hooray for Great First Dates!

He started things off the right way by only taking one look at my profile, sending me a decent introductory message that was far more creative than “Hello beautiful” or worse – “Hi”. It didn’t take twenty inbox chats later to know that we were both interested and after a few days here’s what I received: “Congratulations! You have successfully passed the grammar text and have graduated to the next level – here’s my number so give me a call sometime…” A smart ass who appreciates the importance of grammar and using the same type of snarky lines I’m used to dishing out? Oh yeah, this is definitely my kind of guy so when it came to the exchange of numbers do you think there was as much as an introductory telephone call? Nope. All we did was text and text and text.

I’m on a mission to break these fools of the lazy dating habits that start out with the assumption that everyone likes the same thing but what people fail to realize is that men (and women) who carry on like this aren’t just busy – they’re stupid, immature or just shady. No one is that busy and while this same person is sitting there clicking buttons on the same phone they could have just called you on, they prefer the silly emoticons and simple messages.  I normally shut this behavior down immediately and not only does my dating profile let the men know that text hockey isn’t for me, I’ll tell anyone that I meet in person as well.  So after a couple of days of this nonsense here’s what I sent to him:

Sending this type of text message to a guy usually will yield one of two results: he responds with something like “I know you’re a busy person so figured texting is easier” or “I figured you’re busy, give me a call anytime”. This one took a different approach because no sooner had I fired off that message was he calling me and so began our real interaction. Nice recovery though I joked with him that it wasn’t mean to be a scare tactic but to make sure he understood right away what turned me off and to recognize that some of us are old-fashioned and you just don’t get to know someone via SMS. It turns out that he’s a smart cookie, carries on a conversation pretty well and while there was a span of about 2 weeks before actually meeting, I’m pleased to report that I had an enjoyable date this past weekend.

But as great of a time we had over dinner and a few cocktails, there’s that nagging little bitch in the back of my head saying “So what, you normally have great first dates – and??”. It’s true that while there have certainly been some pretty messed up encounters with the likes of nutcases like Bullet, cheapskates such as Skittles dude and career criminals like Enron, I have to admit that there have many more that went well except for those unfortunate cases where I simply wasn’t attracted to the men.   This one is definitely in my favor because I was interested in going out with him and not just as something to do and I’m attracted to him but not overly attracted if that makes sense. Basically, he’s cute and totally kissable but there’s no animalistic attraction so there’s no fear of screwing him too soon should we meet again. The only struggle I’m having is what to call him?

The names of the hangovers come to me pretty easily and are usually derived from something specific about a man such as his physical appearance, what he does for a living, a particular characteristic or if we’ve already met, a particular experience but in this instance, I’ve been a little conflicted. He is most certainly racially ambiguous because at first glance he could pass for being Middle Eastern, yet confused as being something else which is what the valet attendant struggled with when he started speaking Spanish to us Saturday night. He says he’s a long-distance truck driver but sure as hell doesn’t fit the typical image of the balding fat guy with plumber’s crack showing. He’s lived in the Leimert Park section of Los Angeles all of his life and has that urban flavor but isn’t the typical “LA dude” if you know what I mean. In short, neither his looks nor the way he carries himself are in alignment with what he’s told me about himself so he’s either full of something or is just an anomaly.

I like the fact that he hasn’t asked me to send him a bunch of photos (just one, that’s doable). I like how he’s complimenting without going overboard and how he hasn’t asked me repeatedly why I’m single. I like how he carefully balances the communication between us with the right amount of text messages here and a few telephone calls there. I like how he’s actually interested in how my day is going as opposed to asking just for the sake of asking. I like his sense of humor but his directness at the same time which tells me there’s a possibility he will readily say what’s on his mind. I just like the idea of something new and refreshing and will look forward to the next outing and go with the flow.

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones