My Dating Hangovers

Single With Benefits

Single With Benefits


I’m still here and yes, still single.

This chick here has been quite busy over the holidays and am just now starting to get into the swing of things after ending the year trying to knock out some of my goals that I’d set which included the usual suspects such as:  losing weight, saving money, traveling, meeting “him” and purchasing a home.

The bad news is when it came to losing a couple of pounds and meeting him I failed, failed, failed.  I got nothing, nada, zero, zilch to offer for either of those two major goals.

The good news is that I hit two of the major ones out of the park – I nailed the savings/debt management AND purchased my first home!!!  I did it on my own and in one of the worst places to purchase property, good old Southern California.

Ah… what a great feeling and while I’m trying not to let what one of my friends joked about being a homeowner raises the bar even higher for the types of men I’d consider taint my joy,  I would be lying if I said there wasn’t some truth to what she said.

The pickings for men who have it together that aren’t bat shit crazy or self-absorbed assholes are pretty slim and not even considering the ownership portion, a lot of them are shacking up or back at home with their parents.  It seems like so many men are really struggling but are always putting themselves out there to date.  I don’t get it.

But to be honest, there’s not been much focus on dating or dealings with any man for that matter, including Papi.  The last potential who at first glance kind of seemed like someone I could entertain as a dating prospect that I’d met right before Thanksgiving ended badly because no matter how much of a gentleman he claimed to be, accepting rejection was NOT his forte.

For days, I was the most beautiful woman in the world, with impressive conversation and book smarts which all changed once I started phasing him out:


Then I see he’s not getting the nice way of me handling things and send him the pink slip, and he responds with this:

He’s not the first and surely won’t be the last of his kind who can’t handle rejection.

Do you know how often men actually stoop to this level? More often than you think another blogger shares here. Clearly, he was really in his feelings and I’ll have to share some choice words from another guy who couldn’t take the “not interested” reply and read me the riot act on of all things, understanding rejection.

Then there’s the fall back guy Papi, whose sole purpose in life was to make my fantasies of multiple orgasmic nights come to life but towards the end of the year, that routine became old.

  I guess I just got tired of trying to figure him out and interpret his mixed and often cryptic messages that were as frustrating as solving a rubik’s cube with too many missing pieces.  Zero patience or time for that song and dance and even as recently as a few days ago, have been ignoring his attempts to bring in the New Year with sweating and groaning by sending messages like this:


Yes, that is exactly what you think it is  and ordinarily these kinds of tempting sexting messages  would have me drooling.  I decided to opt out this time around.

So for now, not much has changed on the hangovers scene.

Perhaps since one of the things I’ve been wanting for so long (being a homeowner) has satiated the desire for something else I’m wanting (a good man) and there are so many things I want to do to fix up my new place as much as possible in the next couple of months to keep me distracted from dating.

But…with my short attention span, I suspect I’ll be back to trolling for prospects pretty soon.

Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

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Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!



  1. I’m not sure how you still do the whole dating thing after so long. It’s all a big drag and waste of time but good for you. You got something you worked hard for. Maybe the perfect man is closer too.

  2. How simple of him to resort to name calling just because you rejected him! JERK! And trust me, YOU are FAR from being fat!!! I don’t miss the dating world at all!!!
    On a happier note, CONGRATULATIONS on buying your first home!!! Really proud of you and happy for you! Keep soaring, beautiful lady.

    1. Simple indeed LT and what’s funny is he tells me before we meet how much he hates skinny chicks. Meets me and keep his short, stubby little fingers off of me. That was part of the problem. I didn’t hold it against him that he was short with T-rex arms; it was his sleazy, can’t way to undress you mannerisms that turned me off. Way off.

      Thanks love for the kind words and congrats!

  3. Good old fat shaming huh? Well I don’t know what type of body you’re working with hut if it’s any consolation, I’m 110 lbs wet and had a guy in dated call me fat. I was like where, little d___ bastard!

    It never gets old and it’s true, rejection is a tough pill to swallow for most.

    1. Fat shaming at its finest and these clowns who say crap like this forget one thing- screenshot.

      As in I have all text messages of adornment prior to the fat shaming.

      Poor thing. Doesn’t know how to be a good sport when losing the game.

  4. I hate to hit you with the cliché comment, but distractions are always good. When you’re not expecting to meet someone that’s when the magic happens

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