Single With Benefits

I’m still here and yes, still single.

This chick here has been quite busy over the holidays and am just now starting to get into the swing of things after ending the year trying to knock out some of my goals that I’d set which included the usual suspects such as:  losing weight, saving money, traveling, meeting “him” and purchasing a home.

The bad news is when it came to losing a couple of pounds and meeting him I failed, failed, failed.  I got nothing, nada, zero, zilch to offer for either of those two major goals.

The good news is that I hit two of the major ones out of the park – I nailed the savings/debt management AND purchased my first home!!!  I did it on my own and in one of the worst places to purchase property, good old Southern California.

Ah… what a great feeling and while I’m trying not to let what one of my friends joked about being a homeowner raises the bar even higher for the types of men I’d consider taint my joy,  I would be lying if I said there wasn’t some truth to what she said.

The pickings for men who have it together that aren’t bat shit crazy or self-absorbed assholes are pretty slim and not even considering the ownership portion, a lot of them are shacking up or back at home with their parents.  It seems like so many men are really struggling but are always putting themselves out there to date.  I don’t get it.

But to be honest, there’s not been much focus on dating or dealings with any man for that matter, including Papi.  The last potential who at first glance kind of seemed like someone I could entertain as a dating prospect that I’d met right before Thanksgiving ended badly because no matter how much of a gentleman he claimed to be, accepting rejection was NOT his forte.

For days, I was the most beautiful woman in the world, with impressive conversation and book smarts which all changed once I started phasing him out:

Then I see he’s not getting the nice way of me handling things and send him the pink slip, and he responds with this:

He’s not the first and surely won’t be the last of his kind who can’t handle rejection.

Do you know how often men actually stoop to this level? More often than you think another blogger shares here. Clearly, he was really in his feelings and I’ll have to share some choice words from another guy who couldn’t take the “not interested” reply and read me the riot act on of all things, understanding rejection.

Then there’s the fall back guy Papi, whose sole purpose in life was to make my fantasies of multiple orgasmic nights come to life but towards the end of the year, that routine became old.

  I guess I just got tired of trying to figure him out and interpret his mixed and often cryptic messages that were as frustrating as solving a rubik’s cube with too many missing pieces.  Zero patience or time for that song and dance and even as recently as a few days ago, have been ignoring his attempts to bring in the New Year with sweating and groaning by sending messages like this:

Yes, that is exactly what you think it is  and ordinarily these kinds of tempting sexting messages  would have me drooling.  I decided to opt out this time around.

So for now, not much has changed on the hangovers scene.

Perhaps since one of the things I’ve been wanting for so long (being a homeowner) has satiated the desire for something else I’m wanting (a good man) and there are so many things I want to do to fix up my new place as much as possible in the next couple of months to keep me distracted from dating.

But…with my short attention span, I suspect I’ll be back to trolling for prospects pretty soon.

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones