Nothing is constant but change and this concept most certainly applies to dating.
Over the last ten years or so, the rules of the game have changed drastically and this isn’t just because online dating is now one of the most popular ways to try finding that special someone but our society is now a lot more screwed up. Simple interactions we used to take for granted such as talking on the telephone or simply saying hello to someone you’re interested in have gone away and the likelihood of sharing an intelligible conversation is slim to none. Some of the ridiculous experiences I’ve had with men from both online contact and the good old-fashioned face-to-face contact and dating are both pathetic and embarrassing but sadly some of the women are not beyond reproach other. I just wish we could rewind the clock to those throwback styles of dating.
A man would see a woman he was interested in, ask for a number to call her and within a day or maybe even less, a telephone call was made and the voices of two interested people went to.
During that initial telephone call, the two people are either having a brief discussion with a few awkward pauses or may be lucky enough to have one of those marathon calls when chores, homework and even food is being ignored and no one wants to be the first to hang up. It may be with this first call or maybe a couple more, but soon after an actual date is planned where typically it is the man who is asking the woman out for dinner, a movie or maybe even dancing.
The man just needs her address and he’s on his way to her house and wait for it – gets out of the car. He’s dressed nicely for the date leaving his baseball cap and flip flops for another day and walks up to knock on the door (calling her to come out was unacceptable and honking was criminal). He might have a little something for the woman since it is their first date and soon after she greets him, they’re headed back to the car and on their way.
As they’re driving to their destination with some “safe” music playing, conversation ensues and…
I think you’re getting the idea where I’m going with this fairytale of sorts. What’s funny and sad at the same time is that anyone younger than 30 or has been meeting the same types as myself and many others, has no recognition of what I’ve described above. Things nowadays are so ridiculously twisted when it comes to dating that THIS has become the norm:
If someone interested in you he or she will ask if you’re on Facebook, ask for your Instagram name, Twitter handle, or Snap Chat name and just maybe you’ll be asked for a phone number text you sometime. After several days or maybe even a week, contact is made using one of the sources above which mostly likely is a text message with something like “HYD”, “WYD” or “Hey” or my personal favorite “Hi Sexy”. It is quite possible that you will NEVER receive an actual telephone call and if allowed, a man or woman will continue to text you, add you to their group distribution lists for jokes and chain letters along with countless requests for photos.
Should the moons and stars are properly aligned, a call might be placed for one of those “in traffic, just called to say hi” conversations and since it’s likely the person on the other end is socially retarded, you’ll end up wishing they had really Facebook’d or texted instead. Depending on how things might be going in a person’s life (as in they’re having problems in a relationship, just been dumped or are really bored), there’s a unique substitution that may be offered. It’s either presented in the form of you “meeting up” somewhere if they suddenly remembered your name and location, “hanging out” at some crowded space with other random people or another personal favorite – asking you to “come through” which is really morse code for getting fu@ked.
I could go on and on but again, you get where I’m going with this and many of us can readily admit how screwed up the dating scene is. As if dealing with another person’s baggage, lifestyle challenges and everything else isn’t enough, now we have a generation of lazy daters. I just wish we could bring back that old school type of dating.
Until there’s a cure…
Yep, it’s so messy out there. I’m friggin’ amazed how many grown tail men don’t even know how to ask a woman out. Total turn off…smh
When does it end Melzie? Is the only possible relief going to come from a man that is 50 years and older, who’s never heard of Twitter or Facebook? Seems hopeless at times. =/
Shoot, even the elders are hip to the game now…lol
This so right on time, how about some throwback love songs to go with this. Like you said, it’s ridiculous how some of us have gotten so lazy when it comes to dating. A simple phone call is like asking for the world but I refuse to change into these suckers of today, I’m an old skool lover for sure.
Lazy dating is what I call it and I swear, once music started changing from songs about loving you to breaking backs, real courting went away with it.
I’m glad to hear there are still some of us left who believe in that old school kind of romancing. I’ll definitely start dropping some old videos but in the meantime, hop on over to Melzie’s blog for some music and thoughtful thoughts at The Curvy Girl Chronicles.
This is such a good post. I find myself wishing for throwback dating after every date. Really, dude, flip flops on a first date? Not okay.
Thanks Rita and definitely not cool to wear flip flops, or board shorts on a dinner date OR home dates as the first date. I guess they wouldn’t be able to get away with all of it if there weren’t women already allowing it.
This one really struck a chord with me and as much as I want all of the old fashioned loving, what I miss the most is the art of conversation. I can’t remember the last time I spoke with a man on the phone or in person and thought to myself wow- I love what he’s saying. Maybe losing everything else from the old days has killed the chances of having good talking sessions as well.
I completely agree with you. Often times a conversation that is interesting and engaging could even tip the scales in someone’s favor,especially if you weren’t really into them.
Perhaps it’s because of everything else we’re missing with this new generation of dating that has tanked the talk as well. Maybe there’s still hope.
Bring back the woman who thanks a man for complimenting her. Or the woman who allows the man to take charge when in public and eespecially the woman who doesn’t act like she’s the one with the penis in bed. Yes, bring back that old school type of lovin.
John, I agree with you 1000%. All of us are culpable for the poor state of dating experiences, both men and women.
Now that penis in bed thing…. the types of women who are really aggressive between the sheets may have become that way because of a man. Maybe she had the guy who wanted to be tied up, talked to with some dirty, sexy language and whipped into submission. Okay, a bit of a stretch bit you just never know.
Back to your original point, I would love to get a group of 30 something singles in a room with a few 50 and over and just let them go at it.
Dating has become a thing of the past. We’re in the age of texting and hooking up but yeah, I miss it too.
I’m hoping we can get back to it Derek, real dating that is but there needs to be more like-minded people like us who agree that something is definitely wrong about how we’re carrying on nowadays. Le sigh. =/