Overpriced Hallmark cards, cutesy cuddly teddy bears, fat cherubs, tons of flowers and far too many commercials for that special engagement ring means it’s that time of year again. Talk about sensory overload from all of these things even before the public displays of affection kick in and guess what? Single folks are normally pretty cool with those of you in love, wanting to showcase this moment. We’re happy for you and hope that you all of this and then some BUT there’s just one thing – we wished you would stop sharing so many details.
We don’t want to hear it.
For some, this single awareness day is pretty touch and they’ll do everything to either avoid public places altogether or front like life is grand and make sure they’re everywhere the couples are to show it’s okay if they’re flying solo. Those of you in lover wonderland just need to know that we aren’t concerned about your plans for the day, we don’t care to hear about how beautiful those corner lot flowers you received, we don’t need to know that he broke the bank taking you out to dinner, and we sure as hell don’t want to know the intricate details of your late night trysts afterwards. More than likely, we’ll end up seeing everything on your Facebook or Instagram page anyway once we notice that you probably get more “likes” or comments than any post ever before.
Still, even if singles were to stomach all of the details we don’t care to know about the worst thing you can do is to ask us stupid ass questions or make statements you think are making us feel better when in reality, your good intentions only makes us want to kick you in the face.
So if none of your friends have ever mustered up the courage to have told you this before, I’m telling you now. Here are five things single people aren’t interested in hearing and especially on Valentine’s Day.
I hope you’ve got your pencils ready and here we go!
#1 Asking what we have planned for the day
If I knew you were in the 12-step program, how stupid would I look asking if you wanted to go out for drinks, so think carefully before go there. Assuming we’re pretty good friends, there shouldn’t be any reason for you to ask and you can best believe that your single friends would have mentioned or hinted at some king of event or outing. For some of you, you may only be asking about our plans as a lead in to your own plans so whichever the case, don’t do it and just wait for us to clue you in on anything whether it’s nice dinner or a long walk on the beach with our dogs. We’ll let you know.
#2 – Rubbing in #1 by asking if we have a special someone
I have one friend who’s the worst offender by asking if there’s some hot guy I’m hooking up with and every time I’m like “Yes, I’ll be with your boyfriend for the night” in my mind. Just the same as asking a single person if they have any special plans on V-Day, you should know that you would have been told by now if we wanted you to know especially with women. Girlfriends are always good for sending a text or maybe even a photograph of some hottie we plan on getting it in with. Take a moment to think about this and ask yourself if your friend has mentioned ANYTHING to you recently about someone new or an old flame and more than likely the answer is no so don’t go here either.
#3 – Suggesting speed dating or singles mixers
Bless your hearts and good intentions but suggesting speed dating to us is the equivalent of suggesting online dating any other time and again, you mean well but this isn’t helping. What makes you think we’re not already the bulls eye of every marketing event known to man for different singles excursions? From the dating mixers to the comedy clubs to restaurants catering to groups of men and women, we already know so thanks for this little tip but consider we may be just as content with doing something with little fan fare or maybe even nothing at all.
#4 – Saying we’ll meet someone when least expected
Remember what I said earlier about wanting to kick you in the face? If nothing else, this statement is the worst thing you can say to a single person and is the one of the most cliché lines ever. It’s the equivalent of telling someone who died that a loved one is in a better place. You’re stating what may be the obvious but it doesn’t make anyone feel wonderful hearing it and especially not on Valentine’s Day so just cut it out.
What’s worse is that many of you not only say this but will offer up some story about how you were online and “not looking” and ended up with a good catch or how some chance meeting at the coffee shop led you to your soul mate. All very touching stories but just allow us continue to expect the unexpected on our own.
#5 – Downplaying it all
Your relationship is either on shaky grounds or your marriage really sucks so okay, we get that this day may not mean anything to you because your significant other is likely just going through the motions. Oh well, that’s you boo so stop trying to downplay the whole single status on this day as being just another day. How about allowing us to make our own interpretations of the day and any desire to be in a relationship is just that – our desire. The negative twist you’re putting on this day could also be your way of trying to soften the blow some singles feel when there’s no one to celebrate with but again, the commentary isn’t needed.
So there you have it, what single people don’t want to hear. Now you love birds have a wonderful weekend, enjoying all that the significant other thought to give or do for you but member, if we’re interested in hearing the details of how things went, we will ask you.
Until there’s a cure…
Carmen Jones
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